I think we're all sick and tired of the same old conspiracy theories. We need new ones. This thread is for brainstorming new and better conspiracy theories.

Throw out some ideas. You don't need proof yet, that comes later.

1. America has had (and might still have) a secret and active manned space program.

2. The U.S. and U.S.S.R. several times in the past have attacked each other's unmanned satellites. The U.S. won this low-grade space war.

3. Scientists have discovered that the star Betegeuse is about to go supernova, and preparations are being made to save a small portion of the human race (the richest ones) by burrowing underground.

Work with me here. Let's get some better theories out to the public! (Tongue-in-cheek theories are acceptable.)

How about the one that flerridation is sapping the purity of our precious bodily fluids?

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"Facts are stubborn things." --John Adams
Clavius Moon Base

Heheheheh, I've heard about that one,that's why all I drink pure rain water... and pure grain alcohol. JDR

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Some try to tell me, thoughts they cannot defend,... - Moody Blues.

Is this the same burning issue as "flerridation"? Funny, my kids were "flerridated" and the only side effect I notice is that they have zero cavities!

They also appear to have a good supply of bodily fluids...go figure, huh?

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An open mind is like an open window...without a good screen you'll get all sorts of weird bugs!

Personally I've found that even my most imaginative attempts at formulating bogus conspiracy theories pale in comparison to actual conspiracy theories proposed from time to time.

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"Facts are stubborn things." --John Adams
Clavius Moon Base

There are some real doozies out there. I remember a couple of years ago some fellow on the LEMUR forum was completely convinced that the Masons and the Mormons had their own space shuttle fleet and were making trips to the moon! Jay, do you remember that guy? So far, that fellow's "conspiracy theory" is the most *unusual* I've ever come across.

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An open mind is like an open window...without a good screen you'll get all sorts of weird bugs!

I dunno. "The Royal Family are Lizards" still stands out for me. (Wording from a list of top ten conspiracies rated by web activity -- can't remember the study or the agency doing it).

Of course, claiming that inflation, cancer, and war are all the result of entities imprisoned in volcanos by an evil galactic overlord... Well, that one has a bit of a following, too.

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"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Huh? So you are referring to reverse-engineered "proof"? I think you've identified the key problem with CTs, they use the "buckshot" approach: if there really are 10 active conspiracies going on, and you posit 1,000, you might actually come pretty close to one of the 10 just by random chance! But of course this treats CTs as entertainment, so gravitates toward the most absurd ones, thereby reducing the chances of ever being right. I'm sure the real conspirators sleep easier knowing that so many people are actively creating a smokescreen of ridiculous conspiracies, while the public is completely oblivious to the ones that are quite obviously playing out right before their eyes.

I always found the "World War II bomber found on Moon" one to be very plausible......

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"For ignorance to reign, all it takes is for knowledgable people to say nothing"

Lonewulf

Particularly when it was replaced by a London bus...

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If our brains were simple enough for us to understand, we'd be so simple we couldn't

QQR

... and both the bomber and the bus would have been about 100 miles long, judging by the scale of the lunar surface in the pictures....

Actually, thinking about it, wasn't the London bus in Antarctica?

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"The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common: They don't alter their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views." The Doctor, Doctor Who: The Face of Evil.

Moore, you are not fooling us. You are bringing this up for the sole purpose of distracting us from looking into the real conspiracies we already have identified. Who sent you? The Illuminati?

Here's a few:

* We are all aliens, left here on Earth by a wave of colonisation a million years ago, and have since forgotten our ancestry. (Supporting evidence... err, I'll get back to you.)

* The Garden of Eden was actually Venus, and we ruined it through runaway greenhouse, and the memory of this has been distorted into legend. (Supporting evidence... leave that one with me for now)

* The pyramids were part of a Egyptian "Cape Canaveral" launch complex, the Sphinx contains an ancient liquid oxygen tank, but the Authorities refuse to allow the Sphinx to be drilled to confirm this finding as they want the tourist revenue.

