Being a message board whore (usually a lurker) I've read plenty of good ones ... but on *this* board I am partial to:

"I'm not gullible because I'm a Leo.--Actually said to me by a co-worker"

Tog owes me a keyboard. I actually spit coffee the first time I read it.

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You just said "nuclear". It's "nukular", dummy, the "s" is silent! -Peter Griffin

I've actually used two signatures from this board in conversations. One was Gillian's "You can't erase icing" when a former boss gave me a birthday cake at work with my name spelled wrong (the bakery messed up) and she tried to fix it. I've used Andromedia's "I have a life, it is just different from yours" several times.

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At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

One Earth, One Sky - IYA 2009

Heck, I used that before I'd ever heard of this board. We had a group of local teenagers in Port Angeles, WA, picking on our SCA event and telling us to get a life. We told them we did; it was just different than theirs. They told us to live in the 90s (this was some time ago, obviously). We asked them which ones.

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

I want to understand what "You can't erase icing" means.
But I'm afraid that I'll be told, "If you have to ask, you'll
never know."

For decades -- long before BAUT, Usenet, GEnie, Fidonet, or
BBSing (my experience with messaging and taglines) -- I've said
that I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians don't believe in astrology.

Never used it in a tagline though. Aquarians rarely use taglines.

-- Jeff, in Minneapolis

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http://www.FreeMars.org/jeff/

"I find astronomy very interesting, but I wouldn't if I thought we
were just going to sit here and look." -- "Van Rijn"

"The other planets? Well, they just happen to be there, but the
point of rockets is to explore them!" -- Kai Yeves

It is, as I've mentioned elsewhere, a Judging Amy quote; her daughter makes her a cake that says "happy borthday," then, very defensively, tells her mother that you can't erase icing.

On a deeper level, I guess it means that there are some things that can't really be fixed.

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

Rommie's has always been one of my favorites.

Hmm, should I put a Firefly or Farscape quote as my sig to accompany my Trek user name and my Battlestar Galactica avatar?

Hmph. She could have dotted the o.
Judging Amy is or was a TV show?

A tagline, by me:

If at first you don't succeed, you were doing something wrong.

(I say "were" rather than "are" because sometimes doing the same
thing the same way is the right thing to do on the second try.)

-- Jeff, in Minneapolis

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http://www.FreeMars.org/jeff/

"I find astronomy very interesting, but I wouldn't if I thought we
were just going to sit here and look." -- "Van Rijn"

"The other planets? Well, they just happen to be there, but the
point of rockets is to explore them!" -- Kai Yeves

Was. It was on CBS until a season or two ago. It is currently in reruns on TNT almost as often as Law and Order is.

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

my signature is my tribute to a very special lady...

Well, I lay claim to my three. I started with Pauli's then added the Carroll, then the one from Kelvin when an ATM discussion got rather involved. If I were to hold onto one of them, it would be the Pauli (he's the avatar BTW).

Another favorite, not used just yet, is Menken's "Nobody ever went broke overestimating the intelligence of the American public." Then again, there's not enough Ambrose Bierce here. From The Devil's Dictionary we have Others should be appropriate as necessary.

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"I often say that when you can measure what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about it; but when you cannot measure it, when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meagre and unsatisfactory kind." - William Thompson, 1st Baron Lord Kelvin

"If it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be, but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!" - Tweedledee

This isn't right. This isn't even wrong. - Wolfgang Pauli

Van Rijn's signature:
I say there is an invisible elf in my backyard. How do you prove that I am wrong?

Ktesibios signature:
The invisible dragon in my garage got loose and before I could find it, it had eaten Van Rijn's invisible elf. Terribly sorry about that.

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Past my days of great confusion
Past my days of wondering why
Will I sail into the heavens
Constellations in my eyes?

If at first you don't succeed, don't take up skydiving.

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And the "driving on the freeway on a scooter" analogy still holds true because the pilots are sitting in 7 to 30 ton aircraft o' doom and you are running around them in your very own Meatbody, Mark I. Beep, beep.
Trying to make sense of computers, The Error Log.

I originally read something similar to this somewhere - can't remember where though, so I'm unable to give credit.
"The truth is easier to see once you stop believing you already have it."

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How many times have you been about to grasp the truth when somebody else suddenly yanked it out of your reach?

Happier than a gopher in loose dirt.

More dangerous than a kamikazee pilot with a Dear John letter.

More destructive than a programmer with a soldering iron.

Nuttier than squirrel poop.

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Don of Borg - Cool, Calm, Collective.

"Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

The sport has built in pruning. Sort of a Darwinian style of quality control.

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Don of Borg - Cool, Calm, Collective.

"Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

Hey, I resemble that statement. I prefer to us the saying with a screwdriver, though, since I have a tendency to unhook things with the power still on. Suprisingly, I haven't let the smoke out of much stuff but I still have many years to go.

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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook

While you raise some interesting points, your argument suffers one fatal flaw. You're a moron. —PetersCreek

First, I learned about the speed of sound. Then, the speed of light. Finally, I encountered the speed of stupid. I'm sad to report I've discovered no upper limit to the latter. —PetersCreek

I have only two vices: cigars...and lying about having only two vices. —Unknown