I ran a search for this and didn't see it, sorry of it's been posted before.

***WARNING****IQ MAY DROP WHILE READING THE FOLLOWING***WARNING***


When The Illuminati Says Look Down, Look Up To Saturn For Radiation Shower That May Kill Billions
The Cassini Project is not fiction, as NASA has spacecraft orbiting the gaseous planet loaded with 72 pounds of plutonium ready to rock the heavens, rearrange the solar system and destroy planet Earth.
9 Jun 2006
By Greg Szymanski

http://www.arcticbeacon.com/9-June-2006.html

While the enemy within has Americans looking for nuclear and biological attacks coming from Al Qaeda, the real attack may really be coming from a spacecraft now orbiting Saturn.

As out of this world as it sounds, The New World Order NASA minions are "creating a new star using a plutonium bomb" with plans to hit Saturn with such force that the heavens will be rocked and the earth will be showered with radiation, wiping out life as we know it with one wild, magnanimous scientific brush stroke.

Sound outlandish and impossible? Sound like a science fiction movie?

But nothing is out of the realm of possibility for the evil Illuminati since their global plan, documented in numerous writings, include wiping out approximately 80 per cent of the world's population.

And what better way to create a rapture or great chastisement then by blowing up a gas giant like Saturn with 72 pounds of plutonium, create a new star and then heat-up the new star's moon, Titan, making it habitable by 2033 for guess who?

Yes, if you guessed Lucifer's followers, the Illuminati, then you guessed right.

And if you wondered if the project really exists then you guessed right again since it exists under the name of NASA's Cassini Project. To make matters even worse, the name Cassini is taken from a Jesuit-trained Italian astronomer named Cassini, giving researchers and historians another clue as to who really are the spiritual controllers of the New World Order.

Further, the project has been named the Lucifer Project since the intent of those behind it is to name the new star created from the plutonium explosion on Saturn, Lucifer. Also, an article at www.rinf.com without an author's name attached asked, "Why is creating a star from one of our gaseous giants commonly known as the "Lucifer Project"?

The potential star's name was first dubbed "Lucifer" by A.C. Clarke in his novel "2010". Lucifer is less of an actual deity and more of a concept representative of several ideas here. Lucifer, literally "light-bearer", represents rebellion, claiming god-ship, bringing enlightenment, and mastering knowledge. Lucifer is a symbol of casting off the overlord and trusting the light from within, the concept of breaking out of the subservient shell of "God's dominion" and claiming the universe as one's own to conquer. 20 21

http://www.rinf.com/news/nov05/lucifer-project.html

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I am the visual,
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that made lady sing the blues
Judo flip, chop chop chop

That's funny.

Wow. That's impressive. How do you "rock the heavens" exactly, I wonder?

Uhm, I thought the earth was going to be destroyed. Ok, not quite so bad as I was told.

I thought "life as we know it" was going to be wiped out. Things are looking up!


How do you blow up Saturn and turn it into a star at the same time? How do you blow up Saturn, rearrange the solar system, rock the heavens, destroy life as we know it on earth, and make Titan habitable?

(Also, it would be quite a trick making Titan habitable, given its atmosphere, but given the other issues, that would be redundant. By the way, I laughed out loud at this bit.)

The fiends! To think they would name a Saturn space probe after a famous astronomer that studied Saturn. It's horrible!

Of course, that was Jupiter, which had been turned into a star by arbitrarily advanced alien technology, by shrinking Jupiter and increasing its density. I'm sure that Clarke would know that a nuke, even a real one, would be completely irrelevant. But, hey, it sounds good, right?

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Disclaimer: Avatar is not an official NASA image and does not imply any specific interplanetary or interstellar capability.

The Leif Ericson Cruiser

That could just as well be straight from a parody website, especially the "evil Illuminati" part.

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Yes, I'm sure 72 pounds of non-fissionable plutonium would be just the right amount to detonate over one billion billion billion pounds of Saturn.

Did none of these people notice how conspicuously the Galieleo probe failed to do this with jupiter, despite the same predictions being made back then?

It's just a rather more extreme version of nuclear-phobia. Cassini has nuclear material onboard, therefore it must be part of some EEEEEEVIL plot....

Firstly I can't see anything orbiting that close to a star being very habitable, and secondly heating it will just turn Titan from a cold hydrocarbon covered wateland into a warm hydrocarbon covered wasteland. Where will the oxygen magically come from to make it habitable?

My god, they really just derived the name Cassini frmo a guy called Cassini? That's incredible....

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"The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common: They don't alter their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views." The Doctor, Doctor Who: The Face of Evil.

That is what the Huygens probe was for.

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If it's just us, it seems like an awful waste of space.
Contact Carl Sagan

http://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

Why, yes! Yes, it does! Not one I'd watch, admittedly . . . .

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

These people just don't comprehend (amongst many other things) the scale of the Solar System and what it takes to make a sun. If every nuclear weapon in existence were taken to Saturn and simutaneously detonated, it would hardly hiccup - though the cloud patterns may be more interesting for a few days. Saturn is immense but nowhere near large enough to sustain fusion, no matter how the Illuminati encouraged it.

Excellent!

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This is not an idea to be tossed aside lightly - it should be thrown with great force

Actually I'm thinking of sending a script in to SciFi, I'm hoping to get Bruce Campbell.

Seriously though, while reading this I thought, "One would have to be an absolute genius to come up with something this wrong."

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I am the stone that the builder refused
I am the visual,
the inspiration,
that made lady sing the blues
Judo flip, chop chop chop

If Sci-Fi doesn't take this, perhaps Comedy Central would?

