*Worst* holliday song

[Fazor]

I'm not trying to be a hum-bug here, in fact now that I don't work in a public lobby that blasts x-mas music on about a 15 song cycle, I don't mind it. But certain songs just rub me the wrong way. Not because of any religious or holiday issues, but just because they're flat-out annoying.

So what holiday song bugs you the most? For me, it's the one that goes "I want a hippopotomus for christmas". Mostly because the voice is soo shrill and piercing, yet it's one of those tunes that gets stuck in your head. And the radio station on here at work plays it at least 4 times a day. It just came on so I had to post this. While i was typing it ended, and the one that i hate second most came on. Go figure. Oh well, sing on you crazy carollers.

[Vermonter]

In my own opinion, the Christmas songs sung by Country singers are horrible...

[pghnative]

I've become very tired of Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"

[Dragon Star]

The BK Holiday Song is by far the worst...so much so it's awesome.:cool:

[Moose]

I have a particular dislike for anything Bonny Em, but only because of overplay so over-the-top, courtesy my father, that I really believe the Geneva Convention should have kicked in at some point back then.

But for the worst, anything off of the Star Wars Christmas Album. Although I still have a slightly softer spot for "What Do You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb)"

Does anybody know what the title and artist of the christmas song about Snoopy's encounter with the Red Baron? It's been getting some radio play around here, but I've been unable to catch the title/artist so far.

[Edit: Never mind. Found it. Snoopy's Christmas, by the Royal Guardsmen, from the album "Snoopy's Christmas".]

[Doodler]

I've become very tired of Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"

Can I get an 'amen'?


I cannot stand most Christmas music. I'm tired of hearing the same regurgitated crud played every year like clockwork. Its almost to the point I want to curse the day Irving Berlin was born.

[Graybeard6]

"Snoopy's Christmas" by the Royal Guardsmen. Lyrics are here: http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/snoopys.htm

[Moose]

"Snoopy's Christmas" by the Royal Guardsmen. Lyrics are here: http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/snoopys.htm


Thanks, Greybeard, just found it myself. It's catchier than it has any real right to be. *chuckle*

[Jigsaw]

The Christmas Muzak I dislike the most is the by-the-numbers covers of assorted Christmas standards by artists who apparently were told by their A & R guy, "But you have to have a Christmas album! Everybody has a Christmas album!" So they dutifully cobble together a Christmas album, with "Sleigh Ride" and "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" and "Blue Christmas", and for the country artists, a couple of authentic Christmas carols (that's to show their "roots" :rolleyes: ), and then they send it out to Wal-Mart. And they've got absolutely nothing musically and interpretation-wise to say other than, "Hey, here's my Christmas Album!"

[MrClean]

I don't think you should limit it to certain renditions of a song as some are good. But in any iterations I've never liked 'The little Drummer Boy'.

BLeck!

[Moose]

I don't think you should limit it to certain renditions of a song as some are good. But in any iterations I've never liked 'The little Drummer Boy'.

Agreed. The song's always depresses me somewhat. I know the lyrics now, but when I was a kid, I'd misunderstood the song. The part that goes "I played my best for him" always sounded like a plea of desperation from an abused child to me, and the feeling I had as a kid persists to this day.

And just in case someone's reading a bit too much into that, let me assure you that no, it's not Freudian in any way. I had a good childhood as far as family is concerned. My folks didn't always understand me, but they usually tried. (School was another story, but it had nothing to do with Drummer Boy Blues.)

[Parrothead]

Thanks, Greybeard, just found it myself. It's catchier than it has any real right to be. *chuckle*

LOL! I have a Canadian version, an lp "The Story of Snoopy's Christmas and other favourite children's songs" featuring The Quiet Jungle, put out by Arc Sound in Toronto (late 60's/early 70's).

[paulie jay]

Any version of "Jingle Bells" which is done in a big-band-aren't-I-such-a-hep-cat style.


