Explaining Relativity to a Cat

[Jim]

Garrison Keillor read this on NPR this morning (the link has an audio selection, too) and it seemed somehow fitting for the BAUT.

http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/programs/2006/01/30/#friday

[Swift]

:lol:
Since cats know that they are each individually the center of the universe, it would appear that normal, physical laws would not apply to them.

[Disinfo Agent]

At least the cat doesn't end up dead (http://www.bautforum.com/showthread.php?t=37516) in that story.

[Gillianren]

I'm sure my cat could understand relativity. I just wish I could make him understand that trying to sit on my lap when I'm typing is inconvenient to me. (Or at least make him care; I'm sure he already knows.)

[Swift]

I'm sure my cat could understand relativity. I just wish I could make him understand that trying to sit on my lap when I'm typing is inconvenient to me. (Or at least make him care; I'm sure he already knows.)
But I stated above, feline relativity means that everything in the universe is relative to the needs of that particular feline. His need to sit on your lap far exceeds any inconvenience to you (silly human).
;)

[sidmel]

I have four of the tiny fur balls. I have to make sure at least a couple are outside at string playing time or universes collide creating havoc in my personal cosmos. I’m also afraid that if all four went for the string at the same time, my house might implode or suddenly cease to exist. Having so many center of the universes in one spot is quite hazardous.

[Sigma_Orionis]

Ah yes Feline Relativity, it's particularly noticiable when they are hungry :lol:

[Grey]

I have to make sure at least a couple are outside at string playing time or universes collide creating havoc in my personal cosmos. I’m also afraid that if all four went for the string at the same time, my house might implode or suddenly cease to exist.Ah, feline string theory. Of course that's the logical extension to feline relativity. ;)

[Disinfo Agent]

They're working on it, they're working on it... (http://www.whiskas.co.nz/kitten/images/pic_cat_wool.jpg)

[Swift]

And of course there is feline dark matter
http://www.whitehouse.gov/kids/india/images/300-p5098-20withplant071001.jpg

[hawaii50girl]

i used to have three cats.

[Carnifex]

I have one sleeping just beside me. No wonder, it's almost 3 AM here :)

WHAT??? 3 AM???

*rushes to the nearest bed*

[TrAI]

Hmmm... At least some cats understand relativity just fine... They are good at manipulating strings too, just don't disturb them if the strings in questions are the hyper- variety, though you would likely never know thats what they are doing just by watching them(How would one know a cat is playing with strings if one can't see the strings?).

Sometimes they are partly or fully invisible, something that can lead to amusing results if they walk amongst a group of humans.

And then there is the whole walking through walls thing, that can be a bit wierd to see if you are unprepaired...

;)

[Carnifex]

It's even more wonderful how they warp space to widen the gap so they fit through. They manage to get through even if measuring after that reveals there is not enough space even for cat's head.

[kylenano]

And of course there is feline dark matter
http://www.whitehouse.gov/kids/india/images/300-p5098-20withplant071001.jpg
Mew-ons?

[LurchGS]

FeL Ions

Personally, I think cats are the ghosts that ghost hunters are hunting - but to catch a cat/ghost, you have to be SMARTER than the cat/ghost...

[sidmel]

Feline Rest Mass Energy

http://tahomagirl.com/mypics/sleeping_cat2.jpg

The rest mass of a cat is determined by the internal unit matter substructure of the particles being rested upon.

Feline Special Relativity Paradox: The present understanding is mass increases with velocity according to the relativistic equations.

But the reverse is observably true with Feline Special Relativity, mass appears to decrease with velocity and increases at rest.

[Nicolas]

If a cat is the center of the Universe, I assume a dog chasing its tail is a pulsar? :D

[pmcolt]

Reference frames for cats:
A cat falls out of a tree. From his reference frame, the entire universe rotates around him until the Earth is beneath his feet.

Relativistic mass increase for cats:
Never get between a cat and his dinner.

The constancy of the speed of light for cats:
*blink* Hmm. Warm sunbeam coming through the window. *blink* Seems constant. *blink* Just to be sure, better take a nap and check on it again later.

[Halcyon Dayz]

Feline Rest Mass Energy

http://tahomagirl.com/mypics/sleeping_cat2.jpg

The rest mass of a cat is determined by the internal unit matter substructure of the particles being rested upon.
Where did you get a picture of my cat? :clap:

"I did, I did taw a puddy tat!"

[sidmel]

Time Dilation for Felines

Feline processes have an intrinsic clock that determines the half-life of kitty treats. However, the rate at which the kitty treats disappear from a reference frame, as observed by a static observer, is faster than the rate of a static clock. Therefore, the spead of a moving feline appears, to the static observer, to be increased by the factor of available kitty treats.

[Max32RoC]

this topic is relativ
So, cats have relative thoughts. The fact is relative that cats ALWAYS have to take a nap on the morning paper, just beside your cornflakes bowl and messing up your food with hair or jump on your keyboard when youre tipingssdkjffruajjgukfkk kfjgao jmalki r-_.raäo03áüßa
...sigh...

[Candy]

this topic is relativ
So, cats have relative thoughts. The fact is relative that cats ALWAYS have to take a nap on the morning paper, just beside your cornflakes bowl and messing up your food with hair or jump on your keyboard when youre tipingssdkjffruajjgukfkk kfjgao jmalki r-_.raäo03áüßa
...sigh...
:lol:

My cat does similar things, often. One time I heard the computer going ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, etc... I went to look, and she had decided to take a nap on my laptop's keyboard. :eek:

[mahesh]

Candy Quote:
Originally Posted by Max32RoC
this topic is relativ
So, cats have relative thoughts. The fact is relative that cats ALWAYS have to take a nap on the morning paper, just beside your cornflakes bowl and messing up your food with hair or jump on your keyboard when youre tipingssdkjffruajjgukfkk kfjgao jmalki r-_.raäo03áüßa
...sigh...



My cat does similar things, often. One time I heard the computer going ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, etc... I went to look, and she had decided to take a nap on my laptop's keyboard.


.......Hi Candy

how about this then...http://PawSense helps you catproof your computer.

our cat has yet to play the keyboard though... :shhh: :shhh: ...

shucks..the link became inactive!!! just google 'pawsense' Candy

[Melusine]

:lol:
Since cats know that they are each individually the center of the universe, it would appear that normal, physical laws would not apply to them.
Yes, but I have two cats with polar opposite personalities and each one thinks he/she is the center of the universe. One is afraid of fans, the other not. One is scared of vacuum cleaners, the other not. One is afraid of bubbles, the other not, and so on. So, it's like each one is like the Sun and I am a planet doing a figure-8 orbit around both of them, and if that sounds loopy, then that's fine, because they are thoroughly amused by that idea. (So I imagine.)

[Candy]

our cat has yet to play the keyboard though... :shhh: :shhh: ...

shucks..the link became inactive!!! just google 'pawsense' Candy
This is great, Mahesh! PawSense (http://www.bitboost.com/pawsense/) :dance: