Thank you for posting this, Jeff. I was going to post something similar* but lost my nerve.

*My post had "nearly ready" rather than "about ready" in the penultimate sentence.
Or was it the last sentence? After all, the call for mother didn't have a verb in it.
Oh no, why did I start this?
And it's hard to type this with just one hand - I am holding a tennis racquet in the other hand.