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Old 03-December-2002, 03:39 PM
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Early Christmas present, folks.

*Snicker*
*Chortle*
*Guffaw*


http://english.pravda.ru/main/2002/12/02/40259.html


Quote:
Black to Swallow Planet Earth

A monstrous black hole was discovered six thousand light years far from the Earth

Is there an absolute evil deed in the world? Is there the absolute evil, like the absolute zero of temperature, the symbol of death and stillness, when there is not even a small vestige of any movement? The absolute and perfect evil is the black hole. Any kind of disaster pales in comparison with a black hole. A black hole devours everything in its path in a blink of an eye.

The horrid black hole called GRO J1655-40 is approaching planet Earth with great strides. It might swallow our Sun, like a huge crocodile. This black hole was discovered by the American space telescope Hubble. This telescope has already made a lot of discoveries, which has allowed mankind to push the boundaries of the knowledge of the Universe further. However, the Hubble’s latest discovery is something that is not pleasant to know, and bad piece of news makes its messenger bad as well. People will definitely hate that damned American Hubble and its discoveries.

It might seem ridiculous to say that the Sun, which has a radius of 700 thousand kilometers, can be squeezed to the size of a soccer ball. Yet, this is exactly what happens to a star that turns into a black hole. Its gravity is monstrous, and it cannot be subdued by the fastest physical body, not even by a ray of light. A black hole is a place from which nothing returns, ever.

A black hole is absolutely invisible. It is totally insatiable. Scientists’ calculations show that a black hole weighing one billion tons (the weight of a mountain) would have the radius of 10(-13). This is the size of a neutron or of a proton. Describing the things that happen as you fall into a black hole is very similar to a horror movie.

This invincible black hole is moving towards the Earth from the constellation of Scorpio. At the present moment, this space monster is six thousand light years far from the planet. It is moving towards the Earth at a rate of 400 thousand kilometers an hour. Scientist Vadim Pimenov said that it is the first of all discovered black holes moving towards out Galaxy very fast. “This is an impressive discovery, because its speed confirms its connection with a Supernova explosion. Scientists from the Institute of Astrophysics in Germany have recently discovered the largest of all black holes next to the solar system. Therefore, there are many black holes objects in the Universe.

This is good news, is it not? It’s like learning that there is a blood-thirsty killer living next door to you. This news gets even worse, because every black hole is invisible. It is not easy to find a black hole in space. Scientists have compared the pictures that the Hubble telescope took with other data. This allowed them to calculate the speed and the trajectory of a black hole’s movement in the Galaxy.

The hole is called GRO J1655-40. It gradually devours a star next to it, absorbing gas from it and becoming bigger and bigger. This process creates a reaction jet, like in a blowpipe. A reaction jet moves away from a black hole at a speed comparable to the speed of light. Astrophysicists call this effect a microquasar – a diminished model of a black hole that live in the nucleus of most active galaxies, known as quasars. This is the second microquasar in the Milky Way.

If a black holes gets close to a star, it destroys it without any vestige of pity or mercy. Is there any way to avoid this? There are some ideas, but hopes are rather vague for the time being. However, a black hole opens up very interesting possibilities for distant journeys in space. If there is an object called a black hole, where everything disappears, there should be an object called a white hole, in which nothing can fall. In other words, the idea goes that, if you jump into a black hole in one place, you will fall out of a white hole in another spot. Is it insane? Not according to Einstein's relativity theory. Needless to mention, such theories are only theories. The path from a black hole to a white hole might be shut down on account of slight perturbation. Yet, there might be such a path, although it would be more risky than jumping off a building.

Jumping from a high altitude was equal to suicide until the invention of a parachute. Diving in the depth of the ocean was impossible until the invention of the aqualung. Will humanity manage to fall into a black hole and jump out of it in another Galaxy?
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Old 03-December-2002, 03:50 PM
Zathras Zathras is offline
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Wow. This article is so densely packed with mistakes that not even logic can escape.

