Why did the chicken cross the road?

Borg:
We are the Borg.
We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own.
Your culture will adapt to service ours.
Resistance is futile.


Kizarvexis

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"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary." - James D. Nicoll

(sound of Canadian Zydeco fades...)

Harold: "Uncle Red, Uncle Red, I just saw a chicken crossing the road!"
Red Green: "Why was it crossing the road, Harold?"
Harold: "Well, gee, I don't know?"
Red: "You weren't trying to get a date for the Lodge dance Saturday night, were you Harold?"
Harold: "Gee, no, Uncle Red!"
Red: "I didn't think so. Grab your feather duster and start cleaning up!"
>>>
Winston Rothschild III: "Time for the Possum Lodge WORD GAME!"
Winston (whispering): "The secret word for tonight is "chicken!"..."CHICKEN!"...
Red: "OK, there's an old saying "Why did the [blank] cross the road?"
Dalton Humphrey: "Married man? Trying to get in late?"
Red: "All right, a famous politician campaigned on the platform, 'A [blank] in every pot."
Dalton: "Stew?" "I'm always in a stew at home!"
Red: "Let's see, how about, "Don't count your [blanks] before they're hatched?"
Dalton: "Battens! I know, I've done some boating!"
Winston: "Time's almost up, gentlemen!"
Red: "Aw, Dalton, I can't go on anymore, my brain feels like it's fried."
Dalton: "Chicken?"
Winston: "A winner! A winner!"
>>>
Red: "Well, see, uh one day Walter noticed these chickens crossing the
road, and he figured he'd better make sure they make it across and back,
since he gets his egg money from them, anyway, he decides the best
thing to do is set up a crossing guard. So I asked him where he was going
to get the materials for a crossing guard from, and he replied, same place
as everyone else, from MY backyard, and, darn, if that boy wasn't smart,
and soon, we had the crossing guard erected with only ten rolls of duct
tape, and the chickens were doing fine until this school bus came along,
and asked where our permit for the crossing guard was, at which point
the chickens started getting on to the school bus, and soon there were
feathers flying everywhere and Walter refused to raise the crossing
guard, and it was quite a mess which the police sorted out after they got
there. Turns out Walter didn't even need the crossing guard, since the
reason the chickens were crossing the road was, they weren't Walter's
chickens!"
>>>
Red: "It's important for guys to realize that things aren't all that different on the other side of
the road. Oh sure, when you were younger, you spent a lot of time over there, but the reason
it looks so good now isn't because it's any different, but because you were a lot younger
back then! Now, consider that you don't move as fast as you did. Do you think dodging
those big semis is going to be as easy as it used to be? And for what? Face it, guys! It's the
same here as the other side of the road. So stay put. Let the chickens get run over, not you!
Remember we're all in this together (not the chickens though). We're pullin' for ya! But not
the pullets!
>>>
Harold: "Uncle RED! UNCLE RED!"
Red: :"What is it now, Harold..."
Harold: "Welllll...you'll NEVER..NEVER guess what happened!!!"
Red: "You're right Harold, I probably never will, now I got to go..."
Harold: "I got me a date for the Lodge dance Saturday night."
Red: "No! What species?"
Harold: "She is a fine human being, Uncle Red, and happens to be Flinty McClintock's daughter!"
Red: "How in..."
Harold: "We were walking along the county road. The wind blew off my hat, so I went
across to get it. She yelled over that she had heard I was too chicken to ask a girl for date,
so that's when I crossed the road and invited her to the dance. She said something like "OK"
just before she passed out."
Red: "Well, makes sense now!"
(sound in background: GWEEE, GWEEE, GWEEE)
Harold: "Time for the meeting, Uncle Red!"
Red: "You go ahead, I'll be right there...if my wife is watching, I'll be coming straight home
after the meeting...Well, not all creatures that cross the road are our fine-feathered friends, it
seems, but to those who make it, keep your stick on the ice!!"

Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati!

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After reading this entire thread, I have come to the conclusion that I am the only one who knows why the chicken crossed the road: To demonstrate to the possum that it could be done!

On a side note, don't laugh too hard at Kucharck's first line about putting up a warning sign. There is a warning sign in the road that goes down the hill from Krickenbach Germany to the main road to Kaiserslautern that has a frog on it, with the message... "Kroten Wanderung". someone doesn't want you to flatten any frogs on your way to the Schnitzel Haus (excellent food BTW).

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Those who repeat History are doomed to learn it.

[edit]whoops, I didn't realise how old this thread was (it was linked to on another topic)

Sorry ops: [/edit]

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Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober""
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