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  #241 (permalink)  
Old 21-July-2008, 03:03 PM
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I think I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't see it when I read the article.
As you see, I didn't catch it first time through either.
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  #242 (permalink)  
Old 22-July-2008, 08:35 PM
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I saw one in the local paper this morning. It's probably online, but I'm not going to link to it because it's an obituary and it seems somehow unkind.

Suffice it to say that the young woman died "unexpectantly."
So she wasn't pregnant?
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  #243 (permalink)  
Old 25-July-2008, 03:13 PM
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Two from this one...
Nebraska company grades employees on how healthy they are

First: a typo...
Quote:
Most unusual of all: The company requires all employees to undergo quarterly checkups measuring weight, body fat and flexibility. It also conducts annual blood, vision and heating tests.
How do they do that? With a Sauna? Wake them walk across hot coals?

Second:
Quote:
For employees, reaching platinum means a three-day, company-paid trip each summer to climb a 14,000-foot peak in Colorado.
So; let me get this straight.
If I do a good job, you make me climb a mountain?
There's got to be some further incentive in that one... send me to a beach instead.
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  #244 (permalink)  
Old 25-July-2008, 03:28 PM
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Originally Posted by NEOWatcher View Post

First: a typo...

How do they do that? With a Sauna? Wake them walk across hot coals?
Thanks for supplying that typo off the bat--good to get it out of the way first.

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Originally Posted by NEOWatcher View Post
There's got to be some further incentive in that one... send me to a beach instead.
Exactly; they need to go show off those hot company bods.
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  #245 (permalink)  
Old 25-July-2008, 04:11 PM
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Thanks for supplying that typo off the bat--good to get it out of the way first.
Dagnabbit. That's what happens when you loosely nail the M up on the board at a point below it's center of gravity.

Although; it would wake me up.
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  #246 (permalink)  
Old 25-July-2008, 06:19 PM
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Caught this in our newspaper the other day...
'MonoMobile" inventors promote a new age of commuting
It's an electric car that you drive onto a monorail for the majority of your commute.
Interesting (yet expensive) concept... But what caught my eye was in the insert (PDF here)
Quote:
The car should cost the equivalent of about 80 cents per gallon to operate.
Huh?
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  #247 (permalink)  
Old 01-August-2008, 10:59 AM
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Maybe he shouldn't have moved to Colorado...

Quote:
Soaring fuel bill hits BA profits
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7536570.stm
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  #248 (permalink)  
Old 01-August-2008, 06:34 PM
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Well; this one is more of a great quote than a "read again".

It's in the followup story of the 44 pound cat that now has a dispute about how it left the owner.

Ask a stupid question and...
Quote:
When asked about how the cat got so big, the former owner replied, "I guess he ate a lot of food."
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  #249 (permalink)  
Old 01-August-2008, 07:03 PM
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I like how there's no consistency in the cat's gender in the stories.
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  #250 (permalink)  
Old 06-August-2008, 04:01 PM
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From the "never give up" department...

Chilling Ad To Alert Ohioans About Severe Flu Outbreak

Starts off with:
Quote:
The Ohio Department of Health is trying to get your attention with its chilling radio and television ads warning what a severe flu outbreak would look like. Health officials want the public to be prepared if the pandemic flu takes over like it has in the past.
And ends with:
Quote:
Ads having been running for two years but health officials said they didn't think the public noticed.
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  #251 (permalink)  
Old 11-August-2008, 04:36 PM
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And now to the Department of Redundancies Department.

Police: Armed Child Robs Walgreens
Quote:
Orlando Police said an 11-year-old robbed a Walgreen’s “armed” with two fake BB guns.
If they were BB guns, then call them that... If you want to say they looked like real guns but were not, then say that. But; fake BB guns? What's that?

Busy traffic circle to close
Quote:
Business owners said the lost traffic is forcing them to close for several days. They said they could lose a lot of money.

"I'm going to shut down for three days. I'm going to lose a lot of money," said Debbie Welden, Jubilee Donuts owner.
Just in case you didn't believe that an owner could say that...
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  #252 (permalink)  
Old 11-August-2008, 05:06 PM
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That's an outrage! It's time we protest any store that sells fake fake guns and markets them towards children! As a US citizen and potential future parent, I am outraged! We should all demonstrate our outrage against stores that sell these novelties!

And, your uncalled for sarcasm aside, I for one am glad to learn that closing a shop can lead to less sales. The fact that a store sells less when it is closed than it does when it is open is something I'm happy to have learned.
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  #253 (permalink)  
Old 11-August-2008, 07:53 PM
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I didn't know dancing was that dangerous...

Atlanta airport responds to soft shoe accidents

Oh, crocs and flip-flops...
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  #254 (permalink)  
Old 11-August-2008, 07:57 PM
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I didn't know dancing was that dangerous...

Atlanta airport responds to soft shoe accidents

Oh, crocs and flip-flops...
Well, honestly if I attempted to soft-shoe in the middle of an airport, it would probably cause a lot of people to get sick and I'd likely be arrested for inducing mass panic.
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Theory of Zombie Relativity:
1) Everyone Else is a Zombie relative to You
2) Whether or not it matters is related to the inverse square of the distance between their teeth and your brain
(Quoted from Demigrog)
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  #255 (permalink)  
Old 12-August-2008, 08:15 PM
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http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,402281,00.html

Report: French Teen Suffocates After Parents Lock Him in Hot Car Overnight


ok, I read the title and am thinking, this sounds like that joke about the band members calling a locksmith because the car is locked and they need to let the drummer out.

But, it turns out to be a new "high security" car that can't be opened from the inside.

gee...not sure I'd want that car.
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  #256 (permalink)  
Old 13-August-2008, 12:00 PM
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But, it turns out to be a new "high security" car that can't be opened from the inside.
Yikes, what the heck use could that be?
Maybe only a portion of the car was accessible to him? Me thinks thars much more to this story. Obviously people with means.
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  #257 (permalink)  
Old 13-August-2008, 12:44 PM
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I've seen lots of cars with locks intended to prevent a child from opening the doors and falling out while driving, could be one of those.
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  #258 (permalink)  
Old 13-August-2008, 02:23 PM
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I've seen lots of cars with locks intended to prevent a child from opening the doors and falling out while driving, could be one of those.
Yes; but a 13 year old would (I hope) be smart enough to go to the front seat. I've only ever seen those on rear doors.
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  #259 (permalink)  
Old 13-August-2008, 02:38 PM
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