Very interesting fiction--possibly even better than the Weekly World News.
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Old 03-December-2002, 04:23 PM
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...And one of the most Aristotelian views of evil I have seen out of any field of science lately.

Aporetic
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Old 03-December-2002, 04:36 PM
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Quote:
On 2002-12-03 10:50, Zathras wrote:
Wow. This article is so densely packed with mistakes that not even logic can escape.

Very interesting fiction--possibly even better than the Weekly World News.
It's usually better. Pravda is the Russian newspaper. Ex-patriate Soviets had a running gag concerning the name of the paper. Pravda means Truth in Russian. The running gag was "Why do they call it truth when the most outrageous lies are printed in it?"

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Old 03-December-2002, 05:14 PM
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Quote:
On 2002-12-03 11:36, Valiant Dancer wrote:

Ex-patriate Soviets had a running gag concerning the name of the paper. Pravda means Truth in Russian.
There was another paper called "Izvestia", for "news". A derivative gag was: "On Pravda there's no Izvestia; on Izvestia there's no Pravda".
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Old 03-December-2002, 05:26 PM
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Gah, and the best part was: "People will definitely hate that damned American Hubble and its discoveries." Of course they will! Everyone hates an orbiting tube of silicon, glass, and metal. It must be evil.

Cackle. -Colt
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Old 03-December-2002, 09:16 PM
AgoraBasta AgoraBasta is offline
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Quote:
On 2002-12-03 12:14, Argos wrote:
"On Pravda there's no Izvestia; on Izvestia there's no Pravda".
My fav was "Pravdy net, Rossia prodana, Trud po dve kopeyki" - closest translation - "No Truth, Russia sold out, Labour at two kopecks" (Sovetskaya Rossia and Trud were other soviet newpapers).

Seriously, though, reading Pravda these days makes no sense at all...
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Old 04-December-2002, 07:35 AM
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Quote:
Seriously, though, reading Pravda these days makes no sense at all...
Hmm, kinda reminds me of some posters I know.

::ducks and runs::
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Old 04-December-2002, 10:53 AM
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Quote:
On 2002-12-03 16:16, AgoraBasta wrote:

Seriously, though, reading Pravda these days makes no sense at all...
I would say the same about CNN. [img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img]
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Old 04-December-2002, 11:14 AM
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Currently, pretty much "Black Hole" stories are in the media. Good ones and bad ones. My children (5 and 7) are pretty impressed, but also afraid because of seeing all these black holes sucking in stuff like crazy in animations in the news. I had to talk with them about the subject a few times and had to explain, that these things are pretty far away and no danger at all for us.

Luckily, they don't read the Pravda... [img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]

Harald
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Old 04-December-2002, 02:58 PM
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Quote:
On 2002-12-04 02:35, JS Princeton wrote:
Quote:
Seriously, though, reading Pravda these days makes no sense at all...
Hmm, kinda reminds me of some posters I know.

::ducks and runs::
HEY! I resemble that remark! [img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]
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Old 04-December-2002, 04:40 PM
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From the topic line:
Quote:
Pravda: Black to Swallow Planet Earth
Now that's a really big Nigerian! Is this some sort of stunt for "Ripley's Believe It Or Not"? [img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 05-December-2002, 04:42 AM
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Holy cow! It's the Nothing, from The Neverending Story!

Great flick.
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Old 05-December-2002, 04:50 AM
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As always, however, the (original) book was better. [img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]

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Old 05-December-2002, 05:35 AM
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"Seriously, though, reading Pravda these days makes no sense at all." - AgoraBasta

"I would say the same about CNN." - Argos

Actually I think CNN is one of the better news channels. (Except when Larry King decides to interview nitwits like John Edward.) When it comes to astronomy news, CNN seems to be the only one that goes back and corrects mistakes when brought to their attention.
FOX on the other hand still endorses the moon hoax hucksters by re-running their goofy show.

Chip
(Bows, gets down off soap box, takes propeller cap off.) [img]/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]
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