And now for something completely different:

[crateris]

The Larch




:lol:

C.

[zebo-the-fat]

ni !

:D

[crateris]

I'm not dead yet!

C.

[frogesque]

Spam, spam, spam and spam!

[Donnie B.]

They don't so much fly as plummet.

[Doe, John]

This'll show those Romans

[crateris]

Behold! The holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!

C.

[Celestial Mechanic]

I got better!

[weatherc]

It's only a model.

[Yoshua]

Don't say the name Vic!

[Maksutov]

Stop it.



(Vic?)

[R.A.F.]

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK, I sleep all night and I work all day.

[mickal555]

Whats this? :-s

[Andromeda321]

'Tis but a scratch!

[Maksutov]

Well, that's no ordinary rabbit!

[Morrolan]

Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.

[Ari Jokimaki]

Not raw, cooked!

[astrosapien]

Finland, Finland, Finland.
The country where I quite want to be,
Your mountains so lofty,
Your treetops so tall.
Finland, Finland, Finland,
Finland has it all.
:D

[Ari Jokimaki]

Finland, Finland, Finland...

:lol: Touché! =D>

[frogesque]

http://www.intriguing.com/mp/_pictures/compdiff/foot.jpg

[astrosapien]

:lol: Touché! =D>
:D Thanks. And now a film about a man with a tape recorder up his brother's nose.

[Bawheid]

How do you know he's the King?

[Fram]

- You are all individuals!
- YES, WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS!

[cyswxman]

What is your name?

[Waarthog]

Did you say "knives?"

Ro-tating knives, yes.

[frogesque]

Ministry of Silly Walks

[AstroSmurf]

Und nun, Albrecht Dürer - sein Zeit und zein Leben.

[Morrolan]

Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

[mickal555]

Whats this thread about please help

[frogesque]

Whats this thread about please help

:lol:

Full speed ahead, Mr. Cohen! (http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/monty.html)

[mickal555]

Still don't get it............ :(

[CTM VT 2K]

Und jezt etwas ganz anders.

[Maksutov]

Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

[astrosapien]

Dinsdale!

[Moose]

Mickal555, in order to gain enlightenment, you must chop down the mightiest tree in the forest with...

A HERRING!!!

#-o

[CTM VT 2K]

Mickal555, in order to gain enlightenment, you must chop down the mightiest tree in the forest with...

A HERRING!!!

#-o

A Herring! It cannot be done!

[frogesque]

Richard Nixon's got a hedgehog called Frank.

[mickal555]

Mickal555, in order to gain enlightenment, you must chop down the mightiest tree in the forest with...

A HERRING!!!

#-o

A Herring! It cannot be done!
Its all sounds so crazy to me :cry:

[Maksutov]

All right, sonny. That's enough. Just pack that in. [crash]

[Moose]

(Mickal, here's a hint: Google is your friend. There is a common theme here, which should become obvious with a little quote searching.)

[mickal555]

ohhhhhhh
are these just monty quotes

[Maksutov]

Mickal555, in order to gain enlightenment, you must chop down the mightiest tree in the forest with...

A HERRING!!!

#-o

A Herring! It cannot be done!
Its all sounds so crazy to me :cry:
Oh, had enough, eh?

[Moose]

I suspect some would argue your use of the word "just", but yes, these are all Monty Python quotes.

"That rabbit's dynamite."

[frogesque]

Oh, you promised you wouldn't do fruit this week.

(Mickal, here's a hint: Google is your friend. There is a common theme here, which should become obvious with a little quote searching.)

Or just click on the link in an earlier post of mine. :lol:

[mickal555]

Oh, you promised you wouldn't do fruit this week.

(Mickal, here's a hint: Google is your friend. There is a common theme here, which should become obvious with a little quote searching.)

Or just click on the link in an earlier post of mine. :lol:
Nope I still did't understand I knew it was somthing to do with monty but.............

[Wally]

"Some day lad, all this will be yours."

"What? The curtains???"

(followed sortly by. . .)

"She's got HUGE. . . tracts of land!"

[frogesque]

One for Michal555

A Guide to Australian Table Wines (http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/Scripts/PreviousRecord/TheAustralianTableWineSketch)

[mickal555]

ok............. 8-[ not that I drink it however........ 8-[

[weatherc]

Well, yes, but African swallows aren't exactly migratory, are they?