And the Michael Bolton version of Little Drummer Boy is pure agony...

[Ronald Brak]

I recently saw Carol of the Old Ones on Youtube, but I won't link to it in case it is too scary for this board.

[Maksutov]

Let's see, how do I keep this list short?

Well, for starters, when I hear the fist xmas carol in a store, usually around late September or early October, I check the calendar and start counting down the days until December 26th.

Now for the short list:

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year...pure, yuppified, holiday glop, it'll make your eggnog turn sour. Guess what, for many people this is the worst time of the year, but the yuckies don't care.
Little Drummer Boy...remarkably maudlin, rhythmically obnoxious.
Feliz Navidad...driven into the ground, waiting for the Weird Al version: Police Nabbed Me Dad!
Winter Wonderland...would be much better if the lyrics went, "Later on we'll perspire, as we sweat by the fire..."
All the traditional ones, especially Silent Night, which I was forced to sing in front the 4th grade before my voice changed.
Holly Jolly Christmas...man, what an awkward rhyme!
White Christmas...written by Israel Isidore Baline, 'nuff said.
Twelve Days of Christmas...how to get tired of xmas in just a few stanzas.Well, that's the short list. Whole bunch more on the long list.

About the only one I can stand more than once is The Carol of the Bells, which I believe is stolen from a Ukrainian folk song. Although the rhythm gets monotonous, at least it's in G Minor and without the words fun to invent counterpoint to.

http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/8203/carolofthebellsvi1.th.jpg (http://img219.imageshack.us/my.php?image=carolofthebellsvi1.jpg)

Oh yeah, and it wouldn't be xmas without my favorite, White Trash Christmas (http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/downloads/whitetrash.asp)! WARNING! Contains what could be considered adult material by some, and the author was obviously a charter member of G.R.O.S.S. (http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=16815054791022892635)!

[Tog_]

14 years in a grocery store running the Muzak system, so no words for about 11 of those years.
Christmas music starts at on minute after midnight when the day hits Friday after Thanksgiving, and runs til New Years' Day.


There are many songs I hate with the power of lemons (15 points to get that reference), but by far, the most annoying ever in the entire history of recorded sound is the Muzak instrumental version of The Twelve Days of Christmas. Sing it with me now...

Da... da-da da da
Da... da-da da da
Da... da-da da da
Da... da-da da da
Da... da-da da da
Da... da-da da da
Da... da-da da da
DAAAAAAAA Da-aa DAHHHHHH
(Da da da da da)
Da... da-da da da
Da Da da
Da-a Da-da da
Dah da da-dahhh da da da daaaaaaaaa dahhhh.

Of course it starts at the beginning and does the entire song, or at least it used to.

Oh, and once we got Muzak with words there was this depressing little thing that sort of sounded like Judy Garland that whined something for about 3 minutes with the drawn out bleat, "what is Christmas with nooooOOOOOOoooooo snooooooOOOOOOooooowwww?" about every third line. Pretty sure that one was put out by the Prozac people to increase sales.

Actually, there is one Christmas song I really like, but I have no idea what it's called. I only know the SNL parody lyrics from it.

Too many bells
Please stop the bells
So many bells
Can't take the bells

Oh, and forgot the musical irony that is Stevie nicks screeching Silent Night...

[farmerjumperdon]

The Christmas Muzak I dislike the most is the by-the-numbers covers of assorted Christmas standards by artists who apparently were told by their A & R guy, "But you have to have a Christmas album! Everybody has a Christmas album!" So they dutifully cobble together a Christmas album, with "Sleigh Ride" and "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" and "Blue Christmas", and for the country artists, a couple of authentic Christmas carols (that's to show their "roots" :rolleyes: ), and then they send it out to Wal-Mart. And they've got absolutely nothing musically and interpretation-wise to say other than, "Hey, here's my Christmas Album!"

