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  #181 (permalink)  
Old 30-December-2007, 07:37 PM
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Some people say that anagrams reveal secret knowledge. For example, rearanging the letters in "Princess Diana" gives you "ascend in Paris" and rearanging the letters in "George Bush" gives you "He bugs Gore".
But are we really supposed to believe that the Loch Ness Monster "Censors Menthols"?
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  #182 (permalink)  
Old 30-December-2007, 08:39 PM
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Quote:
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But are we really supposed to believe that the Loch Ness Monster "Censors Menthols"?
Of course! A plesiosaur would have bad memories of smoke, that's what killed off all the other dinosaurs.
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  #183 (permalink)  
Old 31-December-2007, 12:29 AM
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But do you think the Loch Ness Monster "Shelters Noncoms"?
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Steve Squyers built Spirit and Opportunity
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  #184 (permalink)  
Old 31-December-2007, 01:12 AM
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But do you think the Loch Ness Monster "Shelters Noncoms"?
Maybe that's why the Highlanders live in Scotland.
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Illuminati's Razor-The most complicatedly evil answer is usually the most correct answer. - Fazor
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read." - Mitch Hedberg
"Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort
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  #185 (permalink)  
Old 31-December-2007, 08:02 PM
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But is the Loch Ness Monster a "Stenchless Moron"?
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Steve Squyers built Spirit and Opportunity
Dan Haylen upchucked in zero gravity." -Brent Simon, The Space Camp Song
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  #186 (permalink)  
Old 02-January-2008, 05:45 AM
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Q. Who is the cannibals' favorite poet?

A. Elizabeth Barrett, Browning.
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  #187 (permalink)  
Old 02-January-2008, 05:50 AM
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You know....a mind is a terrible thing to baste.

Dan
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  #188 (permalink)  
Old 02-January-2008, 09:41 PM
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"I represent the Order of Dolphins, and I believe that there is a higher porpoise."
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Neil Armstrong walked in the Sea of Tranquility
Steve Squyers built Spirit and Opportunity
Dan Haylen upchucked in zero gravity." -Brent Simon, The Space Camp Song
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  #189 (permalink)  
Old 03-January-2008, 07:08 PM
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Quote:
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You know....a mind is a terrible thing to baste.
That reminds me of Dan Quayle's favorite food, pota-Toe chips.
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Illuminati's Razor-The most complicatedly evil answer is usually the most correct answer. - Fazor
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read." - Mitch Hedberg
"Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort
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  #190 (permalink)  
Old 03-January-2008, 07:29 PM
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Quote:
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That reminds me of Dan Quayle's favorite food, pota-Toe chips.
With or without Toejam?
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  #191 (permalink)  
Old 03-January-2008, 11:44 PM
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Did you hear about the Loch Ness Monster's brother? The one that got eaten? He was called the Delicious Ness Monster.

Ha, ha, ha! I slay me!
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Neil Armstrong walked in the Sea of Tranquility
Steve Squyers built Spirit and Opportunity
Dan Haylen upchucked in zero gravity." -Brent Simon, The Space Camp Song
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  #192 (permalink)  
Old 04-January-2008, 12:39 AM
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Quote:
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Ha, ha, ha! I slay me!
After telling a joke like that, you deserved it
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  #193 (permalink)  
Old 04-January-2008, 12:43 AM
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I really did find that funny. I am easily amused.
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Neil Armstrong walked in the Sea of Tranquility
Steve Squyers built Spirit and Opportunity
Dan Haylen upchucked in zero gravity." -Brent Simon, The Space Camp Song
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  #194 (permalink)  
Old 04-January-2008, 12:53 AM
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Quote:
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I really did find that funny. I am easily amused.
So did I...

But I found my mean joke at your expense funny too
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  #195 (permalink)  
Old 04-January-2008, 12:57 AM
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This is an actual gag I acted out with a broken phone for my friends one day:
"Hello, Leonardo Da Vinci?
(Pause)
What do you mean, the telephone hasn't been invented yet?
(Pause)
Hello? Hello?"
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Rovers forever! - ToSeek
"Carl Sagan sent a message to ET,
Neil Armstrong walked in the Sea of Tranquility
Steve Squyers built Spirit and Opportunity
Dan Haylen upchucked in zero gravity." -Brent Simon, The Space Camp Song
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  #196 (permalink)  
Old 06-January-2008, 02:22 PM
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What did the bailiff do during the cannibals' trial?

He swore, in the witness.
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"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction."
Shakespeare, Twelfth Night
Illuminati's Razor-The most complicatedly evil answer is usually the most correct answer. - Fazor
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read." - Mitch Hedberg
"Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort
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  #197 (permalink)  
Old 08-January-2008, 05:52 PM
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How does an Agnostic begin his prayers?

"To Whom It May Concern..."
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"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction."
Shakespeare, Twelfth Night
Illuminati's Razor-The most complicatedly evil answer is usually the most correct answer. - Fazor
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read." - Mitch Hedberg
"Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort
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  #198 (permalink)  
Old 08-January-2008, 08:31 PM
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Every time somebody says "everything is so great that I dare something to go wrong", something horrible happens.
When I find the guy who said that on 9/10/01, he is dead meat.
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Rovers forever! - ToSeek
"Carl Sagan sent a message to ET,
Neil Armstrong walked in the Sea of Tranquility
Steve Squyers built Spirit and Opportunity
Dan Haylen upchucked in zero gravity." -Brent Simon, The Space Camp Song
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  #199 (permalink)  
Old 13-January-2008, 10:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaiYeves View Post
Did you hear about the Loch Ness Monster's brother? The one that got eaten? He was called the Delicious Ness Monster.
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The quarrelsome oarsmen were rowing,
The great violinist was bowing;
But how is the sage
To tell, from the page:
Was it pigs or seeds that were sowing?
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  #200 (permalink)  
Old 13-January-2008, 10:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaiYeves View Post
Every time somebody says "everything is so great that I dare something to go wrong", something horrible happens.
When I find the guy who said that on 9/10/01, he is dead meat.
Erm, did you mean 9/11/01 (which, to be pedantic for a short while, is more correctly 2001/09/11)?
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The quarrelsome oarsmen were rowing,
The great violinist was bowing;
But how is the sage
To tell, from the page:
Was it pigs or seeds that were sowing?
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