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Starfaring civilizations are just very rare - and/or they last only for a very short time.
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To be fair, that is more or less what Bostrom is saying; by including the term 'and/or' you include a wide range of possibilities. If the correct solution is simply 'they last only for a short time', the question becomes 'why?'.
In writing our fictional history of the galaxy for Orion's Arm, we happily included many extinct species that rules the galaxy, or a part of it, for a few tens of millions of years at most.
Here is a summary of the fictional empires which rose and fell over the lifetime of the Earth in that scenario (there were probably a few before the Earth was formed, but they are not listed)
http://www.orionsarm.com/timeline/preterragen.html
But the one notable feature that is common to all but the most recent is that they all died out.
If one day we can make a similar history of the real galaxy over its lifetime, will we find numerous dead civilisations to put on the list? And if we do, the question resurfaces- why are they all vanished? Once a civilisation spreads itself out over a sufficient number of stars what could cause it to fall?
In the past I've answered this question with 'all things must pass' or 'all good things must come to an end', nowt but platitudes. But on an interstellar scale I can't really guess why every such civilisation must eventually fall, assuming they come to exist in the first place.
Of course any suggestions would be welcome...