Used to collect albums; mostly stuff I like, but have a few that I grabbed because of their wierdness. Some are Christmas albums that are a real hoot. I like Christmas music, as long as it is a good mix. Worked in a shop once that played an 8-track (go ahead, get the relic jokes out of the way) of about a dozen songs over and over and over for the 2 weeks before Christmas. Talk about mind control.

[kylenano]

How about sheep 'singing' Jingle Bells? ;)

Festive return for singing sheep (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/6174895.stm) has a clip.

The full length version is here: Baarmy Sheep (http://www.golakes.co.uk/xmasbaarmysheep/)

[gethen]

I Saw Three Ships (http://www.hymns.me.uk/i-saw-three-ships-christmas-hymn.htm). Always hated it. The lyrics are the worst, IMHO.

[farmerjumperdon]

I've got The Chipmunks Christmas album. Seemed cute then, and maybe is still cute for about a song or two. After that it starts to become annoying. After three days, I'm ready to move onto the barn. Forced to choose between a non-heated living area and one more time of Dave Screaming ALLLLLLLLLLLLVINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! I choose the former.

[MAPNUT]

Are you kidding! The Chipmunks album is classic! The only collection of all-secular Christmas music I like. Of course it's probably for sentimental reasons because I enjoyed it with my kids. We have the actual 45-year-old LP that I listened to when I was a kid.

Now that my children are all grown up and cynical, one of them brought home "Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire", a spoof which sounds exactly like Nat King Cole but isn't, in which Alvin gets it. Some may rejoice.

Seriously, why doesn't it occur to people who run businesses that customers may be getting tired of hearing the same songs every time they venture out in public?

[V-GER]

The most depressing song ever, period, is a Finnish Christmas song called "Varpunen jouluaamuna" or "Sparrow on a Christmas morning." It's about a sparrow whose freezing(on a Christmas morning, obviously) meets its dead little brother and eventually dies itself. I get all choked up just by thinking about it.

It truly is the darkest time of the year...

[pghnative]

I don't think you should limit it to certain renditions of a song as some are good. But in any iterations I've never liked 'The little Drummer Boy'.

BLeck!Have you ever heard the David Bowie / Bing Crosby rendition? You might change your mind...

[Doodler]

Have you ever heard the David Bowie / Bing Crosby rendition? You might change your mind...

If there were ever an odd couple...still, they did an excellent job of it.

[SeanF]

I don't think you should limit it to certain renditions of a song as some are good. But in any iterations I've never liked 'The little Drummer Boy'.
Forget Crosby/Bowie - ever heard Joan Jett and the Blackhearts' version? :D

Since nobody's mentioned it, allow to me to vote for Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.

Hate it.

[Maksutov]

[edit]Actually, there is one Christmas song I really like, but I have no idea what it's called. I only know the SNL parody lyrics from it.

Too many bells
Please stop the bells
So many bells
Can't take the bells

...See The Carol of the Bells in my post above.

[Tog_]

See The Carol of the Bells in my post above.
Ahh, thanks. I figured those little dots and squiggles meant something, but not to me.:)

[Parrothead]

Forget Crosby/Bowie - ever heard Joan Jett and the Blackhearts' version? :D

Since nobody's mentioned it, allow to me to vote for Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.

Hate it.

I actually enjoy Johnny Cash's version of "Little Drummer Boy". I don't mind "Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer" the flipside, of the 45 I have, is worse, it has the Rovers singing "Merry Bloody Xmas".

[Celestial Mechanic]

This observation doesn't quite fit here, since I like this song, it's just a quibble about the lyrics.A child, a child, shivers in the cold,
Let us bring him silver and gold,
Let us bring him silver and gold.It takes every bit of self-control I can muster to keep from yelling out, "How about a nice warm blanket you morons!" :lol:

Were the lyrics originally in French? Maybe something got lost in translation.

[Roving Philosopher]

Christmas Shoes :evil:

To balance that out, I recommend Rusty Chevrolet (http://www.hymnsandcarolsofchristmas.com/Hymns_and_Carols/rusty_chevrolet.htm)

[Frantic Freddie]

Feliz Navidad...driven into the ground, waiting for the Weird Al version: Police Nabbed Me Dad!


Bob Rivers did it,"Police stopped my car"

[Gruesome]

I don't think you should limit it to certain renditions of a song as some are good. But in any iterations I've never liked 'The little Drummer Boy'.

BLeck!

I second that. The song is just terrible. Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum this.

[peteshimmon]

There was a terrible Christmas dirge released
some years ago. It would have been more to the
point if the lyrics urged folk to buy it to give
the singer his Christmas bonus! I will not
identify on the basis no publicity is bad
publicity and also...its against the Christmas
spirit:) Lets turn this round. Mr Berlin wanted
his composition performed by people in swimsuits
around a Californian pool. Now that would have
been smug! It is still possible to like these
numbers if performed really well with a good
production. And there are some that seem long
forgotten. So it might be nice to hear "Little
Donkey" by Nina and Frederick again. For a few
times!

[peter eldergill]

There is a really annoying one by Paul Macartney

"A Wonderfull Christmas Time" perhaps? Repeats, repeats, repeats, repeats and then repeats some more.

I don't know why some retailers just say, enough is enough and limit the amount of Christmas crap they play.

I wouldn't mind so much except that WE CAN'T TURN IT OFF!

Don't feel like listening to Christmas music? Too BAD! can't turn it off!

I honestly could vent for a lot longer, but I have to go teach my physics class

Pete
Pete

[Tog_]

A bunch of 80s pop stars got together to form the group Band-Aid to raise mony for hunger relief in Ethiopia. The song (Do They Know it's Christmas) itself doesn't annoy me, but I do have two issues with it...

1. The title. Do they know it's Christmas? Who knows? I bet they don't care though, as it's not a predominantly Christian country.

2. This bit of lyrics:
"And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring
There are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you"

That just oozes compassion. That's always bugged me.

[Moose]

I think, Tog, that line was more than a little sarcastic and accusatory. Sort of a spur to those who refuse to help because "what's in it for us?"

[Larry Jacks]

My top nomination goes to that stupid "song" of dogs barking "Jingle Bells." Whomever put that together deserves to be stoned to death. Anyone who plays it deserves to be burned at the stake. Last weekend, I heard another one with cats. It's just as bad. Oh, and 99.999% of little kids (and pretty much that percentage of adults) shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a microphone.

[Lord Jubjub]

Ya know, the dogs and cats were funny the first time . . . about 40 years ago. Anyone know whose idea it was to tune dog barks?

[mercury728]

[
Since nobody's mentioned it, allow to me to vote for Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.

Hate it.[/QUOTE]

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer has my vote also for worst. David Bowie/Bing has my vote for best.

[mercury728]

My top nomination goes to that stupid "song" of dogs barking "Jingle Bells." Whomever put that together deserves to be stoned to death. Anyone who plays it deserves to be burned at the stake. Last weekend, I heard another one with cats. It's just as bad. Oh, and 99.999% of little kids (and pretty much that percentage of adults) shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a microphone.

Don't listen to the Mark & Brian radio program! It's on in the am, always brings a chuckle on the way to work, and almost glad to get to work!:lol:

[Celestial Mechanic]

There is a really annoying one by Paul McCartney: "A Wonderful Christmas Time" perhaps? Repeats, repeats, repeats, repeats and then repeats some more. [Snip!]
John Lennon and George Harrison are only metabolically challenged. Sir Paul has been creatively dead for 35 years. This song is a case in point.

[Trebuchet]

During this time of year when the station we normally listen to has changed over to all Christmas music, all day long, my wife has tuned to a country/western station. Without which I'd not have been treated to "Santa got a Semi" and "Leroy the Redneck Reindeer". I could have gone a long time without that.

[Space Chimp]

"Santa Baby" by Madonna...or anyone. I just wanna nuke the radio whenever it comes on.