[Waarthog]

Its a large glandular organ in your abdomen.

[Wally]

and, my old signiture. . .

"are you suggesting coconuts migrate???"

[ToSeek]

Come at me with that banana!

[SeanF]

Know what I mean, eh? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

[Morrolan]

are all your pets called Eric??

[weatherc]

But I didn't eat the salmon mousse!

[ToSeek]

You do have some cheese, don't you?

[frogesque]

Bruce: Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Haegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip.

[Tensor]

You all are organ donors, right?

[Nicolas]

Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery!

[crateris]

RUN AWAYYYYY!!!


C.

[pghnative]

Can't I have just a little bit of peril?

[Captain Kidd]

[edit]well crap, ToSeek beat me to it. Hmm,

I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!

[CTM VT 2K]

Can't I have just a little bit of peril?

No, it's too perilous.

[teddyv]

So if you doubt your courage, or your strength, come no further! For death awaits you with nasty, pointy teeth!

[ToSeek]

With a melon!?

[CTM VT 2K]

[John Clease with a Hungarian Accent] I viell not buy thies record, it is scratched.[/John Clease with a Hungarian Accent]

[Donnie B.]

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear...

[Nicolas]

Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!

(Bedevere AFTER the wooden rabbit had been placed in the French castle and they were waiting outside in the woods)

[pghnative]

in the castle ...uunnngghhh

... "Perhaps he was dictating!"

[Donnie B.]

Now go away, before I taunt you a second time!

[PyroFreak]

Please excuse the interruption. Those responible have just been sacked.

(that should be close enough to it :D )

[SeanF]

Oh, go and get a glass of water.

[ToSeek]

It's all in a day's work for Confuse-a-Cat. (http://home.earthlink.net/~cacltd/)

[Van Rijn]

A moose once bit my sister ...

[Hutch]

<run> <run> <stumble fall> <run> <pant pant pant> <run>

.....It's...

[Hutch]

Upper Class Twit of the Year Contest


Albatross!

[pghnative]

Not a quote, but who here wouldn't want to work for the Ministry of Silly Walks???

[Swift]

Philosophers song

Immanual Kant was a real ****ant
Who was very rarely stable

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table

David Hume could out consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates, himself, was permanently ****ed

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill

Plato they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram

And Rene' Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am"

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker
But a bugger when he's ****ed

[ToSeek]

I met a traveller in an antique land
Who said 'Six vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert
And on the pedestal these words appear
"My name is Ozymandias, King of Ants
Look on my feelers, termites, and despair
I am the biggest ant you'll ever see
The ants of old weren't half as bold and big
And fierce as me."'

[Doe, John]

the . . . Larch

[tlbs101]

Gatekeeper: "What is the terminal velocity of a fully laden swallow?"

Arthur: "What do you mean, African or European swallow?"

Gatekeeper: "Wha.. I don't know... AAHHHHHhhhhhhhh......."

---------
The Liberty Bell March WMA file (1 Mb -- small as I could make it for now) (http://tpounds.homestead.com/files/TheLibertyBell.wma)
---------

I've got so many favorites... this is a great thread. :D

[Crashtest]

Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

[ToSeek]

Why is it that the world never remembered the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?

[Doe, John]

after-dinner mint?

[Dark Helmet]

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja!...
Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[EvilBob]

King Arthur: Who are you who can summon fire without flint or tinder?

Sorceror: There are some who call me... Tim?

[Fram]

I like Chinese
They only come up to my knees

[kucharek]

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja!...
Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :o :-?

:-({|=

[enginelessjohn]

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!


:D :D :D :D :D

[AstroSmurf]

It's... the machine that goes PING!

[Maksutov]

Ah... my hovercraft is full of eels.

[kucharek]

It's bicycle repair man!

[Maksutov]

Started off as a nice little idea about old ladies attacking young men, but now it's just got SILLY!

[Morrolan]

Are you embarrassed easily? I am. But it's nothing to worry about. It's all part of growing up and being British.

[Roy Batty]

Pie Jesu domine,
Dona eis requiem.

Thwack!

[Morrolan]

Let that be a warning to you all. You move at your peril, for I have two pistols here. I know one of them isn't loaded any more, but the other one is, so that's one of you dead for sure...or just about for sure anyway.


