Wow, Josh. Your dilemma sounds exactly like mine. I've made two attempts to re-career myself (into geology and law); both failed. Now, I'm just looking to pay off mortgage debt and retire as soon as possible, preferably somewhere with few people.

A rescued cat ranch sounds good.

ETA: I'll add that as part of my 'plan', I decided that as long as I'm woking this job I don't like, I might as well get paid the most I can. So I took a supervisor position, which was something I'd been offered for a while but eschewed. While I do like cats, I hate herding them.