Maksutov
01-April-2005, 09:11 AM
In a surprise announcement today President Bush resigned his office, effective immediately. Bush said he was "going back to Texas and resume doing all the things I'd done my first forty years that gave me so much pleasure."
When asked what those things were, Bush took the Fifth, which he then passed around to the group of reporters. This immediately ticked them off, since the first reporter taking a pull noticed the bottle was empty. "That's not the only thing we're gonna leave empty around here." Bush whooped, while noting that, "The Clintons will seem like philan...philthrop...uh, real charity givers once we get through with this place!"
Now new ni President Cheney had no comment on the situation, other than uttering a phrase unprintable here. Cheney's press secretary Kavin Kill'ems said, on the condition of anonymity, that while previous administrations have had slogans and even alphabet agencies, such as Roosevelt's WPA, CCC, and NRA, Cheney's administration would be a one-acronym organization.
NASA Inter 'em Administrator Sean O'Keefe issued this statement:
As a result of this surprise shifting of political power, especially in Washington, where the foam always rises to the top, we have no choice other than to remain in our current position during this time. I expect the transition of Administrators now to take at least four more years, if not more. Therefore I will continue in my post of Inter 'em Administrator for this time period.
Meanwhile I can lift off the cover on our plans for the next decade, which include scrapping Hubble, scrapping the ISS, scrapping the Shuttle, scrapping all new missions, and scrapping all EELVs (including heavy lift boosters). This will all be done as a part of returning to the spirit of the old NASA, which was, of course, a direct descendant of the NACA. And, per the charter of the NACA, NASA will now spend all its time messing around with airplanes.
As a good bureaucrat it is my job to focus on our core competencies. That means using Six Sigma, Value Engineering, Lean, 5S, and other methods for improving efficiency and profits, while eliminating wasted resources and space. In short, we will be taking the "Space" out of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
About time too. I could never understand any of those blasted rocket scientists anyway.
:D
When asked what those things were, Bush took the Fifth, which he then passed around to the group of reporters. This immediately ticked them off, since the first reporter taking a pull noticed the bottle was empty. "That's not the only thing we're gonna leave empty around here." Bush whooped, while noting that, "The Clintons will seem like philan...philthrop...uh, real charity givers once we get through with this place!"
Now new ni President Cheney had no comment on the situation, other than uttering a phrase unprintable here. Cheney's press secretary Kavin Kill'ems said, on the condition of anonymity, that while previous administrations have had slogans and even alphabet agencies, such as Roosevelt's WPA, CCC, and NRA, Cheney's administration would be a one-acronym organization.
NASA Inter 'em Administrator Sean O'Keefe issued this statement:
As a result of this surprise shifting of political power, especially in Washington, where the foam always rises to the top, we have no choice other than to remain in our current position during this time. I expect the transition of Administrators now to take at least four more years, if not more. Therefore I will continue in my post of Inter 'em Administrator for this time period.
Meanwhile I can lift off the cover on our plans for the next decade, which include scrapping Hubble, scrapping the ISS, scrapping the Shuttle, scrapping all new missions, and scrapping all EELVs (including heavy lift boosters). This will all be done as a part of returning to the spirit of the old NASA, which was, of course, a direct descendant of the NACA. And, per the charter of the NACA, NASA will now spend all its time messing around with airplanes.
As a good bureaucrat it is my job to focus on our core competencies. That means using Six Sigma, Value Engineering, Lean, 5S, and other methods for improving efficiency and profits, while eliminating wasted resources and space. In short, we will be taking the "Space" out of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
About time too. I could never understand any of those blasted rocket scientists anyway.
:D