Columnist Lewis Grizzard wrote, "Having a newspaper column is like being married to a nymphomaniac. The first two weeks are fun."

I've also heard that Einstein didn't bother to memorize his own phone number in order to keep him memory clear for more important work. After all, why memorize what you can always look up in a phone book?

I use a similar defense with my wife, but she just thinks I'm lazy.

Haha cross! Aint that the dream! And Gillian: yeah you're right I won't deny that. But it's fun to play with stereotypes (as long as you don't truely believe them) and the stereotypical golddigger is female.

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I'm like one of those idiot savants...well, except for the savant part.

Well, yes; when they're male, they're called "gigolos."

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

Forget about the liquir store. Swap for a daddy who used to be a synth pioneer. Forget about the bass boat. Swap for a private jet. As in jet fighter. No comments on the rich and nymphomaniac aspects.

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To the regular visitor of internet bulletin boards it is clear that it's an excellent idea your parents get to choose your real name.