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This is no fantasy. No careless product of wild imagination. - Jor-El

Godspeed, John Glenn. - Scott Carpenter

And these atomic bombs that science burst upon the world that night were strange even to the men that used them.
- H.G Wells, The World Set Free

To the conspiracy crowd, radiation is a big Boogey Man that inspires terror and death in all who encounter it. - JayUtah

i can feel the intelligence draining...

That has to be a joke, right?

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There is no dark side of the moon really, as a matter of fact it's all dark - Pink Floyd, The Dark Side Of The Moon

You obviously have much more faith in humanity than me, sticking around here and ApolloHoax.net and watching the various CTists and loonies will cure you of that quickly enough.

Please don't insult Comedy Central. These are the folks who bring us such classy movies as Dumb and Dumberer.

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Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by ignorance or stupidity.
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You do wonder. It's one thing to repeat the nuclear bomb nonsense, but the self-contradiction from statement to statement is another.

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I say there is an invisible elf in my backyard. How do you prove that I am wrong?

Disclaimer: Avatar is not an official NASA image and does not imply any specific interplanetary or interstellar capability.

The Leif Ericson Cruiser

Taking a look at the site its from http://www.arcticbeacon.com/ (which doesn't actually have the article at the linked location) I would say that it is probably not a satire or other form of humor.

Edit:
The correct link for the article quoted in the OP is http://www.arcticbeacon.com/articles/9-June-2006.html

I'm still trying to figure that out. From what I've seen so far I don't think it is.

__________________
I am the stone that the builder refused
I am the visual,
the inspiration,
that made lady sing the blues
Judo flip, chop chop chop

Well, they are the Illuminati - as in illumination. Maybe they want a second sun because they just need a night-light.

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At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

One Earth, One Sky - IYA 2009
All moderation in purple

alright, that's not a joke...

how unfortunate

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There is no dark side of the moon really, as a matter of fact it's all dark - Pink Floyd, The Dark Side Of The Moon

I wonder, what would be the pre-requisites to be a member of The New World Order NASA ?

I don't think my jaw muscles are working; I can't stop gaping.

Even when Arthur C Clarke came up with the idea (admittedly with unobtainium, rather than plutonium) I couldn't figure out how it could be done, since you'd have to increase Jupiter's mass by 75 times before it became a proper star.

Now this guy's saying that they're trying to do it with Saturn? Which is a third the size of Jupiter? with 75 pounds of plutonium? I'm not even sure you could make a decent dirty bomb with 75 pounds of plutonium.

It has to be a joke. Why else use Clarke's name for the new star?

EDIT: Just in case I get cornered on this, I should ask: is it actually possible to create a sustained fusion reaction in the atmosphere of a gas giant?

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There is a growing tendancy to think of Man as a rational, thinking being, which is absurd.- Marvin the Martian.

It's gotten to the point where careful investigation is needed just to tell parody from reality. I think that means reality is broken.- Noclevername.

Have you read the rest of the site? Its either for real or such a good parody as to be indistinguishable from the real thing.
Not unless you happen to be able to make fusion occur at far lower temperatures and pressures than is normally possible or you are able to compress the entire planet.

The monoliths increase Jupiter's density, allowing fusion at the core. Of course, if you can build devices that can transmute matter, replicate (and presumably repair) themselves, and therefore operate indefinitely, then you could just have them operate as millions of fusion reactors. No need to fiddle with a planet's density.

You could build a nuke with less than 75 pounds of plutonium 239. However, this is plutonium 238, which changes things considerably.

It is a joke, on many levels, but I don't think the writer realizes it.

No.

__________________
I say there is an invisible elf in my backyard. How do you prove that I am wrong?

Disclaimer: Avatar is not an official NASA image and does not imply any specific interplanetary or interstellar capability.

The Leif Ericson Cruiser

No, that's why they're gas giants. If it it was big enough to sustain fusion, it would be a star already.

__________________
This is not an idea to be tossed aside lightly - it should be thrown with great force

And even stars don't have sustained fusion in the upper atmosphere.

__________________
I say there is an invisible elf in my backyard. How do you prove that I am wrong?

Disclaimer: Avatar is not an official NASA image and does not imply any specific interplanetary or interstellar capability.

The Leif Ericson Cruiser

Occam fix your quote, Parallaxicality said that not me, I was just quoting it in order to answer it.

Didn't somebody (same people?) claim exactly same thing about Galileo and Jupiter?

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Fiction has to be plausible. Reality is under no such constraint.

As a person who was directly involved with the Cassini RTGs, it's nice to know I've been promoted to the exclusive ranks of the Illuminati.

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Many folks. Same deal re the Pu for Galileo as with Cassini. Now I've been implicated in helping attempts to turn two planets into suns.

Ah, the glory of it all.

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After Movies like "The Core" and "Sunshine" I can almost forgive them for this part.

However, even a layman should have the common sense to see the contradiction between "wipe out Earth" and "settle on Titan".
That's like detonating a Nuke in Los Angeles to kill the population of New York, to settle in Santa Barbara afterward.

Anyway, it's about 72 lb of 238Pu oxide.

While everybody knows we've already turned Jupiter into a star with Galileo, I'm surprised these geniuses, as well as the Hoaglandites, haven't noticed that we've already turned Earth into a star, what with the Transit 5BN-3 and Apollo 13 LM reentries. That would explain global warming, wouldn't it?

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"Slapping a guy on the head is just as funny now as it was eighty years ago."

If you like, I can send you the brochure from the last Membership Committee meeting.

Oops, what a min... I shouldn't have said that...

Never mind.

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