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me
I've been an awful good girl
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa baby, an out-of-space convertible too, light blue
I'll wait up for you dear.....AAARRRRRGGGHHH! That kewpie doll voice. :sick:

[Nicolas]

Too many bells
Please stop the bells
So many bells
Can't take the bells

Well, I and more than 10.000 other people didn't mind them at all in Tubular Bells last Saturday ;).

[Maksutov]

Well, I and more than 10.000 other people didn't mind them at all in Tubular Bells last Saturday ;).Sorry about your hearing loss, Nicolas.

Hope there's a cure.

What?

[Jakenorrish]

Over in the UK every year, we get the same songs played over and over again for two months. They include the (already mentioned) annoying Paul McCartney Wonderful Xmas, Slade Here it is Merry Xmas, Jona Lewie Stop the Cavalry, Pretenders 2000 Miles, East 17 Stay Another Day etc, etc...... AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHRRRRRRR! Christmas would be so much better without them!

There was only ever one good Christmas song released. It was by the Pogues and called 'Fairytale of New York' IMHO.....

[Nicolas]

Sorry about your hearing loss, Nicolas.

Hope there's a cure.

What?

Speak up! ;)

It was very nice actually, also the other artists. And it is a unique experience to see so many Germans singing praise and glory over England. Don't mention the war ;).

Seriously, it was an excellent evening with a good atmosphere and a very friendly audience. You don't need to go there to see the best classical concert ever -at all-, but that's not what they aim for anyway. They got some artists on stage which you don't often see these days, in an usual setting, and it was a professional show.

But to answer your question, The Cure wasn't there. They had OMD though. :).

---------
How about some Christmas songs we do like?

[Donnie B.]

I'd like to second the nomination of "Santa Baby" (any version). Can anyone think of anything that's less in the Christmas spirit than that travesty?

I seem to be hearing a lot of it this year, too, for some unfathomable reason.

[Fazor]

I knew there would be a lot of great replies :) Lots and lots of horrible songs, good job folks!

I'd like to second the nomination of "Santa Baby" (any version). Can anyone think of anything that's less in the Christmas spirit than that travesty?

I seem to be hearing a lot of it this year, too, for some unfathomable reason.

Yeah, something always bugged me about a woman trying to come on to santa...for two reasons. one, the thought of some "sultry" or whatever woman wanting an old fat man is gross (sorry to all you old fat baut'ers, if it helps i'm young and fat lol). But moreso I hate that it just applauds the idea of pretending to want someone to get them to give you something. verry x-mas spirity indeed...

I hate that every "classic" x-mas song has 1000 different versions by different singers so that by the end of the day, you've heard the same half-dozen songs 100 times each.

[Doodler]

Yeah, something always bugged me about a woman trying to come on to santa...for two reasons. one, the thought of some "sultry" or whatever woman wanting an old fat man is gross

Its a rare breed o' babe, but they're SO worth living for. ;)

[SeanF]

There is a really annoying one by Paul Macartney

"A Wonderfull Christmas Time" perhaps? Repeats, repeats, repeats, repeats and then repeats some more.
I provide this timely link (http://www.tbt.com/entertainment/news/article33347.ece) just for you, Pete. :)

[peter eldergill]

Thanks Sean...now it's stuck in my head...AND I HEARD IT 15 MINUTES AGO IN CANADIAN TIRE...AAARRRGGGHHHH

(This time ALLCAPS (tm) does mean the statement is true)

Pete

[ktesibios]

I don't think you should limit it to certain renditions of a song as some are good. But in any iterations I've never liked 'The little Drummer Boy'.

BLeck!

Couldn't agree more. Not only is that possibly the most insipid Christmas song ever written, it's got to be the stupidest premise for one in all history.

I mean, imagine the scene...

There's the family in the stable. They've got a newborn baby. Mom has just had to put up with traveling a long distance by foot and donkey, while nine months pregnant, in the winter. To top it all off, she's just given birth, and she had to do it in a stable because her schlemiel of a husband couldn't even get them a room.

