MOST RAPIDLY CHANGING LANGUAGE

Linguists have determined that Leg Language, spoken by many of the inhabitants of Hayling Island, is the most rapidly changing language on earth.

Linguist and all-around-expert Knowemall Chompski has found that less than two generations ago virtually all inhabitants spoke Head Language. “The evolution is quite amazing,” he said. “Within fifty years the Head words connected to Neck words, the Neck words connected to the Back words, the Back words connected to the Hip words, the Hip words connected to the Leg words.”

Chompski estimates that within fifteen years Leg Language will have evolved to Foot Language. “Holy Ezekiel,” he said, “Dem words gonna walk around!”

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.