I live in an apartment. We probably have a crawl space, but neither true basement nor true attic.

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

Thank you Moderator...and for clarification .... Im a She..

Again my apologies.....Gillianren...

I was out of line and didnt know and intentionally hurt someone like you or anybody who has undergoing manic depressions or similar to that...

Im just sharing my opinion , speaking in general , about what happiness and how I deal with life when sadness comes...

Im not perfect too..I do have some problems in my life that are different from you and the people here or everywhere...

I dont have what you are experiencing right now...
...but I have underwent total depression too to the point of ending my life...


I was married to a man whom Im committed myself for the rest of my life...
I resigned from my job to serve my husband fully..bec Im in my early 30s and getting pregnant is risky...
I got pregnant the first time .. but unluckily I had a miscarriage in the middle of it.. I was on my 5th month...but before that happens.. we were a happy couple ..we were both excited to start a family... we even have named our son before it was concieved in my womb..and then all of sudden without any symptoms at all .. I lost my son...

Every single member of my family and his were shocked, time flies so fast and our happines went to ashes... he went cold..he suddenly changed ... and I was the one who 's left to blame..
everyday I struggle with that depression... knowing I lost a life under my care ..everybody hates me... Im not worth being a mom because in the first place I cant even take care of him when he's still inside my body...Im worthless...and so to speak .. all kinds of bad thing went through my mind .. mental torture.. I may call it..that I nearly taken my life..

I love my husband , and he's my life... he left me ...he's gone...
Nothing left of me... Im alone...

Maybe you're thinking .. there's no such man that would do such a thing...
But its true..
And Im not making up a story here...

You have your friends to sympatize with you... at that time .. I have noone...
One person that is there with me all along...is MYSELF...

for over a year...I struggle with that..I have no work.. and my saving is nearly empty...

Then I decided... I have to live.. I still have hope... I dont want to be like this ... instead of embracing depression ...

I said to myself.. I can change for the better....He's not worth it .... You can start all over again..

And then I started again to look for a job.. revisiting my old friends..and places...never letting depression overpower me again....

Two years has passed ....its a long journey...

And now...I have a job..I have a 3 year old son... and a husband who loves me sincerely.....

I may not have the best in the world....
but I can smile now...
and I am happy..

Oh, no--I know people would do that. And I'm truly sorry such a horrible thing happened to you. I can't really understand what you're going through, as I've never gone through it myself, but you have my deepest sympathy. I can't imagine anything more painful. I hope at least someone you loved stayed supportive. If not, there's something wrong with them, not you!

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

Borrow somebody's.Handsaws are less messy than chainsaws

As long as we're talkin' about overcomin' problems....

My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in '00 & had a mastectomy.In '02 she was diagnosed with ovarian tumors,which we wouldn't know were malignant or benign until the operation.All the women in her family back to her great-grandmother had died of cancer,including her mother in '90.For a few months we had to deal with that uncertainty,weren't no picnic,I'm not ashamed to say that Mr. Jim Beam & I became good friends.
Turned out the tumors were benign,but we still live with that 200 ton rock hangin' from a thread above our heads.

We try to have as fun as possible.

side note: I don't remember the person that asked me,when I told them she was goin' to have mastectomy, "Are you gonna divorce her now?" but I do remember suppressin' the urge to whip out my 45 & plant a 230 gr +P XTP in their empty head

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"An armed man is a citizen
An unarmed man is a subject"

Robert A. Heinlein

The book I'm reading at the moment has a topical quote in it from the Dalai Lama:

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While things, power and wealth don't necessarily bring long term happiness, could long term happiness be found in finding a meaning in ones life?

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Good question Josh & it jarred my memory...
A few years ago a fellow musician & I were out toolin' around in my Jeep & out of the blue (he's a kinda strange fellow,but heckuva pianist!) he asks me what I thought my legacy would be (I don't remember his exact wording,it was something like that).
I thought for a coupla minutes & said "Well,I guess that I made people happy,both as a musician & as a Realtor." It's always been gratifying to me to have folks tell me they enjoyed my playing & to have a young couple tell me they were happy with their new house & thank me for helpin' them get thru the process.
I've always told my 1st-time buyers "This'll be the biggest hassle of your life,but just do what I tell you & remember that the only dumb question is the one you don't ask".
I have free beer all over our little town here

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"An armed man is a citizen
An unarmed man is a subject"

Robert A. Heinlein

yes .. it can be ... Long term happiness ...its a deep one...it comes from within.... just as i said .. its priceless....

Let's stop kidding...


Money.

Lots of it.

So one can do what one wants to do.

Like help out family members that need it.

And the others who will be really surprised.

And for one's self:

Get adequate medical care such that one might

Climb mountains again.

Rove America taking pictures of one's favorite places to share with others.

Ski.

Swim.

Run.

Bike.

Support groups that are trying to preserve the wilderness.

Buy parts of that wilderness and put them in a trust so they might be preserved for a long time.

Write the books that earning a living got in the way of.

Support the arts.

Support science and fight antiscience.

Die after having spent it all on good people and things.

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A person's name, or a mark representing it, as signed personally or by deputy, as in subscribing a letter or other document.

