Dear Mr. JayUtah....

[BigDon]

"The beauty of that discussion of averages is that you don't have to be an expert in Apollo or in photography in order to see where this time study "analysis" breaks down. You just have to be, well...not an idiot." -JayUtah

"Hardly anything about MarsRevealer's rants have been about space. They're all diatribes against me, the Bad Astronomer, Richard Hoagland, and whoever else doesn't agree with him at the moment. You can pretty much replace "Mars" with "Cheez Whiz" in all his posts without changing the evidentiary or rhetorical content." - JayUtah

Dear Mr. Utah,

if you continue to persist in making my client expell hot coffee from his nose at unguarded moments we shall have no choice but to take you to court to sue for monetary damages for damaged computer equipment, clean up costs, and pain and suffering.

Sincerely, Moe Howard, law offices of Dewey, Cheatam, and Howe

[sarongsong]

Don't forget those dry-cleaning costs! :)

[Frantic Freddie]

Dear Mr. JayUtah:

If you're ever in the neighborhood all your drinks are on me :D

[Dragon Star]

Dear Mr. JayUtah:

If you're ever in the neighborhood all your drinks are on me :D

Literally.

[davidlpf]

Dear Mr. JayUtah:

If you're ever in the neighborhood all your drinks are on me :D
Ditto

[Noclevername]

If you're ever in town, all my drinks are on you. ;)

[davidlpf]

If you're ever in town, all my drinks are on you. ;)
good I wear a rain jacket.

[Celestial Mechanic]

[Snip!] Dear Mr. Utah,

If you continue to persist in making my client expell hot coffee from his nose at unguarded moments we shall have no choice but to take you to court to sue for monetary damages for damaged computer equipment, clean up costs, and pain and suffering.

Sincerely, Moe Howard, law offices of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe
That's one reason why I put a Food and Beverage Warning at the beginning of some of my posts. ;)

[Maksutov]

Big Don, good to see you again. Who nose what things may happen when reading the BAUT? [Flip Wilson mode]De shadow know![/Flip Wilson mode]

Please be aware that any further unexplained disappearances will be considered a breach of baut contract. In such a case, you will be contacted by my legal firm of Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel, and their representative in such cases, Atty. Baravelli, who will determine why your sister is a very sick man and will probably subject you to an interrogation similar to this one:Baravelli: [through speakeasy's door] Who are you?
Professor Wagstaff: I'm fine, thanks, who are you?
Baravelli: I'm fine too, but you can't come in unless you give the password.
Professor Wagstaff: Well, what is the password?
Baravelli: Aw, no. You gotta tell me. Hey, I tell what I do. I give you three guesses. It's the name of a fish.
Professor Wagstaff: Is it Mary?
Baravelli: Ha-ha. That's-a no fish.
Professor Wagstaff: She isn't? Well, she drinks like one. Let me see: Is it sturgeon?
Baravelli: Hey, you crazy. Sturgeon, he's a doctor cuts you open when-a you sick. Now I give you one more chance.
Professor Wagstaff: I got it. Haddock.
Baravelli: That's-a funny. I gotta haddock, too.
Professor Wagstaff: What do you take for a haddock?
Baravelli: Well-a, sometimes I take-a aspirin, sometimes I take-a Calamel.
Professor Wagstaff: Say, I'd walk a mile for a Calamel.
Baravelli: You mean chocolate calamel. I like that too, but you no guess it. Hey, what's-a matter, you no understand English? You can't come in here unless you say, "Swordfish." Now I'll give you one more guess.
Professor Wagstaff: ...swordfish, swordfish... I think I got it. Is it "swordfish"?
Baravelli: Hah. That's-a it. You guess it.
Professor Wagstaff: Pretty good, eh?

[Michael Noonan]

That's one reason why I put a Food and Beverage Warning at the beginning of some of my posts. ;)

That is extremely decent of you Celestial Mechanic.

Would you have any standard type headers so that it could be a regular feature for those members who are known to cause coffee de-cough, de-sneezeration?

[davidlpf]

I would to sue, mike alexander, Maksutov, Neverfly, Bigdon, and few others to mentioned at a further date.

[Swift]

Better put down the drinks before this one
<snip>
Imagine going to the circus and looking up with amazement at the tightrope walker. It's natural to be incredulous at such feats. But it doesn't matter whether the ringmaster is a pedophile or whether the concession stand is watering down the soda. It doesn't change the fundamental physics of tightrope walking; nor does it constitute proof that the acrobat isn't really doing what he appears to do -- especially to the acrobat. To people who actually know about space exploration, your claims sound no more credible than: "My soda tastes flat, therefore you're not really walking the tightrope."
:D

[Neverfly]

I would to sue, mike alexander, Maksutov, Neverfly, Bigdon, and few others to mentioned at a further date.

What the heck you sueing ME for?!?!

[The_Radiation_Specialist]

Reminds me of the time Neverfly's post made me spit coffee all over my screen. Not because it was funny. I just sneezed at the wrong moment.

[Neverfly]

Reminds me of the time Neverfly's post made me spit coffee all over my screen. Not because it was funny. I just sneezed at the wrong moment.

Obviously, you are allergic to humor.

ETA: I might point out that if you just sneezed at the wrong moment, then Neverfly's post had nothing to do with it.

See swifts quote of JayUtah above please.

[JayUtah]

Thanks for the apprecation, guys! I feel more like I do now than I ever have before.

[Fazor]

Well, not to take anything away from you Jay, but it's the wig. Everythings funnier when said whilst wearing a powdered wig.

[peter eldergill]

Fazor I miss your old avatar...glaven

Pete

[Fazor]

:) I loved it, but Dave released his new album and IMHO it's amazing, so I changed it to a pic of him. Don't worry, I get tired of things pretty fast, so I'm sure it won't last that long.

[KaiYeves]

If you're in my neighborhood, can you talk to a few girls at my school who believe in fortune-telling. They're the Valley Girl type and won't listen to somebody like me.
If you do, gelato is on me.

[davidlpf]

What the heck you sueing ME for?!?!
for making me laugh so hard you contact my lawyers at the office of
Donaldson Ingels Norbert Goldstein Bartlett Anderson Tibbet and Smith.

[Noclevername]

The best way to avoid spitting coffee on your monitor while reading here is to drink tea.

[KaiYeves]

Donaldson Ingels Norbert Goldstein Bartlett Anderson Tibbet and Smith.
You could always call Frutlup and Nenesons.