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Hey Smeaton, I'm closing in on fifty and I wish I could tell some of the funnier things I've experienced with roomies.
But I know about that eating thing. When an old friend of mine finally got a steady girlfriend, some time later I was having dinner with him at my parents house. Something was wierd and I couldn't put my finger on it. Then it hit me and was so funny I laughed out loud. He was actually eating with his mouth closed! The man is fiftythree and just seemed to have learned that last year. Used to be when he ate it sounded like someone had backed a running wood chipper into a swamp. When I was rooming with him back in the 80's it was so bad I couldn't be in the same room with him while he ate, even if I wasn't eating. Ah, what a woman can do to a man.
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Gimme a minute to read through Jay's latest observations... |
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yea, I have a room mate like that now. He sounds like a plunger when he eats.
The worst roommate though was back in 97 before I finished my Bachelors. We shared a dorm room and had no walls between us. He smoked terribly and started doing drugs. Plus he would have a girl over a lot and lock me out. That was frustrating. What made things worse was that the drugs made him very paranoid and he started accusing me of spying on him and worse. Luckily that only lasted a while before I moved out.
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"I will do my best to understand and explain the universe from big to small without invoking miracles, unrepeatable events, or divine intervention. In place of those things I will use observations, mathematics, and science." -Cross My travel blog Some of my Astrophotography Those that lack education have a hard time understanding its value. - Cross |
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At least he waited til you were gone and locked you out. I've had some (In the Navy) that didn't care. I'd wake up and be like "Oh, man! Take that outside!"
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Gimme a minute to read through Jay's latest observations... |
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I've never really had a roommate that wasn't a girlfriend as well, unless you count the 55 other guys in my platoon in army basic training. Of those, I wouldn't say that most were bad, but there were many that were colorful.
One would sit up in bed, while sound asleep, an call out two lines of a marching cadence at the top of his lungs. Another would give a real time play by play of hockey games in his sleep. He'd play the announcer, but in the dreams he'd be on the ice so he'd refer to himself in the third person. To his credit, he wasn't always the star of the game. One night there was a huge brawl on the ice and he woke up with a black eye. The idiot they assigned to be my buddy had the top bunk, but h would constantly bounce one foot. He absolutely could not hold still. The bed shook all night long and standing in line for weapon turn in the sight from his rifle used to bounce around about an inch in front of my eye. There was the guy that used to ask himself questions in the third person, then answer them, then thank himself for the answer. Last was the guy that needed to be the toughest one there, so he'd pick on all the weaker people. He started by picking on everyone but that stopped when he almost got his back broken when a guy from somewhere deep in the Alabama woods arched him over the grip of an M-60 machine gun. He stopped picking on the weaker people when one of the weakest delivered a fear inspired, adrenaline fueled kick to the guy's daddy bits. As one witness described it. "Smith (not his real name) lifted him up about two feet with that kick." When the bully finally managed to crawl up stairs, there were about 25 guys telling him that touching another person in that company would be "bad".
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I'm not evil. An evil person would do the things I think up. |
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I'm not saying that didn't happen too. It was rarer though. Or sometimes when his girl wansn't there it was pornography night. GREAT ![]() When 80 Gig hard drives first came out his stepdad got one for Christmas. It was his goal to fill it with pornography before school was out. ![]() This was also the guy that would borrow my clothes wear them to a party and come home without. I didn't have a winter jacket for several weeks. His parents at least did have money and he paid me cash for the jacket - some time later of course. It wasn't limited to jackets though.
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"I will do my best to understand and explain the universe from big to small without invoking miracles, unrepeatable events, or divine intervention. In place of those things I will use observations, mathematics, and science." -Cross My travel blog Some of my Astrophotography Those that lack education have a hard time understanding its value. - Cross |
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Those are classics you should write a book![]() Last edited by mfumbesi; 17-July-2007 at 01:20 PM. |
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Hey Tog, are you sure that was his foot he was bouncing? ![]()
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Gimme a minute to read through Jay's latest observations... |
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I am my worst roommate. I am such as slob, I am always having to tidy up after myself and I never do the washing, it's always me that has to do it. As for the shopping, if it wasn't for me, I would starve!
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'The eye can only see what the mind is prepared to accept' |
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of this situation. Except in both cases I was the visiting party -- it was the girls who decided to treat their roommates to the... umm... noise. Who was I to say no?
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Fiction has to be plausible. Reality is under no such constraint. |
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and you are still wearing them. I had a drunk roommate open my bag once and pee in it. Of course he was too hungover the next day to even clean up the mess ![]()
__________________
"I will do my best to understand and explain the universe from big to small without invoking miracles, unrepeatable events, or divine intervention. In place of those things I will use observations, mathematics, and science." -Cross My travel blog Some of my Astrophotography Those that lack education have a hard time understanding its value. - Cross |
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Reading this, I'm glad I used to have housemates rather than roommates, and now live completely independent...
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To the regular visitor of internet bulletin boards it is clear that it's an excellent idea your parents get to choose your real name. |
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I have allways had Women as roomates as I can get along better with the opposite sex. I had one tho that really surprised me. She was a very good looking girl allways kept herself up when in public but man could that girl FART.
Everytime we were alone she would rip out this very loud blasts and the SMELL. there were times I had to run away and I am not kidding. |
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