Dear helpful people,

[Jay200MPH]

Dear helpful people,

I have lived with summer allergies my whole life. I have them under control. I do not need your suggestions on how to deal with them. Especially if you have no clue what allergies are, and think I'm somehow sick. You would do me a much greater favour by simply not mentioning it and not making me explain over and over how I'm allergic to the pollens certain plants produce when in bloom, and then looking at me like I have three heads when I tell you it's normal, and I'm not sick.

That is all,

- J

NOTE: This isn't directed at members of this board. It is merely a vent. This is actually directed at certain co-workers of mine who can't seem to help but chime in with unhelpful "suggestions" every time I excuse myself to have a sneezing fit in the hall.

[geonuc]

And I'd like to thank all my co-workers that offer suggestions as to how to improve my chronic back pain.

Thanks, but no thanks. I don't care to repeatedly explain all the tests and procedures I've undergone that render these suggestions unhelpful. Besides, it's personal and none of your business.

[weatherc]

I'd like to thank everyone that comments on how I make my oatmeal in the morning at work.

Yes, I'm cooking my oatmeal in the microwave. Yes, I know there's a hot water tap on the coffee machine. The thing is, I don't make instant oatmeal, I make quick-cooking oatmeal, so the hot water tap just won't work for me, thanks. No, really, it won't. Really.

Yes, I have to watch the oatmeal very carefully as it cooks. I speak from experience: it is no fun cleaning up oatmeal when it climbs up the side of the container I'm cooking it in and spills over into the microwave.

Why the heck is everyone so interested in how I cook my breakfast, anyway?

[jokergirl]

I'd like to thank people for telling me I should eat breakfast.

Yes, I know we've all been taught it's the most important meal of the day.

I still get sick to my stomach if I eat anything within one hour from waking up. Give me my tea and glass of water and let me be.

[Delvo]

AKHCK! Flashbacks to co-workers at the job I left several months ago to return to school, giving me suggestions about my return to school and getting a job that's related to it while I'm at it and my subsequent career... even though I was the only person at that place who had already actually investigated it all!

[Fazor]

I'd like to thank people for telling me I should eat breakfast.

Yes, I know we've all been taught it's the most important meal of the day.

I still get sick to my stomach if I eat anything within one hour from waking up. Give me my tea and glass of water and let me be.

Wow, I thought that was just me (except for me it's about a 2-3 hour buffer...though I've found it's more about "active time" than "awake time"). When there's a family function, or visitors from out of state, they always want to have breakfast right away, then act like I'm anorexic if I say I don't want anything. I'd be considered obese by the way, though I still insist it's just round giggly muscle in my stomache...Point is, it's quite obvious that I love to eat, just not in the morning. Somehow that apparently makes me some sort of non-breakfast eating freak.

[jokergirl]

It's more common than you think. My boyfriend is the same.

"Have some breakfast!"
"No, thanks."
"You have to eat something!"
"I'd really rather not, thanks."
"Just something. A small piece of bread."
"Mom, I get sick."
"Some yoghurt maybe?"
"NO, THANKS!"

Repeat ad nauseam (either by giving in and eating something or mom getting grumpy at me for not eating). This has been going on all my life (well, until I moved out anyway) so you'd think she would have caught on by now.

And people wonder why I'm so grumpy in the morning...

[BigDon]

For a certain person who tried to help me with the gardening after downing a half pint of brandy, trod on my rare suculents, then called me "ungrateful" when I told you to get the hell out of here, know this, if it weren't for the fact you're in your mid-fifties my foot and your butt would have had a major impact event.

[Jay200MPH]

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who has to suffer these fools. Misery loves company and all that.

Fun fact: this thread was inspired by a rather self-absorbed 'friend' who, after hearing me sneeze this morning, proceeded to corral me for twenty minutes in my own office to blather about some Nepalese herbal remedy he used when he had a cold in 1980. I may have been a little annoyed.

- J

[mike alexander]

Sometimes I deliberately write in sentence fragments. When both people and machines point this out I get angry. And turn green.

[BigDon]

Dammit Mike pick an avatar already! Your hurting my brain!

[mahesh]

jokergirl...parents are the same the world over. i recall my mom too having similar reactions. and thinking i am hoity-toity grumpy. gives me a bit more rope now though.
now, my baby's left overs are delicious, with a cup of tea, of course.

[ciderman]

jokergirl & Fazor(& mahesh! been trying to post this for 5 minutes!), I also can't abide eating for a couple of hours after waking, & would like to sincearly thank those who maintain breakfast is the most important meal of the day (for everybody!) from the heart of my bottom.

Oh, & thank you to the avatar figits who mess with my head also.. ;)

[BigDon]

When I'm furniture moving I eat like a horse morning, noon and night. When I'm not, like now, I don't like to eat until 11 or so. Though coffee is my drink in the morning. Perked, not dripped.

[geonuc]

I may have been a little annoyed.

- J
This 'friend' - he's still among the living?

[Gillianren]

I'd like to thank all the people without medical training who know more about all my health conditions than I do. That "don't eat white potatoes, eat red potatoes" advice? Great. Thank you. St. John's Wort? Oh, no, it's not contraindicated for bipolar disorder at all. No worries. And, yes, I'll make a note to just cheer up.

