Dangerously Chewy

It's always a good sign when they can't specifically list the injuries.

Oh, there we go.

I think hundreds of thousands have enjoyed these candies sans incident (except the occasionally fillin-pull or kid-with-braces, but that's all sticky-chewy food, not just starburst).

I mean, of course theres no possible way that she had an underlying medical issue that would have been aggravated by anything. No, her perfectly healthy jaw must have been destroyed by these evil little fruit chews!

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I'm like one of those idiot savants...well, except for the savant part.

Wow; the effect must build. The first two chews didn't give any indication of how hard it was.

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Numbers are not case sensitive. (me)

Sounds like she has a weak jaw.

I have bitten in to one or two of those in my time. I have also had some that were really hard. Usually the ones that were left in the car overnight in the winter. Michigan huh? I wonder what month. You know, if you wait a bit for them to soften it's really not a big deal at all.

But this makes me wonder if I could sue every place I've ever had scrambled eggs for that token green thing that seems to always be in them. Just eggs, not eggs a bit of green pepper, or parsley leaf. Eggs. Three cells per omelet.

Or all those times I got my mustache caught in the tab used to pop open the soda cans. Dangling a full can of Dew from one hair in your 'stache will bring tears to your eyes.

The only thing I can see in her favor is the amount is reasonable. After the lawyer takes their 40% she's not really going to have much at all. Maybe she's only after the money to cover the med bills. Or she's decided that they won't see the need to fight it and just pay her off to go away.

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I'm not evil.
An evil person would do the things I think up.

Probably a good thing!

When, where, and how was Starburst ever touted as "soft"?
Fruit chew, juicy chew, but not soft.

Video of her here

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Numbers are not case sensitive. (me)

...and I thought I was the only one who has had this "trouble".

Except in my case it doesn't "dangle", it just pulls the hair out!

The question is, did the Starburst have a wrapper on it?

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

All we know is, it didn't have a warning label*








*Actual chewiness may vary

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PW -- Plant Whisperer

Well, at least the candy didn't tell her the Earth was about to be destroyed and she should go out and kill her dog.

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At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

One Earth, One Sky - IYA 2009

Really? I thought it did that for everyone...

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The quarrelsome oarsmen were rowing,
The great violinist was bowing;
But how is the sage
To tell, from the page:
Was it pigs or seeds that were sowing?

It just got a little more ridiculous...

According to this article...It wasn't the chewing, it was the fact that it was sticky.
I never realized candies or sugars could be sticky.

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Numbers are not case sensitive. (me)

I never realized candies or sugars could be sticky.
Again, did she ever stop to think that Starbust are rather popular candies? I'd venture to say that hundreds of thousands of people eat them each year, without incident.

Logically, that would lead me to believe her TMJ was a pre-existing condition, perhaps aggravated by the candy, but far from caused by it.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I forgot logic has no place in news or in the court system (doubly when dealing with tort law and not criminal). How stupid of me.

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I'm like one of those idiot savants...well, except for the savant part.

I wonder if she's any relation to Cletus.

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"Probably the last sound heard before the universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying 'What happens if I do this?'"

"Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring. Nobody listens to you."

Focus, Fazor, focus. The savant-part is in there somewhere

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PW -- Plant Whisperer

Actually, I ate Starburst all the time when I was pregnant--for some reason, they helped with my morning sickness.

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

There's another warning label they need to put on Starbursts: they're ineffective as birth-control!*



*And the evidence that they help with morning sickness is completely anecdotal

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PW -- Plant Whisperer

Really??? I thought it sounded more like a case of weak brain...

you just flashed on that, didn't you?

as for the bone-head with the greedy lawyer. They do claim to have asked Mars for a settlement, then filed the suit when Mars told them to stuff it. I agree with Mars. Everybody on the planet knows that eating candy is bad for you. It's worse for some than it is for others. Mrs Dingleberry is obviously at the short end of the bell curve.

I should also note: she didn't seem to have any problem at all when talking to the press.

All "things that help with morning sickness," pretty much, are anecdotal. Not a lot of studies done.

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"