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View Full Version : Hi. I am the main editor of an article and looking for advice to improve it.


kmarinas86
25-April-2008, 05:39 AM
This is the full article in question
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Energy_Machine_of_Joseph_Newman

The below is just the introduction. Any experts in English and Journalism are welcome to critique!

The Energy Machine of Joseph Newman is a singly-fed electric motor consisting a large electromagnet coiled around a rotor stacked with permanent magnets. The basic design is relatively simple: When the electromagnet (stator) is switched on, the magnet (rotor) spins end-over-end.[1] According to the claims of the inventor, Joseph Westley Newman, electrical charges are not "consumed" by the circuit of his machine, but rather, they move along the wires of the coil in such a way that when the circuit is cut open, a voltage spike from the mechanical commutation of the system is produced, sending charges back in the opposite direction with greater power (in this case VARs) than the wattage from the batteries. Therefore, unlike conventional DC motors, Newman Machines rely dangerous high-voltage inductive back spikes for motive power.[2]

Newman's attempt to patent the device was rejected by the United States Patent Office. When the rejection was later appealed, the United States district court requested that Newman's machine be tested by the National Bureau of Standards, or NBS. An NBS test program was conducted to measure the root mean square voltage and current signals at the beginning (input) and the end (output) of the circuit using various experimental methods. The test results were published in June 1986 and concluded that the machine had a input power in excess of its output,[3] and the patent was again denied.[1] Newman later withdrew the patent.[3] The subject is controversial, with critics concluding that many of Newman's claims about electricity and magnetism are false and pseudoscientific.

hhEb09'1
25-April-2008, 06:25 PM
Any experts in English and Journalism are welcome to critique!
design is relatively simple: When No capital on "When". Should be "when"
(in this case VARs)Have we defined our TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms) :)
Newman Machines rely dangerousShould that be "rely on"? Not sure of the intended meaning.
National Bureau of Standards, or NBSTLA definition is often just included in parentheses, like this: "National Bureau of Standards (NBS)"
machine had a input powerShould be "an" instead of "a"

Amber Robot
25-April-2008, 06:44 PM
Too many (and misused) commas. (at least in the intro you posted - i didn't read the full article)

geonuc
25-April-2008, 06:50 PM
NBS is now the National Institute for Standards and Technology (NIST).

hhEb09'1
25-April-2008, 10:05 PM
The only too excessive commas I notice are the but rather ones :)

Amber Robot
25-April-2008, 10:10 PM
The only too excessive commas I notice are the but rather ones :)

Yeah, that was the one I noticed first. Ok.. maybe not too many commas, but certainly that one needs to be reworked.

HenrikOlsen
26-April-2008, 10:43 PM
Newman Machines rely dangerousShould that be "rely on"? Not sure of the intended meaning.
Perhaps "really dangerous"?

hhEb09'1
27-April-2008, 01:31 AM
Perhaps "really dangerous"?Maybe, but then something would still be missing, right? The sentence still wouldn't make sense.

I mean, sense in the syntactical way :)

Mister Earl
28-April-2008, 03:39 PM
You may want to contact James Randi as well, for more information. Mr. Randi has spoken with Mr. Neumann personally. I believe you can email him via the following web form:
http://www.randi.org/joom/component/option,com_contact/task,view/contact_id,5/Itemid,3/

I'm certain you can get details from him regarding Mr. Neumann that you couldn't get anywhere else.