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Old 26-October-2007, 08:34 AM
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Red face Embarassing misunderstandings
This morning when I went into my coffee shop, I placed my coffee cup on the counter, Picturedlike I always do, when the barista asked me to take my top off

I did wonder why I needed to remove my jacket and shirt, but then she referred to the top of my coffee cup. ,

Now if the coffee shop person had been male, and me female (persih the thought) that could even be worse. In fact I believe there is just such a Youtube video floating around, where the guy is referring to the lid of a bottle of coke and the lady mishears and strips off.

So has anyone else had any double take instructions like what I had today
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Old 26-October-2007, 03:23 PM
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Modern-day arrow quivers often have a zippered pouch sewn onto their outsides to hold accessories. While walking behind a female archer at Griffith Park's outdoor roving range, I saw that her quiver's pouch was open and announced, "Your zipper's down...", quickly adding "...on your quiver!" after I saw her free hand frantically reaching for her waistband.
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Old 26-October-2007, 03:24 PM
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There's one or two, but I can't say them here.
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Old 26-October-2007, 04:06 PM
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There's one or two, but I can't say them here.
Aw go ahead. We haven't had a banning in a day or two.
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Old 26-October-2007, 04:10 PM
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Aw go ahead. We haven't had a banning in a day or two.

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Old 26-October-2007, 04:37 PM
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Many years ago there was an Australian exchange student in the local school near me who needed an eraser. He proceeded to ask the teacher for an eraser, but instead of saying "eraser", he used the other word that has several meanings.

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Old 26-October-2007, 05:12 PM
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If you are referring to vulcanized tree sap (or the synthetic equivalent), it's interesting to note that the name originated from one of its first usages, rubbing out pencil marks. In other words, as an eraser.
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Old 26-October-2007, 05:41 PM
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Ugh. I've been down the awkward road before. I was ordering a coffee at the Tim Hortons in the student union last year. I asked for "two sugars." Now, the young lady serving me apparently heard "two sugar." No "s." This was as she was reaching for the paper cup. She looks at me for half a second, grabs a second cup, puts it in the first, fills the cup, then "accidentally" pours coffee on my hand. She apologizes and I walk away, thinking nothing of it. Then I sip the coffee. No sugar.

Oh, nuts.

Apparently she thought I was being a letch and asking for two paper cups while calling her "sugar." I was not pleased - her job is to make coffee and put sugar in things! Put two and two together!
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Old 26-October-2007, 05:44 PM
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I was not pleased - her job is to make coffee and put sugar in things! Put two and two together!
If she was that good at reasoning and higher math would she be pouring coffee for a living?
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Old 26-October-2007, 05:51 PM
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That Tim's, being on campus and in the student union, employs students. She really should know better.
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Old 26-October-2007, 07:29 PM
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...her job is to make coffee and put sugar in things...
Wow---talk about inventory control!
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Old 26-October-2007, 07:30 PM
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Recently, a co-worker came into work during her off hours to retrieve something she'd left there. In our spartan environment, one doesn't wear much make-up, jewelry, etc... So, with many people around, I told her she looked really different with clothes on.

To uproarious laughter.

I meant to say in normal clothes, not in a uniform
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Old 26-October-2007, 07:33 PM
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Many years ago there was an Australian exchange student in the local school near me who needed an eraser. He proceeded to ask the teacher for an eraser, but instead of saying "eraser", he used the other word that has several meanings.
So, was it a used eraser?
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Old 26-October-2007, 08:13 PM
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Recently, a co-worker came into work during her off hours to retrieve something she'd left there. In our spartan environment, one doesn't wear much make-up, jewelry, etc... So, with many people around, I told her she looked really different with clothes on.

To uproarious laughter.

I meant to say in normal clothes, not in a uniform
My wife and I do some similar all the time. She's a lifeguard so people usually see her in a swimsuit with her hair in a bun or ponytail. When seeing her somewhere else, they usually remark that they had trouble recognizing her. One of us then makes the comment that she looks different with clothes on. We also say it loud enough that nearby people with no idea of the context can get weird looks on their faces.
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Old 26-October-2007, 08:16 PM
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One day in a Junior High class, we were reading out loud from the text book. I had a line about some animal having two tentacles when I accidentally replaced the word tentacles with a similar sounding word for male reproductive organs. The class all got guite the laugh from the mistake.
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Old 26-October-2007, 08:19 PM
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There is the old chestnut of a school teacher going up to someone she suspects is the father of one of the pupils in her class and asking "Are you the father of one of my children?"

Getting back to my OP I did wonder, if I had not been wearing a jacket and instantly took my shirt off, before she clarified that she was referring to my coffee cup, would I have been banned.
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Old 26-October-2007, 08:27 PM
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Had that happen today, I used the word "impregnated" and apparently the other person hadn't heard it used outside of a reproductive context. Fortunately she asked for a clarification first.

I intentionally did it to my wife a few days ago when she asked how school was going. I told her that we learned that parents couldn't died until the child was confirmed to have been killed. (Computer processes of course. )

Computer science is so fun, where else can you finger somebody and not get in trouble?
You have free reign to kill things.
You have demons serving you. (That's how many people hear/interpret it.)
etc.
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Old 26-October-2007, 08:28 PM
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My last name is Lovaas and is pronounces low-viss (rhyme with hiss). I was at a video rental store and the clerk asked my last name, which I told her and she typed into the computer. She then asked my first name so i told her Paul. Apparently, she didn't find any entry so she asked me to spell it. Obviously, she meant my last name but I wasn't paying attention so I spelled the last thing I had said. P-a-u-l. My buddy started laughing, I was a bit embarrsed, and the clerk gave me a look like I was an idiot.
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Old 26-October-2007, 11:23 PM
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A magician came to our school back in sixth grade. My hair is short, and he asked if any of us knew who Hermes was. I raised my hand.
"Yes, they boy in the striped shirt."
"The Greek god of trickery. And I'm a girl."
The whole auditorium laughed.

