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As for the so-called "science of love", my advice is don't believe any of it. Well, maybe give the benefit of the doubt to 1% of it. Science just hasn't come that far yet, despite what its enthusiasts like to boast.
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Disinfo Agent, so you don't think it is mostly chemical? I dont think they will ever fully understand personality, moods, behavior, and emotion, but it seems simple enough, although I do wonder why some people can cause the reaction and others can cause the opposite.
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Then to even HAVE an "ideal" is to have an inherently negative attitude that sets you up to always disapprove of everyone and everything as falling short of it.
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I suppose you are right, Delvo, it is setting up for disappointment if you hold to it, but doesn't everyone talk about to what they are attracted? I think the "ideal" is more of a matter of thinking we know what we want, but not really knowing until we have it.