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And when the end comes you can't believe its over already, no matter how old you are. Twelve years ago I got so sick my personal physician came in to my room and told me I wasn't going to make it. And I was so sick I believed him.
A side effect of a medication I was taking caused my liver to fail. Told me as of the last blood test, I had no liver function and I had about six hours left. Doesn't get much scarier than that. I was on the exit ramp of the highway of life. When the ammonia levels in my blood got too high it started to impact my cerebral functions and I thought it was the begining of disolution, where the brain chemistry of life comes to an end. Something we're all going to have to experience I'm sad to say. Had the weirdest illusion. My vision was like the lines of pixals on your monitor only with these red dots at the end of each line that were moving slowly at different speeds from right to left and disolving the lines of pixals like a fuse burning. Then the room began tilting wildly and I lost consiousness soon after. I came to when I felt the nurse's touch on my wrist as she was getting ready to time me out. I actually startled her when I spoke. And she went and got the Doctor. He came in and told me he was really glad to see me. He looked happy and surprised at the same time. I don't know why my liver function started back up again. Minimal at first but enough to keep me here. Thats as close a call as I've ever heard of. What disturbs me the most spiritually, is for years I was actually angry I survived. Because it means I was going to have to go through this again sometime in the furture and I thought once was enough. Totally wrong headed I know. I'm mostly over it now. I do enjoy being alive.
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Gimme a minute to read through Jay's latest observations... |
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Where has the year gone? Well let's see. It's gone towards
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2 good 2 need 4 engines |
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You can snap back to it by not worrying too much, and instead of thinking and analyzing - just experience things. The brain is an experience-processing machine, so just let it do its job, without filtering the information with unnecessary thoughts. How can a chunk of matter that has evolved to experience things be worried? Only through the invention that is language, my friend. Just let it goooo....
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Same for me. I think that it's because, when you're younger, everything is a big adventure. As you get older monotony tends to set in, making all the days, months and years seem to bleed into one another.
Time flies when you're having fun but oddly, in the macroview, the opposite is true.
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The year has gone to the place where all the socks that disappeared from clothes dryers have gone.
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Microsoft is over if you want it. The bar has been lowered for the promotion of ATM ideas; the bar for the acceptance of ATM ideas must remain high. |
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Right now, I'm really into politics, political ideas and related topics. |
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This year can't go fast enough for me.
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Gillian "Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'" "You can't erase icing." "I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!" |
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And will therefore almost by necessity take forever to drag by.
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And the "driving on the freeway on a scooter" analogy still holds true because the pilots are sitting in 7 to 30 ton aircraft o' doom and you are running around them in your very own Meatbody, Mark I. Beep, beep. Big Don Trying to make sense of computers, The Error Log.
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Exactly.
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Gillian "Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'" "You can't erase icing." "I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!" |
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It does seem more precious, but no reason for it to be uninteresting. Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it moves along. (And it too becomes more precious, especially when the next roll is out of reach) Those kids (active ones anyway) will keep you hopping. Syd is in basketball, Girl Scouts, choir, band, and plans on downhill racing this winter. She also wants to get back to karate this winter. Time for a chat about making tough decisions. Last winter we only had one day per week (Sunday) where we didn't have to haul her to at least one activity.
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Don of Borg - Cool, Calm, Collective. "Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley |
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The year has gone to the place where all the socks that disappeared from clothes dryers have gone. IIRC, it was back in the 1980s when the scientific humor magazine "Journal of Irreproducable Results" ran a series of letters pondering the mystery of why socks disappeared and coat hangers multiplied. My personal favorite is that socks are the larval stage of coat |