(did i warn you guys that i have all MP sketches and movies on DVD? :D )

[Captain Kidd]

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK, I sleep all night and I work all day.He's a lumberjack and he's OK, he sleeps all night and he works all day.

[Maksutov]

Let that be a warning to you all. You move at your peril, for I have two pistols here. I know one of them isn't loaded any more, but the other one is, so that's one of you dead for sure...or just about for sure anyway.


(did i warn you guys that i have all MP sketches and movies on DVD? :D )
(that's not an advantage against someone who has them all memorized.)

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me... I am no longer infected.

[weatherc]

I'm surprised no one posted this one yet:

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.


The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

[mickal555]

I'm surprised no one posted this one yet:

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.


The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.
I've only seen one monty python "the meaning of life" and its probley the stangest thing I've ever seen in my life but I remember that song and "the machine that goes bing"

[Swift]

Mrs Nigger-Baiter: Oochy coochy. (the son smiles a little tight smile) Look at him laughing... ooh, he's a chirpy little fellow. Isn't he a chirpy little fellow ... eh? eh? Does he talk Does he talk, eh?

Son: Of course I talk, I'm Minister for Overseas Development.

Mrs Nigger-Baiter: Ooh, he's a clever little boy - he's a clever little boy. (gets out a rattle) Do you like your rattle? Do you like your rattle? Look at his little eyes following it ... look at his iggy piggy piggy little eyeballs eh... oo... he's got a tubby tum-tum. Oh, he's got a tubby tum-tum.

Son (whilst Mrs Nigger-Baiter is talking): Mother, could I have a quick cup of tea please. I have an important statement on Rhodesia to make in the Commons at six.

Sound of an explosion out of vision. Cut to reveal Mrs Nigger-Baiter's chair charred and smoking. Mrs Nigger-Baiter is no longer there. The upholstery is smouldering gently.

Mrs S: Oh, Mrs Nigger-Baiter's exploded.

Son: Good thing, too.

Mrs S: She was my best friend.

Son: Oh, mother, don't be so sentimental. Things explode every day.

[ToSeek]

I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

[Wally]

Gatekeeper: "What is the terminal velocity of a fully laden swallow?"

Arthur: "What do you mean, African or European swallow?"

Gatekeeper: "Wha.. I don't know... AAHHHHHhhhhhhhh......."

---------
The Liberty Bell March WMA file (1 Mb -- small as I could make it for now) (http://tpounds.homestead.com/files/TheLibertyBell.wma)
---------

I've got so many favorites... this is a great thread. :D

It's "unladen swallow", isn't it???

[Wally]

"Get that, will you hun. . ."

(as said by a worn-out looking woman to her young daughter as another baby falls out from under her house dress as she's doing the dishes. . .)

[Swift]

"What's for afters?"

"Rat tart, rat soufflé, or strawberry tart."

"Strawberry tart?"

"Well, its got some rat in it"

[Reacher]

"Just don't pull it out in public, or they'll stick you in the dock,
And you won't
A-come
A-back.
Thankyou."

[ToSeek]

La, di di, one two three
Eric the Half a Bee
A B C D E F G
Eric the Half a Bee

[weatherc]

We are no longer the Knights Who Say "NEE!" We are now the Knights Who Say "Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-Kapang-ZOOOpoing-umzowmzn!"

[frogesque]

No, no, Dickens wrote "David Copperfield" with *two* Ps. This is "David Coperfield" with *one* P by Edmund Wells.

[teddyv]

And now, the fish-slapping dance...

[ToSeek]

But it's my only line!

[eburacum45]

Kolour. Oh that's very good, I never thought of that! What a silly bunt.

[Swift]

I have a theory that is mine that I thought of that belong to me that is this. cough, cough, cough Ok, the theory that is mine that belongs to me that I thought of is that the brontosaurus is thin at the beginning, thick in the middle, and thin at the end.

[Roy Batty]

It's only waffer thin.

[Maksutov]

[edit]I've only seen one monty python "the meaning of life" and its probley the stangest thing I've ever seen in my life but I remember that song and "the machine that goes bing"
"probley"? Tsk, tsk. Such English! You misspelled "prolly"!


