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The violence or the combat?... two different things in my mind.
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A part of me likes both.
However, I've always been in control of that part. The thing is; I'm good at violence
and combat. People tend to enjoy things they're good at.
Boxing, jiu-jitsu and hand-to-hand combat training have always been some of my favorite pastimes. Punching and being punched in the ring is excellent training. I'm also an expert shot and a good commander. My Marines typically out-performed their peers and other units we went up against.
I enjoyed surfing, skiing and mountainbiking partially for the fact that sometimes you wipe out. Football too.
Among the many emotions I felt in combat, satisfaction and enjoyment had their place along with the fear and anger. As did humor. A very black humor...
Ask any tanker and most will admit that open combat from an M1-A1 has its joys. It's one of the things we try to help our returning veterans accept and deal with when they return to civilian life. 'How could I enjoy something that everyone thinks is so awful?' It troubles some people...
Just not me.