Should have left the disclaimer off for realism...

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I don't believe in mathematics. Albert Einstein

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female. Desmond Morris.

Quantum analysis is scientific dithering

Professor Frink: My observations n'hey, n'hey, show the universe could be a torus Weh, uh, or toriod it may like the typewriters and bananas and the monkeys with big teeth the biting the screaming Mm-hai!

Homer: mmmmm... doughnuts!

I don't want to worry anyone but I believe the situation is far worse than anyone has so far imagined. The Mayans were WRONG, people! I have just checked every calendar I could find, including the Dilbert calender 2008 and the Far Side Daily Diary and the shocking news is... THEY ALL FINISH ON DECEMBER 31ST THIS YEAR!

Make preparations for the end days, people

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This is not an idea to be tossed aside lightly - it should be thrown with great force

Oh! What a relief. I won't have to worry about the January deadline of my current project at work. Deadline, hey, that's funny!

In fact, I'll take the rest of the year off, and run up my credit card having fun! Wine! Women! Keep the Song, gimme more Women!

Of course, were I to foolishly follow said course of action, I will be one very sad and sorry bunny come January. Hung over, divorced, jobless, so far in debt I'd never be able to pay it off (even if I weren't jobless), and with an uncomfortable rash in an unmentionable place.

I haven't seen it (though I'm probably going to be a few weeks or less before I do), but it doesn't have Bruce Willis, so that's good enough for me. Alas that my cousin's kid had to be in the bad one.

Well, of course! We can believe anything Morgan Freeman tells us unless we know for a fact that he's acting.

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

Great idea, we always wait to the last minute. I think I'll go dancing.

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At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

I'm sure Bill Gates has got it covered................

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Thank God for magnetism.

The Gates foundation was one of the sponsors of the Svalbard Global Seed Vault.

The TEOTWAWKI CTs consider that to be a dead giveaway.

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Join the Illuminati

LOL