If a rooster laid an egg what side of the roof would it fall off of?

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The top side?

That would be IF the rooster laid an egg.

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Don of Borg - Cool, Calm, Collective.

"Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

I'd like to see a rooster lay an egg...roosters are males.

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An open mind is like an open window...without a good screen you'll get all sorts of weird bugs!

........ .......



Titana

Eight posts and one not funny joke... Ain't that a record?

Welcome to the board though

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Tyranids might be unpleasant to look, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight

Leggo my eggo

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Teri berry...quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
Width, silver, bells, cockle, shells, and prithe made all in aureole

Don't know any chicken jokes. There was a good ditty I saw a while back. It was the chicken crossing the road question, with mocked up answers of what a bunch of well-knowns would have answered. My favorite was Hemingway:

To die . . . alone . . . in the rain.

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Don of Borg - Cool, Calm, Collective.

"Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

Ha, ha---maybe the Far Side of the roof:
"...Basilisks were supposedly born out of a rooster's egg that was hatched by a viper or toad. Although seemingly invulnerable, Basilisks had two great enemies: the weasel and the rooster. Weasels are immune to a basilisk's glare and venom, and kill the reptiles mercilessly. In addition, merely hearing a rooster's crow kills a basilisk..."

And while we're on the subject, Why does the porridge bird lay his egg in the air.

If anybody wants me I'll be on the bus with the rest of the Bozos

Buffalo(sometimestoohipfortheroom)david

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A Guy Stranded In Utah. Send Help. Or Books.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the possums it was possible.


There have been some airliner crashes lately, and with the increased sensitivity to security, borders are more important than ever. SO if an airliner crashes exactly on the border between say the US and Canada, on which side of the border would they bury the survivors?

Survivors?

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If this writing is blue you're going too fast!

It would just blame it on the dog, like everyone else.

I'm all for burying survivors. population control

Oh this thread deserves to die i'm sure, but anyway...

Why did the Dalek cross the road?


To EXTERMINATE! the chicken of course!

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N6MAA10816
Faber '62 ΔTX
Are you a Bright?

Do you mean this?

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle
ground here.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions
of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services
to the American people.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and
I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
with crossing-the-road-syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more
of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,
money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to
a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it -- the other side.
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of
crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken XP, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook
and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the
road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

Not sure. However, I was reading in the paper the other day about the plane that crashed into a cemetary in Dublin. So far, the authorities have recovered 7500 bodies.....

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"I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day." - Douglas Adams

"Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful." - Ian Faith

I was also reading in the same paper about an electrical black out in a Galway shopping centre. 16 people were trapped on an escalator for 3 hours....

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"I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day." - Douglas Adams

"Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful." - Ian Faith

I know the feeling. I locked my keys in the car the other day. it took me an hour and a half to get my wife out.

Heh. I was sitting at a restaurant the other day with a friend. He and I were eating and chatting and then heard the loud "BEEP BEEP" of a car alarm activating. We looked up and saw a woman sitting in the car looking around. Then she tried to open the door and couldn't. Then she proceeded to bang on the windows and cry for help. Somehow she'd managed to lock herself in the car and couldn't get out. After a few minutes of much pointing and laughing some people finally went over to see if they could hear what she was saying. Apparently her daughter was across the road getting a wax. Eventually the daughter was found and she came running across the road in a towel and unlocked the car. The lady in the car got out calmly and stood there for a good 10 or so seconds then burst into tears. It was pretty funny.

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That sounds like a car that's designed to promote lawsuits.
I wonder if that's based on the idea that locking the car thief in the car is a good thing?

2/(sqrt(5)-1)

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‘To those who regard “crime fiction” as some sacred icon which must follow a rigid formula, I will always be the man who writes 18-syllable haiku.’Trying to make sense of computers, The Error Log.

Maybe locking your mother-in-law in is a good thing too? Same principle really.

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When lock jaw just isn't fast enough.

I agree. I'm going to assume that Josh isn't joshing us (ha!) and suspect that the woman just didn't know how to unlock the doors. I've never heard of a car that couldn't be unlocked from inside. Of course, a lot of cars have "child locks" on the back doors that can't be unlocked from the back seats, but I think even they can be unlocked with a front-seat button. And the front doors can certainly be unlocked from inside.

I mean, they're talking about requiring manual levers in trunks so that kidnappers can't lock somebody in the trunk. I just can't believe it's possible to lock somebody in the main body of the car.

This kind of reminds me of the story of the woman who was upset because the battery in her vehicle remote died and she couldn't unlock the doors. She was wondering if the store a ways down the street would be able to replace the battery, and somebody took her keys and used the actual key to unlock the door and said, "Why don't you drive down there and find out?"

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SeanF

"Ask to understand, but don't challenge unless you have the knowledge."--NEOWatcher

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