BILL CLINTON: I don't know, you honor, I have never seen that chicken before in my life. :^o

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE: It was due to a leg malfunction.

FORREST GUMP: Chicken is as chicken does.
HAL 9000: My chicken is going. I can feel it. I can feel it.

Some originals:

DR. FLOYD: What's that? Chicken?
JACK O'NEILL: Hypnosis. You know, I'm not a big fan of that bark like a chicken, cluck like a dog stuff.

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"Flying in space is risky business, but just staying on this planet is risky business too." - John Young, astronaut

CAPTAIN KIRK: Dam it Scotty, we need to get that chicken across the road or we're all dead.
SCOTTY: Aye, but Captain, the chicken can't take any more.
SPOOK: Fascinating

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At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

One Earth, One Sky - IYA 2009
All moderation in purple

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: This chicken will self-destruct in ten seconds.

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"Flying in space is risky business, but just staying on this planet is risky business too." - John Young, astronaut

Don't you mean the Vast Right-Buffalo-Wing Conspiracy?

Or:
GARY LARSON: To get to the Far Side!

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GhiaPet Home Page

You have Waaaaaay too much time on your hands!!

Somewhere
Over the Highway
Chickens stride

Chicks stride over the highway
To get to the other side...

Someday I'll dodge a speeding car
And end up where the flock is far behind me...

Where bags of scratch are strewn about
And there's no big ax-wielding lout....

That's where you'll find me...

Somewhere
Over the highway
Chickens go

They're all crossing the highay
Why I will never know...

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If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers.

Hey, that lout's the Tin-Man!

__________________
At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

One Earth, One Sky - IYA 2009
All moderation in purple

I love it! However, you missed one.

College student: "A chicken! Cool! When do we eat him??"

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An open mind is like an open window...without a good screen you'll get all sorts of weird bugs!

WILLE "Chicken" NELSON

On the road again
I just can't wait to get on the road again....


.

TONY BLAIR. "Of course the chicken crossed the road, it would have been chicken not to!"

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You cannot create a truth by believing in a falsehood.

Nah, that only took a few minutes. But then, if you're a youngster, that's way too much time...

BTW, I suggest you check out mike alexander's offering! :wink:

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A person's name, or a mark representing it, as signed personally or by deputy, as in subscribing a letter or other document.

I don't understand how you guys have time to be so clever... #-o

I already got a boss who keeps telling me that seeing as they go to all the trouble to print me up a paycheck, that I should consider spending a little time on work...

But then I have never been accused of being clever or bright... 8)

Lurker, I accuse you of being too clever and bright! You're one of THEM!!!!!

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Yes, I have a life. It's quite different from yours.

Must Eliminate Security Breach!! Track Andromeda for Elimination....

Um... yeah... Doesn't Phil have rules about smokin' that stuff on his board!! 8-[

8)

Edited to add:

Now see... I never have these things on hand when I need them...
but I found the perfect answer to your accusation, so I am adding it now... 8)

Well, my life is now complete. I've seen a bunny with a pancake on its head. Isn't the internet just an amazing tool?

__________________
At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

One Earth, One Sky - IYA 2009
All moderation in purple

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"I have a cunning plan that cannot fail."
S. Baldrick

And I suggest you all check out Maksutov's song. He did a whole patter song, and that's much more difficult! =D> =D> =D>

__________________
If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers.

That bunny has two pancakes on it's head.

I find myself laughing uncontrollably to the point of tears at the flapjack-coiffed hare, which can only mean one thing... time for bed.

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"Earth diameter is 7,900 miles, and Moon diameter is 2,160 miles. It takes on average 90 minutes to complete one Earth orbit, so one Moon orbit should take roughly 25 minutes." - Sam "NasaScam" Colby

Bearer of the highly coveted "I found Venus in nine Apollo photos" sweatsocks.

DataCable^2008 A+

I had a good laugh on this one.

I would like to add one or two:

What kind of chicken was it?

If it was a rooster, his reply:
I saw a hen on the other side

If it was a hen, her reply:
I saw a better place to lay my egg.

cyrek1

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aka Michael Cyrek

Worf:
Klingon chickens do not cross roads!!

Teal'c:
Why should I be interested in the ambling of a domesticated fowl?

Cpt. Carter:
Colonel, this is exciting. See the chicken was moving at 3 feet per second in a north by northwest direction, when it came to the road.... Oh what. Sorry Colonel.

Daniel:
Do you see these scratches left by the chicken's feet. Well they look just like cuniform that was found in ancient.... (etc, etc)

G'Kar:
It's a plot by the dastardly Centauri! They wish to keep my people down and subjugate us!!

Londo:
It's a plot by Narn rebels! We came to help the Narn people and this is how they repay us!?!

The Grey Council:
The problems of others - are not our concern.

Pak'ma'ra:
*Chicken is dead? Chicken on list?*

Vir:
Chicken? A chicken you say...well...if...you know...the chicken wants to...I mean...it has to decide, you know...well...crossing the road...it's not something normal, right...I mean these chickens are house pets...man's best friend and all that...but sure if it want's too...and all. Now what was it again?