This would be a woman exhausted beyond human endurance.

So there she is, having finally gotten the baby to sleep, inhaling the festive aromas of ox and donkey dung, perhaps idly wondering if she'll get puerperal fever and die (it's a good thing the germ theory of disease was unknown in those days, or she'd have had reason to be even more upset about the giving-birth-in-a-stable thing), and what happens?

First these three weird guys show up wanting to see the baby. At least they were thoughtful enough to bring some useful presents- gold, and some nice strong incense that would probably improve the stable some- and they probably have the tact to be quiet around the baby. But then...

Some little idiot show up and plays a @#$% DRUM SOLO!

WHAP! BAP!
BAPITTY BAPITTY BAPITTY WHAP BADABADABADA BAP!

And the next thing to be heard would be:

WHAAA! WHAAA! WHAAAAAAAAA! *hhhh* WHAAAAAAAA!

Okay, as an old sound man I'll admit that drummers are my natural enemy. Even so, I think it's clear what kind of eternal reward that specimen of the breed would be booked for.

[Nicolas]

as an old sound man I'll admit that drummers are my natural enemy.

I'm pretty sure that percussion are the oldest instruments though. :)

[Fazor]

I completely forgot about this one: Little Saint Nick.

It's not a bad song; i love the beach boys and thier beach-boysie sound. But then it gets to the part where the big dumb guy in the background says "Christmas comes this time each year" and that's such an inane, stupid, completely pointless line it makes me just want to beat him senseless. Of COURSE christmas comes this time each year, that's like saying my birthday comes the same time every year or summer starts the same time every year. BLARGH! ruins the whole song. doesn't help that he keeps repeating it over and over. oh well.

edit: Note, i don't know if the singer that does that line is actually "big and dumb" but that's how he sounds and that's how i picture him in my head (actually as the blonde assistant from the Coach show, also the voice of patrick star on spongebob hehe). So that's how i describe him.

[Spock Jenkins]

I would like to nominate, "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus". I suppose it would be cute to watch your own child sing a solo - but hearing other peoples kids sing just doesn't sound appealing to me. That, and I just don't like the lyrics.

As for an all time favorite: "Oh, Holy Night". I've heard a couple bad versions, but when it's done well - it's a powerful song. At my in-laws church - one of the priests always opened up Christmas Mass with that song. He had a very powerful baritone voice.

[SeanF]

As for an all time favorite: "Oh, Holy Night". I've heard a couple bad versions, but when it's done well - it's a powerful song.
Have you heard this version (http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000570.php)?

BTW, "Oh, Holy Night" is my wife's absolute favorite Christmas song. Her response to this version was honest respect for the guy's attempt. "If you're going to try to sing this," she said, "you've got to go all out." :)

[Doodler]

As for an all time favorite: "Oh, Holy Night". I've heard a couple bad versions, but when it's done well - it's a powerful song. At my in-laws church - one of the priests always opened up Christmas Mass with that song. He had a very powerful baritone voice.

Cartman or nothing. :D

[Moose]

Cartman or nothing. :D

Just what I was thinking, Doodler. :)

[Spock Jenkins]

Have you heard this version (http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000570.php)?

BTW, "Oh, Holy Night" is my wife's absolute favorite Christmas song. Her response to this version was honest respect for the guy's attempt. "If you're going to try to sing this," she said, "you've got to go all out." :)

Nice. I had to bail early on it though - I was nearing an uncontrollable laughing fit at the office.

[SeanF]

Nice. I had to bail early on it though - I was nearing an uncontrollable laughing fit at the office.
Well, if you get a chance, check out the whole thing. One of the best parts is the last note in the song, where he actually stops and takes a breath in the middle of the note. :)

[Moose]

Oh. My. Goddard. According to that site, this is supposed to be a serious audition??? *lol*