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This morning when I went into my coffee shop, I placed my coffee cup on the counter, Picturedlike I always do, when the barista asked me to take my top off
![]() I did wonder why I needed to remove my jacket and shirt, but then she referred to the top of my coffee cup. , Now if the coffee shop person had been male, and me female (persih the thought) that could even be worse. In fact I believe there is just such a Youtube video floating around, where the guy is referring to the lid of a bottle of coke and the lady mishears and strips off. So has anyone else had any double take instructions like what I had today
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Modern-day arrow quivers often have a zippered pouch sewn onto their outsides to hold accessories. While walking behind a female archer at Griffith Park's outdoor roving range, I saw that her quiver's pouch was open and announced, "Your zipper's down...", quickly adding "...on your quiver!" after I saw her free hand frantically reaching for her waistband.
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"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction." Shakespeare, Twelfth Night "The Mayan symbol for "book" looks a lot like a triple hamburger, but I've never seen them claiming it as proof the Mayans had Big Macs." - KaiYeves "Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort |
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Many years ago there was an Australian exchange student in the local school near me who needed an eraser. He proceeded to ask the teacher for an eraser, but instead of saying "eraser", he used the other word that has several meanings.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. |
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If you are referring to vulcanized tree sap (or the synthetic equivalent), it's interesting to note that the name originated from one of its first usages, rubbing out pencil marks. In other words, as an eraser.
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Cum catapultae proscribeantur tum soli proscripti catapultas habeant. |
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Ugh. I've been down the awkward road before. I was ordering a coffee at the Tim Hortons in the student union last year. I asked for "two sugars." Now, the young lady serving me apparently heard "two sugar." No "s." This was as she was reaching for the paper cup. She looks at me for half a second, grabs a second cup, puts it in the first, fills the cup, then "accidentally" pours coffee on my hand. She apologizes and I walk away, thinking nothing of it. Then I sip the coffee. No sugar.
Oh, nuts. Apparently she thought I was being a letch and asking for two paper cups while calling her "sugar." I was not pleased - her job is to make coffee and put sugar in things! Put two and two together!
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Quaeso quousque humi defixa tua mens erit? Nonne aspicis, quae in templa veneris? |
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"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction." Shakespeare, Twelfth Night "The Mayan symbol for "book" looks a lot like a triple hamburger, but I've never seen them claiming it as proof the Mayans had Big Macs." - KaiYeves "Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort |
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Recently, a co-worker came into work during her off hours to retrieve something she'd left there. In our spartan environment, one doesn't wear much make-up, jewelry, etc... So, with many people around, I told her she looked really different with clothes on.
To uproarious laughter. I meant to say in normal clothes, not in a uniform ![]()
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"I have this theory that the Apollo missions were faked when NASA found out that general relativity was wrong because the Earth was expanding due to the Sun's iron core being influenced by magnetic waves from the electric universe after being perturbed by Planet X and thereby causing global warming. Where should I start a thread about this?" ~ ToSeek "Those are the people that wonder how a thermos knows whether to keep something hot or keep something cold." ~ NeoWatcher |
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook |
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One day in a Junior High class, we were reading out loud from the text book. I had a line about some animal having two tentacles when I accidentally replaced the word tentacles with a similar sounding word for male reproductive organs. The class all got guite the laugh from the mistake.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook |
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There is the old chestnut of a school teacher going up to someone she suspects is the father of one of the pupils in her class and asking "Are you the father of one of my children?"
Getting back to my OP I did wonder, if I had not been wearing a jacket and instantly took my shirt off, before she clarified that she was referring to my coffee cup, would I have been banned.
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Had that happen today, I used the word "impregnated" and apparently the other person hadn't heard it used outside of a reproductive context. Fortunately she asked for a clarification first.
