The longest police report I ever saw in my days at the Evergreen school paper involved the cops just asking someone to move 100 feet down the road before hitchhiking. It was ludicrous. However, no one in the office was surprised. We all knew the guy.

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"