Mr. Morden:
What do you want? My associates can be very helpful to you.

Ulkesh Naranek:
~Yes~

Kosh Naranek:
~The chicken has crossed the road, it is too late for the road to vote.~

Psi-Cop:


Kim Possible:
No big. I can handle this. What's the sitch?

Ron Stoppable:
Eww. Chicken's belong on plates. In a fajita.

Rufus:
Uh-huh. Yeah.

Dr. Drakken:
I'll have to get this chicken to help me in my grand plan to rule the world!

Shego:
A chicken. Yeah right! Like that's gonna work.

Senor Senior Senior:
Yes, my plan to lure Kim Possible to her doom has begun. Come Junior, let's go practice our evil laughs together, hmm? Ooh, won't that be nice, eh?

Senor Senior Junior:
Not now father. I'm working on my tan. And please move. You are blocking my light.

DNAmy:
A chicken, huh? Well I can spice that baby up with a little meanie DNA. I have some here somewhere.

Mr Barken:
Listen up people! Today we are studing the story of a chicken, who braving the traffic, crosses the road. To continue my 'Life is not fair' theme for all classes, you will not be allowed to pick study partners. I will pick them for you.

Monkey Fist (Lord Monty Fiske):
The chicken must be headed for the secret temple of Tai Shing Pek Kwar. I must have the secrets of Monkey Kung Fu. Monkey Ninjas! Attack!!

Dr. Possible:
That's fine. Just as long as it's not a boy.

Kizarvexis
My daughter just turned ten. I'm thinking that in a few years, I can get tight with that last one.

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"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary." - James D. Nicoll

Ulkesh Naranek?!? I thought I knew just about everything to do with the TV series, including Kosh's last name, but I don't remember having ever heard of an Ulkesh. Is this from one/some of the books? Would that be the one who took Kosh's place and insisted on always being called Kosh?

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GhiaPet Home Page

Ulkesh was the Vorlon that replaced Kosh. He was also in the TV movie "In the Beginning." I believe he was named in one of the books, but I know jms mentioned his name in his usenet posts. Naranek is not actually a last name, but a title. Here are a few more jokes.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Kosh:
~Understanding is a three-edged sword.~

Lorien:
Why are you here? Where are you going?

Galen:
Whom do you serve and whom do you trust?

Schrodinger:
Until you observe the chicken, it is on both sides of the road.

Kizarvexis

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"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary." - James D. Nicoll

Samurai Jack: We must respect the Way of the Chicken. (bows head)

Invader Zim: Grr! Blast that chicken!

Grr: "?"

Rocky: Holy smokes, Bullwinkle! That chicken could get hurt!

Bullwinkle: Hey Rocky! Watch me pull that chicken out of my hat!

Rick: Listen chicken; whether or not you make it across the road doesn't amount to a hill of scratch in this crazy world.

Han Solo: I could make it across the road in less than ten parsecs!

Kane: ......incubator......

Asimov: But first, Gentle Reader, we have to look at how the chicken can walk in the first place. The ancient Greeks.....

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If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers.

You left out "Does the chicken have anything worth crossing the road for?" and "Who is the chicken?".

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GhiaPet Home Page

Good ones, mike!

One small revision:

Actually that would have been "Hokey Smoke, Bullwinkle!" There's even a whole R&B website out there by that name.

Mr. Peabody: "Now, Sherman, set the WAYBAC for the year 10,000 BCE. We're going to see which came first, the chicken or the egg. There's a 50% chance that the question should be 'Why did the egg roll across the road?'."
Sherman: "Gee, Mr. Peabody, do you think it was because it was just a bad yolk?"
Mr. Peabody: "Enough of that, Sherman. Into the WAYBAC, boy!"
Sherman: "Yes, Mr. Peabody!"

__________________
A person's name, or a mark representing it, as signed personally or by deputy, as in subscribing a letter or other document.

I love the ads at the bottom of this forum. Three were for various types of on-line food stores (organic chicken, etc.) and one was for a bird vet. So when the chicken crossed the road it either gets hurt and goes to the vet or is lunch.

__________________
At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

One Earth, One Sky - IYA 2009
All moderation in purple

Or perhaps... If the vet is unable to help the poor fowl... well, I'll leave the rest to your imagination. :wink:

__________________
"Earth diameter is 7,900 miles, and Moon diameter is 2,160 miles. It takes on average 90 minutes to complete one Earth orbit, so one Moon orbit should take roughly 25 minutes." - Sam "NasaScam" Colby

Bearer of the highly coveted "I found Venus in nine Apollo photos" sweatsocks.

DataCable^2008 A+

From Neon Genisis Evangelion:

Shinji: It crossed the road...because it wanted to...I guess...

Rei: Who are you and where are you going?

Asuka: What the hell has a chicken to do with anything?!

Gendo: Chickens are irrelevant. Roads are irrelevant.