Nope, nothing to see here. No, I am not carrying the extra-large economy size can of ant killer in the paper bag....move along, nothing to see here...

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"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it." — Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

441!!!! :)

Headline:

UN Extends Peace Feelers to Lunar Ant Colony


And I recommend substituting formic for acetic acid in your salad dressing.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

On a related note, the Lunar Ant Colony Queen has decided that the recent substitution of boric acid for acetic acid on her salad during a recent state dinner was an accident rather than an attempt on her life. Despite the death of her drone taster, she chalked up the incident to the lack of chemistry training of the chefs. She did admonish the Earth politicians for the typo in the welcome banner, stating simply that it should have said, "Welcome to Terra" instead of "Welcome to Terro". The Queen was observed to partake only of the food provided by her entourage after that point, and she declined to check into the special Lunar Ant Motel constructed as a goodwill gesture by S.C. Johnson & Son, Inc.

Despite wild claims by fervent animal rights advocates, no boars were harmed in the making of the boric acid used. The gerbils, on the other hand, suffered terribly.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

The NIH and various human rights advocacy groups continue to look into the possible human rights violations in the production of booric acid. The investigation, however, lacks fervor and has many detractors including "Interesting Times" proponents.

To demonstrate my power, I will now post a Slow Reply.







Darn.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

Torn From Today's Headlines!

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A person's name, or a mark representing it, as signed personally or by deputy, as in subscribing a letter or other document.

"Bring forth the Holy Hand Grenade!"

__________________
"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it." — Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

441!!!! :)

After it was realized that booric acid is made exclusively from boors, everyone agreed this was a net good thing and the investigation was dropped. Or perhaps drooped.


A new paper in Physical Review Letters J: Ants 'n Uncles argues that lunar craters were created by the collapse of large anthills, and that the early late bombardment hypothesis has to be replaced with a late early bombardment hypothesis. Extrapolating from the size of the anthills and the effects of lunar gravity, individual lunar ants are calculated to be 1.2+3.6 km long, and that the mandible of an average worker would be almost exactly average.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

Mike, I don't think you've allowed for the substandard deviation.

That's like a standard deviation, except it's not done properly.

"Cavorite is made from [snip] Helium [snip] [snip] [snip] [snip] Ow! My limbs!"

The US Supreme Court ruled yesterday that substandard deviations are punishable by five years in prison or three years in Mississippi.

I finally figured out that Paul's great advantage is he exists eight hours in my future. When he's finishing off his sixth or seventh Pimm's Cup at the witching hour I'm still hard at work, with no more than three or four beers down.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

Professor Marvel has left for Kansas, leaving me alone behind the curtain.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

"Ultimately, they will become empty, mindless specters, stripped of will and soul, with only their hunger for freedom to give them thirst for vengence..."

Rush, The Necromancer

__________________
"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it." — Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

441!!!! :)

I knew I shoulda stood in bed. I think I will.

-- Zaramecho Azaramaroff, in Bechuel

People make too much of evil. Really, it's merely another word for "very bad".

I thought it was live spelled backwards.

In fairness, I once made a small, two-seater single-engine airplane out of evil. Was that too much?

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

How is that fairness? For it to be fair, everyone should have one. Or at the very least be hypnotised into thinking they had one only last month, but subsequently mislaid or broke it.

Incidentally I once had something really good which I subsequently broke or mislaid, but I cannot say what it was because it would violate the BAUT rule about not discussing fish tanks.

Speaking of BAUT rules, you shouldn't have seen the trouble I got into discussing double half-wing plovers.

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I say there is an invisible elf in my backyard. How do you prove that I am wrong?

Disclaimer: Avatar is not an official NASA image and does not imply any specific interplanetary or interstellar capability.

The Leif Ericson Cruiser

That depends. How evil is it? How often does it lose your luggage?

__________________
I say there is an invisible elf in my backyard. How do you prove that I am wrong?

Disclaimer: Avatar is not an official NASA image and does not imply any specific interplanetary or interstellar capability.

The Leif Ericson Cruiser

I've never seen a fish tank myself, just a couple of fish self-propelled howitzers.

As far as BAUT rules go, people keep telling me to read the faqs. Can't they spell? BAUT has never sent me a faqs, or a fax for that matter. Is Phil keeping something from me? Or is it because I'm still behind the curtain?

And Polonius is beginning to smell.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."

You'd think he would have worked it out. "Oh, it's Polonius' corpse! Well that's that one solved."

I always had a problem asking girls out. Not the asking so much, but the next bit:

Me: "Hey, [potential partner], would you like to go out w