Well, I have happy news, anyway. Graham called last night; his leave is confirmed for May. He won't be home for his actual birthday, probably, but near enough to it for me!

__________________
Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

Excellent!

__________________
In Fallout 3, 'happiness' is a warm junkyard dog and a loaded gun. It's mostly the loaded gun.
- Moose's one-line review.

"your going to regret that one. You are now a colonoscope...
- Chrissy, corrupting PraedSt's wish.

Good deal. When's his deployment due to end?

That's great, Gillianren!

Just to clarify, now, this is the man who's serving his country's girl, right?

__________________
SeanF

"Ask to understand, but don't challenge unless you have the knowledge."--NEOWatcher

The contents of this post are ©2008 by SeanF and may not be copied or retransmitted in any form without the express written consent of SeanF

I'm sort of curious about what he's serving. Bacon and eggs in bed? Roast duck with mango salsa? A beer? Spam on toast? Inquiring minds and all that...

(Speaking of roast duck with mango salsa...)

__________________
In Fallout 3, 'happiness' is a warm junkyard dog and a loaded gun. It's mostly the loaded gun.
- Moose's one-line review.

"your going to regret that one. You are now a colonoscope...
- Chrissy, corrupting PraedSt's wish.

Happiness is a state of mind, you feel good the world feels good, you feel bad, the world is on your case.

Stay happy, much more positive approach to life, less possibility of early death.

__________________
Thank God for magnetism.

November, if the gods are kind. His hitch is scheduled to end next June, but we'll see about that, too. (And, yes, he's the one serving his country's girl. Knowing him, he's serving her potatoes, eggs, and leftovers fried together.)

__________________
Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

Early death? Later death?

What's the difference? We all still have to face it. How do you manage to put it out of your mind, by simply buffering some years between now & IT?

I say you gotta be ready to face it, fair & square, RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT.

Then, perhaps, you will overcome all your schizophrenias & get on with a rational peaceful life...maybe...

Been done. Pretty much what happened on Vulcan all summed up.

__________________
Spock Jenkins of the Vulcan Jenkins'.

In reference to the OP, I think the answer for myself lies in Necessities -> Purpose -> Companionship.

Necessities? No problem. Purpose? As an atheist, that's a bit harder, but I'm in the process of constructing a base. Companionship? Oof. That one needs major work. I'm an introvert who needs his time alone, but I also need regular human contact - and when that's not one of my talents, that's when the pain starts.

[/html]Sean means here is that when you have Bad Outlook in life you are most likely to acquire illnesses due to biochemical imbalance and worst... early death.

I doubt it. I think the biochemical imbalance is frequently the cause of unhappiness, but I've never seen evidence that happier people live longer.

__________________
Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

I don't have it handy but I've heard of evidence that less stressed people live longer. Does less stress equate to more happiness on some level?

__________________
1·618033988749894848204586834365638117720309179805 76286213544862270526046281890244970720720418939113 74

Maybe. I don't think it's a universal, though.

I know, however, that I'd be happier if people stopped telling me to keep a positive outlook!

__________________
Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

Not particularly. When I started this job with the architectural firm, my boss laid it out for me that this job was hardcore stress. Deadlines were hell, clients were unrealistic, and dealing with bureaucrats would make you nuts. The average person lasts about five years doing it before they move on. I'm coming up on my seven year anniversary here in two weeks, and this job hasn't cracked me yet. You've got two kinds of people when it comes to heavy stress, people who crack and fall to pieces when the pressure's on, and people who crystalize and never break. Personally, I think a lot of people get stressed by taking life personally. They expect straight answers, they expect courtesy, and the expect to never be disappointed, and when reality comes in with a sledgehammer to their little glass house, they get worked up. I started in like that and the first two years of this job were hell. Finally, after some things shook out in 2002, I just got over it. I adjusted my attitude on the headaches of this job and decided they weren't mine to put up with. At some point, I learned to accept that these stress points were just part of the overall game, and I've managed to distance myself from them enough that I've pretty much marginalized the effect on my life. I still get the occassional work related night terrors, but its months between incidents of them.

I wouldn't say I'm "happy" with the job, its still annoying, I just don't take it personally. I guess I came to the conclusion that "A crisis on your part is not a crisis on mine, but I'll look into it and get back to you anyway."

And for the private life: "There are no impossible solutions to problems, just really [insert choice combination of expletives] inconvenient ones."

I'll take two servings of the latter, please.

__________________
I am Mugs, of the Alien clan of Usa, Nordamerica, a Terran, of Sol. A human.

Whoever says "perception is reality" is daft. It's merely an abstraction, and often not a very good one.

I think that Whirlpool is less than tactful with the responses, but does have a point. There is, even if it doesn't seem obvious, a choice to sit and count the things that make you feel cheated out of happiness. On the other hand, sometimes it feels better to wallow (really for lack of a better term) or sometimes it is so distracting, that's all you have the energy to do. Either way, calling it whining, is a little cold. I planned on wallowing today. My friend just came back from Mississippi a couple of weeks ago and I thought he was here to stay, then I came to find out yesterday that he is moving back for good, and he left last night. I understand why he has to, but can't help feeling a bit cheated. However, it is a rainy day today, there is nothing for the kids to do, so I am going to take them rollerskating. Getting out of the house and doing something with them is going to be a nice distraction. I imagine, if I keep myself busy enough, eventually, I will get used to not having him around. Everyone has things in their life that can trigger negative feelings. They vary in many aspects. Missing someone you love can become all encompassing (been dying to use that phrase). Then the many other factors that go along with having someone you love in a war-zone to boot. I think Gil is in need of feeling like others care and that is where Gil's friends come in. Perhaps, Gil put it out on the boards in hopes of hearing that someone else is going through something similar, or maybe just to hear a kind word from a stranger. Possibly, this threat brought on a lot of sad thoughts. Get over it, doesn't help much.
Gil I hope everything turns out exactly how you need it to. For what it's worth, my thoughts are with you!

I'll say from experience, I am happier being poor. Not to say I would turn down the prospect of wealth, but if you are unhappy before the money, nothing after the fact will change. When you have little money to spare, appreciation for the simple things is so much stronger. I have never experienced superwealth. The family I work for, just spent $10,000 american on hangers. I hardly think a trip to the park with a bagged lunch of PB&J and Cheetos, would appeal to them, but I look forward to moments like that. I had moderate wealth for a while. The first in a series of checks from a lawsuit allowed me to not work and live like a rockstar for two years and I was not nearly as happy as I am now. I am guessing it has to do with purpose, which I think we all need, and being forced to move, even when you don't want to.

This is an apology for my last post. I should have read further before I responded. Whirlpool, I am sorry for your loss. I need to point out that I said the response seemed cold, not you.

I don't fully understand clinical depression. Sometimes I think I suffer from it, but that is when the dark half of me seems to thrive. There is a feeling of loss with no cause, it just feels like a weight on my chest. At times it is a total absence of feelings. Like I am completely disconnected from everyone around me. I feel so low and angry that I finally decide it is time to talk to a professional. Then, without warning, it goes away and I have a day or two of pure elation. The kind that makes you giggle for no reason, or even skip, reguardless of how silly I look. Like an overwhelming happiness, to the point where I cry at the slightest kind gesture. Then it goes back to that feeling of nothingness for a few weeks. Sooner or later, it goes back down to the pits. It's like there is a side of me that really wants to be happy and fights the darkness but can only hold on for a couple of days. Sometimes I think I make myself go down as an alternative to the emptiness. Sometimes I would rather feel sadness than nothing at all. What is up with that?