What's this, then? 'Romanes Eunt Domus'? 'People called Romanes they go the house'?

[ToSeek]

The Universe consists of a billion, billion galaxies... 77,000,000,000 miles across, and every galaxy is made up of a billion, zillion stars and around these stars circle a billion planets, and of all of these planets the greenest and the pleasantest is the planet Earth, in the system of Sol, in the Galaxy known as the Milky Way ... And it was to this world that creatures of an alien planet came ... to conquer and destroy the very heart of civilization...

[EvilBob]

Sergeant: We found this spoon, sir!

Centurion: Well done, sergeant!

[teddyv]

...and over there on the oyster beds is Formula I racing.

[Morrolan]

Mrs Conclusion: Hello, Mrs Premise.

Mrs Premise: Hello, Mrs Conclusion.

Mrs Conclusion: Busy day?

Mrs Premise: Busy! I've just spent four hours burying the cat.

Mrs Conclusion: Four hours to bury a cat?

Mrs Premise: Yes! It wouldn't keep still, wriggling about howling its head off.

Mrs Conclusion: Oh - it wasn't dead then?

Mrs Premise: Well, no, no, but it's not at all a well cat so as we were going away for a fortnight's holiday, I thought I'd better bury it just to be on the safe side.

[ToSeek]

He's that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep.

[Celestial Mechanic]

There's a piece of brain lodged in your head!! It will have to come out!!
Edited to be big and bold and suggest shouting.

[Fram]

The city of Aaaaaaaaaargh!

[Nicolas]

He must have died while carving it.
Oh, come on!
Well, that's what it says.
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'aaaaaggh'. He'd just say it!
Well, that's what's carved in the rock!
Perhaps he was dictating.

**********


This is one of the best parts in the film, I won't post the complete transcription though :) Here it is for the fans:

http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/grail-22.htm[/quote]

[kucharek]

When you're feeling in the dumps, Don't be silly chumps. Just purse your lips and :-" -- that's the thing!

[Morrolan]

The city of Aaaaaaaaaargh!

castle... :wink:

This is my wife Audrey, she smells a bit but she has a heart of gold.

[ToSeek]

If I were not in the CID
Something else I'd like to be
If I were not in the CID
A window cleaner, me!
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
And a rub-a-dub all day long
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
I'd sing this merry song!

[Roy Batty]

I'm worried about the baggage retrieval system they've got at Heathrow.

[astrosapien]

My brain hurts!

[frogesque]

Bunch of monkeys on the ceiling, sir! Grab your egg-and-fours and let's get the bacon delivered!

[Yoshua]

Stop it.



(Vic?)

Sorry this reply is late. It's from a sketch called "The Bishop" (assuming I didn't mangle the name, it's been awhile).

[frogesque]

Oh, we use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and sealed in a succulent, Swiss, quintuple-smooth, treble-milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose.

[teddyv]

Bedevere: How do we tell wheter or not she is made of wood.
Peasant: Build a bridge out of here!
Bedevere: Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
Peasant: Oh yeah...

[Roy Batty]

I like traffic lights,
although my name's not Bamber.

[EvilBob]

Woman: There's another dead bishop on the landing.

Church Policeman: Suffragan or diocesan?

Woman: How should I know?

Church Policeman: It's tattooed on the back of their neck.

[Celestial Mechanic]

Semprini?

[Fram]

Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!

[Bawheid]

I'm not a pacifist sir, I'm a coward.

[Celestial Mechanic]

It's spelled "Luxury Yacht" but it's actually pronounced "Throat Warbler-Mangrove".

[Lurker]

It's da bishop!! :-?

[Maksutov]

And so... they sailed off into the ledgers of history - one by one the financial capitals crumbling under the might of their business acumen - or so it would have been .. if certain modern theories concerning the shape of the world had not proved to be ...... disastrously wrong.

[eburacum45]

I've got a second-hand apron.

Thank you.

...I nearly got in at Hendon.

Thank you.

[swansont]

You're no fun anymore.

[mickal555]

HAHA this thread is dying

Edit: whoops

[Swift]

Bedevere: How do we tell wheter or not she is made of wood.
Peasant: Build a bridge out of here!
Bedevere: Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
Peasant: Oh yeah...
Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant: No it floats!
Peasants: THROW HER INTO THE POND!
Bedevere: What also floats in water?
Peasants: Bread. Apples. Very small rocks. Churches.
Arthur: A DUCK!
Peasants: ooohhhh
Bedevere: Exactly!

[ToSeek]

You've ... you've got a nice army base here, colonel. We wouldn't want anything to happen to it.

[Swift]

HAHA this thread is dying

Edit: whoops
It's not dead yet. It's getting better.

[frogesque]

In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!

[Swift]

How about cheddar?

Don't have much call for it around here.

Don't have much call for it..... it's the single most popular cheese in the world.

[teddyv]

Bedevere: How do we tell wheter or not she is made of wood.
Peasant: Build a bridge out of here!
Bedevere: Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
Peasant: Oh yeah...
Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant: No it floats!
Peasants: THROW HER INTO THE POND!
Bedevere: What also floats in water?
Peasants: Bread. Apples. Very small rocks. Churches.
Arthur: A DUCK!
Peasants: ooohhhh
Bedevere: Exactly!

Peasant: So, if she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood...
Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant: [long pause] A witch!
Bedevere: We shall use my largest scales. Remove the supports!
Peasants: A witch!
Woman: Its a fair cop.

[eburacum45]

What do you keep your hard-boiled eggs in?
I think in future I shall lash them to the handlebars with adhesive tape.
That should obviate a recurrence of the same problem...
Well, I can't stop here all day, must get on; I'm on a cycling tour of Cornwall.

[ToSeek]

Ladies and gentlemen, the World of History is proud to present the premiere of the Batley Townswomen's Guild's re-enactment of 'The Battle of Pearl Harbour'.

[Doe, John]

I like to press wild flowers
Dress up in women's clothing
And hang around in bars
Yes, I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok

[swansont]

Angus Podgorny, what dooo ya mean?

[Celestial Mechanic]

Lemon Curry?

[Celestial Mechanic]

How could I forget this favorite of mine?

Peasant: She turned me into a newt!

Sir Bedevere: You don't look like a newt.

Peasant: Well, I got better ...

[Doe, John]

I break wind in your general direction

[Maksutov]

I break wind in your general direction
Is that the Acadian translation? They do tend to wear windbreakers a lot up there... :D

"Is there someone else up there we could talk to?"

[CTM VT 2K]

"Is there someone else up there we could talk to?"

No. No go away, or I shall taunt you a second time.

[captain swoop]

I'm sorry, I have a cold.

[Maksutov]

Your life or your lupins, my lord.

She's bloody dying and all you bring us is lupins.

Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Riding through the land
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Without a merry band
He steals from the poor.
And gives to the rich
Stupid *****.

What did you sing?

We sang... he steals from the poor and gives to the rich.

Wait a tic... blimey, this redistribution of wealth is trickier than I thought.

[Swift]

We're Knights of the Round Table,
We dance when ere we're able,
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot,
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.

We're Knights of the Round Table,
Our show are formidable,
But many times, we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're Opera mad in Camelot,
We sing from the diaphragm
a looooooot.

In war we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable,
Between our quests we sequin vests,
And impersonate Clark Gable.
It's a busy life in Camelot,
I have to push the pram a lot.



On second thought, it is a silly place.

[ToSeek]

The tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these...

[Celestial Mechanic]

When danger reared its ugly head,
Brave Sir Robin turned and fled,

[Swift]

"Supreme executive powder derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony"
"Be quiet"

[ToSeek]

Help, help, I'm being oppressed!

[swansont]

R-r-razor, razor, cut, CUT! Blood, spurt, artery, murder, court case...aaarg!

...

There finished. I've finished cut, cut, cutting your hair!

[ToSeek]

When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England.

[Swift]

AND NO SINGING!

[jamestox]

"Bring out yer dead!!" Bonk!

[Celestial Mechanic]

Then shalt thou count to three. To three shalt thou count, and three shall be the number of the counting. Thou shalt not count to four, nor two, save that thou countest then to three. Five is right out!

[pghnative]

"One......Two.......Five"
"no, Three, sir"
"Three!!"
KABOOM

[Odinoneeye]

Half a bee, philosphically
must ipso facto, half not be
but can a bee be said to be
or not a bee entirely
when half a bee is not a bee
due to some ancient inury

Singing