Chatroom
 

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Bad Astronomy and Universe Today Forum > General > Off-Topic Babbling
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read

   

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 12-March-2006, 11:26 PM
_DRAGONLORD_'s Avatar
_DRAGONLORD_ _DRAGONLORD_ is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Sanford,ME
Posts: 52
Default I have a joke(please answer the question)

If a rooster laid an egg what side of the roof would it fall off of?
__________________
Mission History
Loading...

Explore Derelict Ring Habitat
Complete
Destroy Hostile Ground Forces
Complete
Neutralize Adaptive Parasitic Lifeform
Complete
Outwit Ancient A.I. Construct
Complete
Stop Destruction of Human Race
In Progress
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 12-March-2006, 11:49 PM
farmerjumperdon farmerjumperdon is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Wisconsin USA
Posts: 3,943
Default

The top side?

That would be IF the rooster laid an egg.
__________________
Don of Borg - Cool, Calm, Collective.

"Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 12-March-2006, 11:52 PM
N C More's Avatar
N C More N C More is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Plymouth, MA
Posts: 2,287
Default

I'd like to see a rooster lay an egg...roosters are males.
__________________
An open mind is like an open window...without a good screen you'll get all sorts of weird bugs!
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 13-March-2006, 12:11 AM
Titana's Avatar
Titana Titana is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Baja California
Posts: 1,850
Send a message via MSN to Titana Send a message via Yahoo to Titana
Default

........ .......



Titana
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 13-March-2006, 12:19 AM
Carnifex's Avatar
Carnifex Carnifex is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Kaunas, Lithuania
Posts: 260
Send a message via MSN to Carnifex
Default

Eight posts and one not funny joke... Ain't that a record?

Welcome to the board though
__________________
Tyranids might be unpleasant to look, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 13-March-2006, 01:23 AM
teri tait's Avatar
teri tait teri tait is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,849
Send a message via Yahoo to teri tait
Default

Leggo my eggo
__________________
Teri berry...quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
Width, silver, bells, cockle, shells, and prithe made all in aureole
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 13-March-2006, 02:17 AM
farmerjumperdon farmerjumperdon is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Wisconsin USA
Posts: 3,943
Default

Don't know any chicken jokes. There was a good ditty I saw a while back. It was the chicken crossing the road question, with mocked up answers of what a bunch of well-knowns would have answered. My favorite was Hemingway:

To die . . . alone . . . in the rain.
__________________
Don of Borg - Cool, Calm, Collective.

"Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 13-March-2006, 03:41 AM
sarongsong's Avatar
sarongsong sarongsong is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 6,554
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by N C More
I'd like to see a rooster lay an egg...roosters are males.
Ha, ha---maybe the Far Side of the roof:
"...Basilisks were supposedly born out of a rooster's egg that was hatched by a viper or toad. Although seemingly invulnerable, Basilisks had two great enemies: the weasel and the rooster. Weasels are immune to a basilisk's glare and venom, and kill the reptiles mercilessly. In addition, merely hearing a rooster's crow kills a basilisk..."
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 13-March-2006, 04:40 AM
buffalodavid's Avatar
buffalodavid buffalodavid is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Tropic Ut
Posts: 32
Default

And while we're on the subject, Why does the porridge bird lay his egg in the air.

If anybody wants me I'll be on the bus with the rest of the Bozos

Buffalo(sometimestoohipfortheroom)david
__________________
A Guy Stranded In Utah. Send Help. Or Books.
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 14-March-2006, 03:13 AM
Enzp's Avatar
Enzp Enzp is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Lansing, Michigan
Posts: 2,544
Default

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the possums it was possible.


There have been some airliner crashes lately, and with the increased sensitivity to security, borders are more important than ever. SO if an airliner crashes exactly on the border between say the US and Canada, on which side of the border would they bury the survivors?
Reply With Quote
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 14-March-2006, 03:16 AM
mickal555 mickal555 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 7,122
Send a message via ICQ to mickal555 Send a message via AIM to mickal555 Send a message via MSN to mickal555 Send a message via Yahoo to mickal555
Default

Survivors?
__________________
If this writing is blue you're going too fast!


Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 14-March-2006, 03:23 AM
Joff's Avatar
Joff Joff is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Calgary, Canada
Posts: 1,485
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by _DRAGONLORD_
If a rooster laid an egg what side of the roof would it fall off of?
It would just blame it on the dog, like everyone else.
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 14-March-2006, 04:14 AM
LurchGS's Avatar
LurchGS LurchGS is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: I can see your house from here
Posts: 3,057
Default

I'm all for burying survivors. population control
Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 14-March-2006, 07:42 PM
Roy Batty's Avatar
Roy Batty Roy Batty is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: London, England
Posts: 3,038
Default

Oh this thread deserves to die i'm sure, but anyway...

Why did the Dalek cross the road?


To EXTERMINATE! the chicken of course!
__________________
N6MAA10816
Faber '62 ΔTX

Are you a Bright?
Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 14-March-2006, 08:59 PM
redshifter's Avatar
redshifter redshifter is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Wa state - Seattle area
Posts: 726
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by farmerjumperdon
Don't know any chicken jokes. There was a good ditty I saw a while back. It was the chicken crossing the road question, with mocked up answers of what a bunch of well-knowns would have answered. My favorite was Hemingway:

To die . . . alone . . . in the rain.
Do you mean this?

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle
ground here.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions
of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services
to the American people.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and
I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
with crossing-the-road-syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more
of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,
money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to
a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it -- the other side.
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of
crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken XP, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook
and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the
road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
Reply With Quote
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 14-March-2006, 11:49 PM
AGN Fuel's Avatar
AGN Fuel AGN Fuel is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The beautiful Central Coast, NSW
Posts: 2,285
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enzp
There have been some airliner crashes lately, and with the increased sensitivity to security, borders are more important than ever. SO if an airliner crashes exactly on the border between say the US and Canada, on which side of the border would they bury the survivors?

Not sure. However, I was reading in the paper the other day about the plane that crashed into a cemetary in Dublin. So far, the authorities have recovered 7500 bodies.....
__________________
"I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day." - Douglas Adams

"Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful." - Ian Faith
Reply With Quote
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 14-March-2006, 11:56 PM
AGN Fuel's Avatar
AGN Fuel AGN Fuel is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The beautiful Central Coast, NSW
Posts: 2,285
Default

I was also reading in the same paper about an electrical black out in a Galway shopping centre. 16 people were trapped on an escalator for 3 hours....
__________________
"I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day." - Douglas Adams

"Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful." - Ian Faith
Reply With Quote
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 15-March-2006, 02:43 AM
Enzp's Avatar
Enzp Enzp is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Lansing, Michigan
Posts: 2,544
Default

I know the feeling. I locked my keys in the car the other day. it took me an hour and a half to get my wife out.
Reply With Quote
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 15-March-2006, 03:05 AM
Josh's Avatar
Josh Josh is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 2,231
Send a message via MSN to Josh
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enzp
I know the feeling. I locked my keys in the car the other day. it took me an hour and a half to get my wife out.
Heh. I was sitting at a restaurant the other day with a friend. He and I were eating and chatting and then heard the loud "BEEP BEEP" of a car alarm activating. We looked up and saw a woman sitting in the car looking around. Then she tried to open the door and couldn't. Then she proceeded to bang on the windows and cry for help. Somehow she'd managed to lock herself in the car and couldn't get out. After a few minutes of much pointing and laughing some people finally went over to see if they could hear what she was saying. Apparently her daughter was across the road getting a wax. Eventually the daughter was found and she came running across the road in a towel and unlocked the car. The lady in the car got out calmly and stood there for a good 10 or so seconds then burst into tears. It was pretty funny.
__________________
1·618033988749894848204586834365638117720309179805 76286213544862270526046281890244970720720418939113 74
Reply With Quote
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 15-March-2006, 11:35 AM
HenrikOlsen's Avatar
HenrikOlsen HenrikOlsen is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Denmark 55.6773° N 12.3610° E
Posts: 5,263
Send a message via MSN to HenrikOlsen Send a message via Yahoo to HenrikOlsen
Default

That sounds like a car that's designed to promote lawsuits.
I wonder if that's based on the idea that locking the car thief in the car is a good thing?

2/(sqrt(5)-1)
__________________
And the "driving on the freeway on a scooter" analogy still holds true because the pilots are sitting in 7 to 30 ton aircraft o' doom and you are running around them in your very own Meatbody, Mark I. Beep, beep.
Big Don
Trying to make sense of computers, The Error Log.
Reply With Quote