I'd like to thank all the people who tell me not to care about movies or grammar or trivia. I'll just stop, then, shall I? I'm sure your interest in American Idol is much more important. I'll stop being interested in history, while I'm at it. Heck, I'll just change who I am entirely, just to suit you.

Oh, and special thanks to my mom. No, of course I didn't want to see my child two weeks ago, and no, you shouldn't've bothered to even tell me that you were going to. Yes, my apartment is hopelessly cluttered, and yes, I should get rid of my books. And, no, I didn't really want to see you for more than about seven hours after about seven years. Why would I?

[Cougar]

....a major impact event.

:lol:

[Cougar]

....shouldn't've....

Ah, the rare double contraction. The language LIVES!

[longsch]

I'd like to thank people for telling me I should eat breakfast.

Yes, I know we've all been taught it's the most important meal of the day.

I still get sick to my stomach if I eat anything within one hour from waking up. Give me my tea and glass of water and let me be.

Oscar was sitting on a park bench, munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'

Oscar replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'

The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'

Oscar answered, 'No, he minded his own <removed inappropriate language> business.

[Torsten]

Ah, the rare double contraction. The language LIVES!

A thing of beauty.

[trinitree88]

A thing of beauty.

is a joy forever. pete

[Matherly]

I'd like to thank all of those people who gave me thier opinion on getting an operation. If I decide to go ahead, I will get a doctor to do it!

( :shifty: all apologies to Bull Shannon)

[Frantic Freddie]

Gillian,my wife's a pharmacist & she gets advice on medications! :lol:

[mfumbesi]

Thank you to the guy at work who insist that I must fix a small dent on my car's rear bumper. I on the other hand I feel it gives my car a personality. Thank you sir..

[farmerjumperdon]

I'd like to thank all the people who do not come in until 9AM and allow me to work (and play) in peace and quiet. It is the most productive 2 1/2 hours of my day.

Seriously, thank you.

[weatherc]

I'd like to thank all the people who do not come in until 9AM and allow me to work (and play) in peace and quiet. It is the most productive 2 1/2 hours of my day.

Seriously, thank you.

Absolutely. I can get more done between 7:30 a.m. and 9:00 a.m. than most people do the rest of the day.

[Stuart van Onselen]

Yeah, I give thanks for the guy that asks me ten times a day how my work is progressing. I need the constant motivation of your nagging. The ceaseless interruptions to my train of thought simply allow me to try new ideas, as I never get to finish the current one. And the intense dread and frustration I feel every time you as much as walk past me, is itself motivating - I desperately want to finish this project ASAP, so I can leave this client entirely!

Secondly, my thanks to management, who give me plenty of rest-breaks by constantly calling meetings. I especially love those meetings called specifically to find out why I'm not getting any work done.

Yes, I am debating the relative merits of suicide vs serial homicide. Why do you ask? :(

[chrissy]

I would like to say thank you to the person who says my bad leg should be ok now, after all I have had three operations on it and it should be well, no you fool it isn't okay, if I was wanting your advice please go and do some training to be an orthopaedic surgeon and I might speak to you regarding this, otherwise keep your nose out of my business and let my real doctor do his job.

WOW! that felt good.

[Frantic Freddie]

I'd like to thank all the people who,over the course of my musical career,felt that they should tell us how to do our job:

Once during rehearsal at a club we had some feedback,so a guy sitting at the bar walked up with a napkin & said to our girl singer "Put this over your mic,it'll stop that noise".She told him to stuff it in his mouth,it'd stop his noise.

The guy that told me we should play "smooth & quiet"....hey fella,we're here to entertain people,not put 'em asleep.

All the people who,after telling us what a great band we were,requested a song we didn't know & on being told that loudly proclaimed "You guys suck!"

The people that request songs by female vocalists when it's obvious that we have no female vocalist.

All the people who scream for encores when it's 5 minutes to 2,then throw beer cans at us when we tell them they have to leave (over the years it only happened to me twice,mostly they just cuss at us).

I could go on.....

[Kaptain K]

"We never, ever, ever do anything nice and easy... we do it nice and rough...

Tina Turner

[SeanF]

...Once during rehearsal at a club we had some feedback,so a guy sitting at the bar walked up with a napkin & said to our girl singer "Put this over your mic,it'll stop that noise".She told him to stuff it in his mouth,it'd stop his noise...

...The people that request songs by female vocalists when it's obvious that we have no female vocalist...
Does your girl singer know she's not a female vocalist?

(BTW, I think her response to the napkin suggestion was great! :clap: )

[sarongsong]

Nelle: Dudley, you're on fire!
Dudley: Oh yeah, like I'm dumb enough to fall for that one. (http://www.tv.com/the-bullwinkle-show/dudley-do-right/episode/189931/summary.html) :)

[Fledermaus]

I want to thank all those people who tell me to wear colours as it would suit my pale skin better than black and I wouldn't look so pale and ill!

I like the way I look and have always looked this way! so deal with it and keep your opinions to your self!