I intentionally did it to my wife a few days ago when she asked how school was going. I told her that we learned that parents couldn't died until the child was confirmed to have been killed. (Computer processes of course. )Computer science is so fun, where else can you finger somebody and not get in trouble? You have free reign to kill things. You have demons serving you. (That's how many people hear/interpret it.) etc. Last edited by Captain Kidd; 26-October-2007 at 08:34 PM.. Reason: Hit submit too soon. |
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My last name is Lovaas and is pronounces low-viss (rhyme with hiss). I was at a video rental store and the clerk asked my last name, which I told her and she typed into the computer. She then asked my first name so i told her Paul. Apparently, she didn't find any entry so she asked me to spell it. Obviously, she meant my last name but I wasn't paying attention so I spelled the last thing I had said. P-a-u-l. My buddy started laughing, I was a bit embarrsed, and the clerk gave me a look like I was an idiot.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook |
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A magician came to our school back in sixth grade. My hair is short, and he asked if any of us knew who Hermes was. I raised my hand.
"Yes, they boy in the striped shirt." "The Greek god of trickery. And I'm a girl." The whole auditorium laughed. Once, I fell down laughing on the way to the bathroom and ruined my pants and the floor. But I don't like to talk about that.
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I want to go back to the moon. I don't care which rocket you use, whichever one you pick, I'll like it, I swear. "If you think the LHC will create black holes, you might as well believe Hobbits are at the bottom of your garden."- Dr. Mike Inglis Rovers forever! - ToSeek |
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Keeper of the Jabberwock |
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From Kim Possible:
Shego: Junior, you're acting like an wounded tortoise! Senior: Junior, get in here! Junior: Not now, father. I'm busy being a wounded porpoise. Shego: Tortoise. Tuh, tuh.
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I want to go back to the moon. I don't care which rocket you use, whichever one you pick, I'll like it, I swear. "If you think the LHC will create black holes, you might as well believe Hobbits are at the bottom of your garden."- Dr. Mike Inglis Rovers forever! - ToSeek |
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Many years ago on BBC Radio 4's Today programme, the presenter John Humphrey's was interviewing a native American, who during the interview referred to a pauper's grave to which John Humphrey's asked, "did they really bury porpoises?" He was awarded the foot in mouth award by some plain English Campaign the following week and was ridiculed to his face. I heard both incidents and it was hilarious. ![]()
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Sound to me like you might have a thing for the coffee lady, but you missed a great opportunity to make her laugh, or possible get slapped. You should have said.... "you first" ![]()
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Scienara: A rejection of reason and evidence. |
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She happens to be the manager, so I did not want to get banned.
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Many, many, many years ago when I was in high school, in a class on public speaking a girl who obviously hadn't practiced her speech out loud said in reference to Europe "I have never been abroad". The class almost died laughing!
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Any day you wake up on "the right side of the dirt" is a good day. T. Anderson |
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If it's just us, it seems like an awful waste of space. Contact Carl Sagan http://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/ |
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We had just put together the finishing touches on the play and were discussing costumes and clothing styles. Eventually the subject drifted onto black clothes and I, in front of about 30 people, said in a very disapproving tone "I'm really not a black person"
:s
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"Bessie Braddock to Churchill "Winston, your drunk!" Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober"" the solar system |
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He tells the tale of going into a deli in London and asking for a pound of their finest Columbian (coffee) and he saw quite a few people in there going huh?
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Moderations in purple Fame, glory, adventure, a cyber warrior craves not these things. To report a post (even this one) to the moderation team, click the reporting icon in the upper-right corner of the post: ![]() ───────────────────────────────────────────── ◄ Rules For Posting To This Board ► ◄ Forum FAQs ► ◄ Conspiracy Theory Advice ► ◄ Alternate Theory Advice ► |
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Only a stoner would think to use such a common request as an unbreakable code-phrase. A criminal mastermind at work!
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"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction." Shakespeare, Twelfth Night "The Mayan symbol for "book" looks a lot like a triple hamburger, but I've never seen them claiming it as proof the Mayans had Big Macs." - KaiYeves "Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort |
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