I was getting close to posting something along these lines. I'm glad it's already here. I was contemplating the almost unimaginable success of social networking sites, namely MySpace. What my thoughts eventually reduced to were that we as humans enjoy being connected to other humans, to reduce what may be an intrinsic sense of loneliness that is inescapable (Sagan-esque in some regards). Secondly, for the MySpace population, it would appear that being noticed and desired by others releases the happy chemicals to the nervous system.
Using the MySpace example as my reference, I find it impossible to put a label on what derives happiness for everyone, and perhaps I'm just stating the obvious here (I tend to do that quite a bit). Utilizing brain scans and other nuero-sensing technologies I imagine would allow the researcher to gather a set of data that elicit happy emotions in a wide swath of the population. However, strangulation / suffocation for some is nightmarish where as to others it is erotic. After working with behaviorally challenged children (Down syndrome, Autism, Depression, etc...), especially those with down syndrome my understanding of happiness altered, as it continually does, and I have always wondered if my clients really were as happy as I perceived them to be. Example: The word "lunchbox" created such laughter and enjoyment from some of my clients that I found myself envious of them since I didn't understand what they understood to be the humor in such a simple, everyday idea.

As it has been said before, happiness parallels beauty in as much that it is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps there is room to merit certain forms of happiness more integral to the human consciousness than others, but it seems to be an awfully slippery slope. With all that being said (or repeated) here are my personal accounts:
Without going into unnecessary detail I am in a trough of life. I view my happiness or complacency in life as a stationary point along a wave (made out of particles of course) whose amplitude and frequency is as arbitrary as life itself. When you're down in a trough or rather at maximum negative amplitude, life seems to be swelling up all around you and forward progress is hindered by a great wall of, well particles in this case. When you're sitting pretty up on a crest, the world looks grand as you look down to the people in the troughs. I have come to realize that both maximums (+/-) are not everlasting, and when I find myself in or on one I make sure I am lucid to the possibility of change.

Right now in life I'm starting to climb that wall. This past year (almost a year to the day) has been a ride on a wave of gamma rays with. The details I don't go into for many reasons. I'm starting over from scratch morally, monetarily, romantically, and introspectively.

Through all the ups and downs however, the same things continue to make me happy: The synchronicity of events life that I take notice of, losing myself in a great book, the spark that results in a student "getting it", making elderly people happy, the list goes on...

I think it would be interesting to find out what makes people unhappy, but that would ultimately lead to an unhappy post, which makes no one happy.

Final (finally) thought: How important of an element is happiness to the survival of a species, namely our own since it is the most accessible to be measured?

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I apologize in advance for my inability to remain concise.
Shameful Plug

In all my incessant ramblings I forgot something...

In my travels I have found that the people who have the least smile the best. I gleaned this from my time living in Malaysia and could just be specific to the situations I encountered.

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I apologize in advance for my inability to remain concise.
Shameful Plug

I like to share with you this story forwarded to me :

Who is Rich ? Who is Poor?

One day

The father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son
How was the trip?
It was great, Dad.
Did you see how poor people live? the father asked.
Oh yeah, said the son. So, tell me, what you learned from the trip? asked the father
The son answered:
I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have.... a creek that has no end…
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have... the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have ...the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have.. fields that go beyond
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs...
We have walls around our property to protect us..and they have friends to protect them...

The boy's father was speechless
Then his son added,
Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are..


Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?
Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have ....

I completely agree that we find enduring happiness in connecting with others.

The internet and the personas we portray on it, however, open up an entirely different kettle of fish. Perhaps the reason those sites make us "happy" is that they allow us to put our best foot forward? We can put on any facade we like and tailor make it so that we become the person we want to be instead of the person we are.

Every one of us is, in reality, a multiplicity of characters depending on whose company we're in, what tasks we are undertaking, etc. On the internet - on chats, networking sites and forums - no one can see that multiplicity. No one can see the low self esteem we might have, no one can see the beauty or ugliness we perceive in the mirror. So in that moment we are happy ... but only because we are hiding all those parts that make us unhappy in reality. Is that real happiness? Is it the sort of happiness that endures? I feel that it's more of a bandage than a cure and possibly one that we will find has festered whilst being covered.

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It seems a lot of the information on that site was generated by surveys asking questions like this:

Now that's all well and good, but I'm not sure that in and of itself can be used as a comparison of how happy people are from year to year or place to place for a few reasons.

One of them might be cultural norms - in your country, or even region, how do people talk about their happiness? How do they weight it in their conversations? In the AF, if you're having a good day or even just not having problems, you're doing "outstanding".

On a scale of 1-10, is 10 pleased or falling on the floor overjoyed? Is 1 annoyed, or I'm starving in a ditch struggling to survive desperate? In England, someone might fire off a 1 because their soccer team lost last Sunday. In Cambodia, someone might fire off a 10 because they found some grain to steal while the party police weren't looking.

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http://amssolarempire.blogspot.com

My angle would be that he volunteered for military service. Some say control is an illusion. I say a person exerts control by the choices they make.

I do have empathy (understanding) of how difficult the consequences of some of our choices can be; but I stop short of granting victimhood (no control).

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Don of Borg - Cool, Calm, Collective.

"Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

The Dali knows his stuff.

There is the hand your dealt, and there is how you play it.

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Don of Borg - Cool, Calm, Collective.

"Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

But then you gotta explain why rich people have so many of the same problems as poor people.

Sure, they aren't as likely to starve to death, but they still commit suicide, beat their spouse & kids, fall into dangerous addictions, lie, cheat, steal, get depressed, and so on and so forth.

It seems to me that each level of needs conquered just sets a person up for failure at the next level, if they get cocky about it.

For example, once food, clothing & shelter are taken care of; taking those basic survival needs for granted makes a person more vulnerable to failing at the next level. And so on and so forth.

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Don of Borg - Cool, Calm, Collective.

"Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley