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Old 22-July-2007, 12:24 AM
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Default The One CT Theory (OCTT)

Johnny Carson used to promulgate the "One Fruitcake Theory." He proposed that someone, perhaps a century or more in the past, made a fruitcake, and that has been sent from one person to another at the holidays ever since, just passed on and on. You think you've seen other fruitcakes? That's packaging. And, of course, it is physically impossible to eat the one true fruitcake if you were crazy enough to try.

After seeing the same tired CT argument (a moon hoax claim) for the (hundredth?) time, I'd like to propose the "One Conspiracy Theorist Theory." There is only one CT, but he gets around a lot and is very good with disguises. The idea that there are multiple CTers is itself a conspiracy.

You have to admit - it makes more sense than many conspiracy theories!
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Old 24-July-2007, 09:12 AM
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And that one conspiracy theorist might be...?
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Old 24-July-2007, 09:30 AM
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It's Phil trying to drum up business. duh.
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Old 24-July-2007, 06:45 PM
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I believe there are either half a dozen at least, or else the one person's very good at disguising their posting style, which I think we can agree that few of them are. Compare David C/Rocky with Turbonium, and you'll see what I mean.
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Old 25-July-2007, 10:13 AM
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Quote:
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I believe there are either half a dozen at least, or else the one person's very good at disguising their posting style, which I think we can agree that few of them are. Compare David C/Rocky with Turbonium, and you'll see what I mean.
Well, I am willing to entertain the thought that they're clones with slight behavior differences. As I mentioned once in another thread, I think Attack of the CT Clones would be an excellent name for a movie.

Still, I don't think your mere claim is sufficient to disprove the OCTT.
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Old 25-July-2007, 10:16 AM
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And that one conspiracy theorist might be...?
Not me!
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Old 25-July-2007, 02:08 PM
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Me either. Definitely not me.



Although I do seem to be registered at an awful lot of forums where those CTists hang out...

*slaps hand over mouth* Oh what a giveaway!
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Old 25-July-2007, 03:24 PM
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I've thought of the idea a while ago, but rejected it because it's simply too outlandish.

Or maybe that's what they WANT us to believe...
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Old 25-July-2007, 09:18 PM
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it's the Freemasons..
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Old 25-July-2007, 10:36 PM
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I always thought it is Van Rijn's invisible elf!
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Old 31-July-2007, 03:30 PM
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It's Moonman, I know it is!
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Old 31-July-2007, 06:23 PM
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Or perhaps there is a Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory, something like this:

President Kennedy was assassinated because NASA knew it couldn't land on the moon because of the alien artifacts there. As a result, disgruntled government employees faked the 9/11 attacks in part to destroy the secret evidence stored in the Pentagon. Of course, the Jews are behind all of this because, well, they're behind everything along with their Illuminati friends in the Trilateral Commission and the Council for Foreign Relations. Of course, it's all Bush's fault somehow.

Did I miss anything?
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Old 31-July-2007, 06:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Jacks View Post
Or perhaps there is a Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory, something like this:

President Kennedy was assassinated because NASA knew it couldn't land on the moon because of the alien artifacts there. As a result, disgruntled government employees faked the 9/11 attacks in part to destroy the secret evidence stored in the Pentagon. Of course, the Jews are behind all of this because, well, they're behind everything along with their Illuminati friends in the Trilateral Commission and the Council for Foreign Relations. Of course, it's all Bush's fault somehow.

Did I miss anything?
No, but you might want to pack a few cherished posessions and move to some deep, dark part of the Congo--you just connected the final dots and exposed The Grand Unified Conspiracy(tm). The G-men are on their way as we speak! Oh what a brave martyr you are!
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Old 31-July-2007, 06:40 PM
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I think that theory needs some fleshing out. I don't see any references to the Shadow Government, the MIB, MJ-12, chemtrails, fluoridation, the 100 mpg carburator, ZPE/perpetual motion devices, the NAFTA Corridor, etc.
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Old 31-July-2007, 08:55 PM
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I think that theory needs some fleshing out. I don't see any references to the Shadow Government, the MIB, MJ-12, chemtrails, fluoridation, the 100 mpg carburator, ZPE/perpetual motion devices, the NAFTA Corridor, etc.

Now that I think of it, I didn't mention Pearl Harbor or the Mars Face either. Obviously, the Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory needs some work. This actually sounds like a fun topic for a thread.
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Old 31-July-2007, 09:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Jacks View Post
I think that theory needs some fleshing out. I don't see any references to the Shadow Government, the MIB, MJ-12, chemtrails, fluoridation, the 100 mpg carburator, ZPE/perpetual motion devices, the NAFTA Corridor, etc.

Now that I think of it, I didn't mention Pearl Harbor or the Mars Face either. Obviously, the Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory needs some work. This actually sounds like a fun topic for a thread.
Black helicopters, you have to have black helicopters.
AND YOU NEED TO USE MORE CAPS and more colors.

Meanwhile, this tool may be helpful.
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Old 31-July-2007, 09:38 PM
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Don't forget hte repeated exclamation points and mispilled words!!11!
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Old 31-July-2007, 09:45 PM
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Now that I think of it, I didn't mention Pearl Harbor or the Mars Face either. Obviously, the Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory needs some work. This actually sounds like a fun topic for a thread.
Someone already beat you to it. Although, as Swift has illustrated, you can tell that isn't a serious HB site because they used a spellchecker and the font size and color doesn't change throughout the article. Only paid stooges for the Establishment use good grammar and consistent typography
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Old 31-July-2007, 10:10 PM
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How about the Korean scientist who claims to have cloned a conspiracy theory?

Officially, they deny it.

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Old 01-August-2007, 01:47 PM
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Someone already beat you to it. Although, as Swift has illustrated, you can tell that isn't a serious HB site because they used a spellchecker and the font size and color doesn't change throughout the article. Only paid stooges for the Establishment use good grammar and consistent typography

I particularly like the bits about the people involved in the fake landings are now doing other things, like framing Martha Stewart, that Saudi "women" are aliens - the burkas hide the tentacles, and that the "fat guy who directed the Lord of the Rings movies" is going to fake the Mars program.
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Old 06-August-2007, 09:47 PM