So I've been thinking about this whole "black hole" thing...

Let me see if I've got this right:

1. The LHC will be used to create "exotic" subatomic particles by smashing together more mundane particles at high velocities. m=c²/E or whatever.

2. Historically, these exotic particles are so called because they're extremely unstable, and tend to disappear back into the aether mere instants after they are brought into existence.

3. A black hole is basically just an object the mass of which is entirely within its Schwarzchild radius, resulting in an event horizon and the inaccessibility of all information therein.

4. It's conceivable that the LHC might produce an exotic subatomic particle the mass of which is entirely within its Schwarzchild radius--thus, a "black hole".

5. But the mass involved would be miniscule. Bigger than the masses of other exotic particles produced in lesser particle accelerators--that's the whole point of the LHC, after all--but still vanishingly small.

6. And speaking of "vanishing", per 2 (above), it's entirely likely that this "black hole" particle will evaporate instantly, just like others of its ilk. After all, if these kinds of particles stuck around, we wouldn't call them exotic, we'd see them all over the place, and we'd have names for them like Proton, and Neutron, and whatnot.

7. Not to mention Hawking Radiation, which (I think) is still largely theoretical, but is (I think) based on sound reasoning, and which--if it truly exists--will also conspire to do away with any planet-gobblers the LHC manages to produce.

8. That said, and Hollywood aside, what's so spooky about black holes anyway? I mean, yes, yes, they're really massive, I get. But plenty of things are really massive. Jupiter is really massive. Technically, Jupiter is just as massive as a black hole of mass equal to the mass of Jupiter. Would it really be all that scary if Jupiter's mass were entirely within its Schwarzchild radius? And what would happen if a black hole massing, say, two and a half protons were to collide with a titanium atom? Would it gobble up the Titanium atom? Would its gravitational force even be powerful enough to break any electrons free of the Titanium atom?

9. Oh, and hey, here's a bizarre thought: What would the Feynman diagram for photon interaction with such a black hole look like? What are the implications for QED or QCD or whatever, of subatomic particles interacting with a particle about which no information can escape?

10. Or am I not even wrong?