Once, I fell down laughing on the way to the bathroom and ruined my pants and the floor. But I don't like to talk about that.
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Old 27-October-2007, 01:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lurking Nerd View Post
One day in a Junior High class, we were reading out loud from the text book. I had a line about some animal having two tentacles when I accidentally replaced the word tentacles with a similar sounding word for male reproductive organs. The class all got guite the laugh from the mistake.
Hey, now, that word is a perfectly respectable scientific word!

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Monique Junot: He keeps putting his testicles all over me.
Lane Myer: Excuse me?
Monique Junot: You know, like octopus? Testicles?
Lane Myer: Ohhhh. Tentacles. N-T.
The look on Lane's face on that first line perfectly delivers the joke.
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Old 27-October-2007, 02:05 AM
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From Kim Possible:
Shego: Junior, you're acting like an wounded tortoise!
Senior: Junior, get in here!
Junior: Not now, father. I'm busy being a wounded porpoise.
Shego: Tortoise. Tuh, tuh.
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Old 27-October-2007, 06:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaiYeves View Post
From Kim Possible:
Shego: Junior, you're acting like an wounded tortoise!
Senior: Junior, get in here!
Junior: Not now, father. I'm busy being a wounded porpoise.
Shego: Tortoise. Tuh, tuh.

Many years ago on BBC Radio 4's Today programme, the presenter John Humphrey's was interviewing a native American, who during the interview referred to a pauper's grave to which John Humphrey's asked, "did they really bury porpoises?"

He was awarded the foot in mouth award by some plain English Campaign the following week and was ridiculed to his face.

I heard both incidents and it was hilarious.
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Old 27-October-2007, 09:09 AM
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This morning when I went into my coffee shop, I placed my coffee cup on the counter, Picturedlike I always do, when the barista asked me to take my top off

I did wonder why I needed to remove my jacket and shirt, but then she referred to the top of my coffee cup. ,
I don't know about across the pond, but in the good old USA men do not wear 'tops', that term is reserved for female clothing.

Sound to me like you might have a thing for the coffee lady, but you missed a great opportunity to make her laugh, or possible get slapped.

You should have said.... "you first"
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Old 27-October-2007, 09:34 AM
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She happens to be the manager, so I did not want to get banned.
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Old 27-October-2007, 09:46 AM
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Many, many, many years ago when I was in high school, in a class on public speaking a girl who obviously hadn't practiced her speech out loud said in reference to Europe "I have never been abroad". The class almost died laughing!
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Old 28-October-2007, 02:06 PM
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Ugh. I've been down the awkward road before. I was ordering a coffee at the Tim Hortons in the student union last year. I asked for "two sugars." Now, the young lady serving me apparently heard "two sugar." No "s." This was as she was reaching for the paper cup. She looks at me for half a second, grabs a second cup, puts it in the first, fills the cup, then "accidentally" pours coffee on my hand. She apologizes and I walk away, thinking nothing of it. Then I sip the coffee. No sugar.

Oh, nuts.

Apparently she thought I was being a letch and asking for two paper cups while calling her "sugar." I was not pleased - her job is to make coffee and put sugar in things! Put two and two together!
This kind of reminds of a story. At a Tim Hortons' in Halfax one person was selling more then donuts, pot. When a person asked for thirteen donuts they would slip the pot in the box. One night a cop pulls up to drive-thru window an asks for thirtenn donuts, and not seeing who was at the drive thru the person placed it in the box and was busted.
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Old 28-October-2007, 02:16 PM
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We had just put together the finishing touches on the play and were discussing costumes and clothing styles. Eventually the subject drifted onto black clothes and I, in front of about 30 people, said in a very disapproving tone "I'm really not a black person"

:s
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Old 28-October-2007, 03:16 PM
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Originally Posted by davidlpf View Post
This kind of reminds of a story. At a Tim Hortons' in Halfax one person was selling more then donuts, pot. When a person asked for thirteen donuts they would slip the pot in the box. One night a cop pulls up to drive-thru window an asks for thirtenn donuts, and not seeing who was at the drive thru the person placed it in the box and was busted.
This reminds me of a story friend of mine from Aberdeen in Scotland told. My Friend and I enjoy good coffee as opposed to instant.

He tells the tale of going into a deli in London and asking for a pound of their finest Columbian (coffee) and he saw quite a few people in there going huh?
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Old 28-October-2007, 07:19 PM
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This kind of reminds of a story. At a Tim Hortons' in Halfax one person was selling more then donuts, pot. When a person asked for thirteen donuts they would slip the pot in the box. One night a cop pulls up to drive-thru window an asks for thirtenn donuts, and not seeing who was at the drive thru the person placed it in the box and was busted.
Only a stoner would think to use such a common request as an unbreakable code-phrase. A criminal mastermind at work!
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Old 28-October-2007, 07:39 PM
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Wow. Sounds like he got what he deserved for his stupidity.
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