* Stonehenge has been tested by 'independent researchers' and has been found to be made of Moon rock. Local legends claim the original religious rites were all Moon-centred, but the monument itself pre-dates the neolithic by millions of years. How was the knowledge of this connection transmitted to Neolithic people? (Supporting evidence... a drunk bloke in a pub in Wiltshire.)

* Neanderthals taught the - initially much more primitive - Homo Sapiens the rudiments of language, art, hunting and tool-making, but before they were able to pass on to us their highly sophisticated moral and behavioural codes, they were rounded up and executed by their uncontrollable proteges, and the evidence of their own civilisation was totally destroyed by us. This fact has been supressed by Governments fearful of the impact on the morale of our civilisation.

* The Valles Marineris is actually a giant strip-mine gouge.

* As Voyagers 1 and 2 have left the heliopause, their star trackers have both lost their locks and are confused by stellar signals that do not mach any ephemeris charts on earth. The only conclusion is that the heliosheath contains false star projectors placed there by aliens, designed to prevent us ever getting to the real stars. (I actually have loads of supporting evidence for this, but I'll type it later, a black helicopter has just landed outside.)

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"We need rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Why bother with conspiracy claims? Real life is much more interesting and entertaining.

It's funny. I find it far more interesting when the "bad guys" seem like normal people, as opposed to a stereotypical, black or white figure.

Conspiracy Theorists seem to see things in Black and White. The Government is black, the free public is White. Anything that's affiliated with the Government in any way is black, the free public is still white. Except when the free public disagrees with them, then they're either a "mistaken white", or a "paid-off black".

Meanwhile, when I look at reality, I have surprising understanding behind major figures. I've been researching into Hitler recently, for instance, and I've recently seen the movie "Downfall", which takes place April 1945, when Hitler killed himself and his empire was collapsing around him. He was surprisingly very human... also, when one looks into history, they can see why Hitler thought what he did. (I don't AGREE with him, I might add, I disagree with almost all of it, but it's interesting when you look into it).

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"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right." -- Thomas Paine

Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor. -- Heinlein

Creationists make it sound as though a "theory" is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night. -- Isaac Asimov

Agreed. Who needs to make up conspiracies when everyday the Alien love children of Burt Ward from the future are kidnapping derelict lounge-singers and fluoridating their underpants. If there's more than that going on in the world, I do not want to know!

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The views expressed are the febrile product of an overactive imagination of a person who in shadows sees the gyrating Elvis-like ghost of Leonid Brezhnev.

If you make Hitler, or anyone of his ilk, mostly non-human, you lose the important connection to what makes what he and his regime did so evil. These were human beings that did those atrocious things, based on various social and psychologial pressures. Hitler did not emerge from a vacuum to suddenly implement a master plan to destroy Jews. He was part of a long chain of human history and events. That he even was allowed to come to power shows the culpabilty of the German people at the time.

CJSF

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Two years ago moved from my town
I was looking up past the city lights
But the city lights got in my way

See the constellation ride across the sky
No cigar, no lady on his arm
Just a guy made of dots and lines

-from "See The Constellation"
by They Might Be Giants

Dehumanizing arch-villains creates the delusion that humanity is ensured against a repetition of that kind of villainy. In other words, if Hitler is a "monster" in the sense that his beliefs and actions lie so far outside the boundaries of humanity, then we lull ourselves into thinking that could never happen again. If Hitler is considered a deviant example of humanity, then we can more easily remain vigilant against further examples of deviance.

Categorical complacency -- i.e., the illusion of invulnerability arising out of one's membership in a class -- is particularly insidious. The notion, for example, that "Americans live in a democracy, therefore their civil rights are always guaranteed," denies the very essence of democracy in America as seen by the Founding Fathers; they believed that government would do all in its power to erode civil rights, and thus the populace is expected to act to safeguard them.

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"Facts are stubborn things." --John Adams
Clavius Moon Base

They didn't offer me enough. I work for . . . the phone company. (Bonus points to those remembering the James Colburn movie.)

The President's Analyst

I have it on DVD. Beware TPC! Their plan for world domination included a very nice bit of technological forecasting for a movie made in '67.

This was a great movie about '60s style paranoia.

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I say there is an invisible elf in my backyard. How do you prove that I am wrong?

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