You know me and my news stories. Well, I promise not to complain about this one; it's just so weird I had to post it.

Dog Collision Kills Pet At Sequim Off-Leash Park

Okay, that's got to be a poorly written headline, right? It can't possibly be what it sounds like...but it is.

It was running "really fast" (Greyhound, duh) and ran into another dog. I can't imagine, as my two dogs slam into eachother all the time...particularly when there's full cups of things to knock off the coffee table, and they never get hurt.

Musta been quite a sight, unless you were the owners of said dead dog. Name the next one Kazi.

__________________

I'm like one of those idiot savants...well, except for the savant part.
Lisa: "I'm so proud of you guys that I've even tipped off the local media!"
Reporter: "Yeah, and I already have the perfect headline! 'Activity Participated in by Some'! Ah, perfect!"

Incidentally, it's pronounced "Squim," as though the "e" isn't there. (It's on a list of "You Know You're from Washington If . . ." pronunciations. Like "Puyallup.")

__________________
Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

Interesting, I was pronouncing it (in my head, so with a silly french accent) Seh-quee-um. But then again, I'm not from (nor ever been to) Washington... unless you count Washington, PA.

__________________

I'm like one of those idiot savants...well, except for the savant part.
Lisa: "I'm so proud of you guys that I've even tipped off the local media!"
Reporter: "Yeah, and I already have the perfect headline! 'Activity Participated in by Some'! Ah, perfect!"

I believe it's a S'Klallam word, originally. I've no idea what it means. Back home, the interesting place names were all Spanish; I knew what those meant. Up here, it's a good day when you can pronounce them all.

__________________
Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

Yeah. Guess how to pronounce "Champoeg" down here Oregon way.

Although Washington has some excellent ones. I wouldn't mind having Humptulips in my return address.

__________________
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
-Dorothy Parker

Few people far from Lon Geyeland know how to pronounce Hauppauge properly.

The most recent "headline" that wins some kind of award for something rather disgusting and unnecessary would be the first capsule in this list from CNN:

__________________
A person's name, or a mark representing it, as signed personally or by deputy, as in subscribing a letter or other document.

I've never seen or heard that word, so I couldn't have been saying or hearing it wrong!... unless you mean "Hauppage", the name of a company that makes computer parts & software for watching & recording TV on the computer instead of with a separate TV & DVR. (How is either one pronounced on the Island of Misfit Speech?)

On the subject of oddly-pronounced place names, I've found that many people don't know how to pronounce the capital of South Dakota.

Despite the spelling, it's pronounced "peer," not "pee-air."

__________________
SeanF

"Ask to understand, but don't challenge unless you have the knowledge."--NEOWatcher

The contents of this post are ©2009 by SeanF and may not be copied or retransmitted in any form without the express written consent of SeanF

One and the same.

__________________
A person's name, or a mark representing it, as signed personally or by deputy, as in subscribing a letter or other document.

It figures someone from Sow-wix City would know that.

__________________
A person's name, or a mark representing it, as signed personally or by deputy, as in subscribing a letter or other document.

We're referring to Lawn Guyland, I assume?

__________________
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
-Dorothy Parker

Yeah, but from the North Shore, not the South Shore down around Massapequa. More Connecticut influence on the North Shore, more B'ooklyn and Joisey on the South.

__________________
A person's name, or a mark representing it, as signed personally or by deputy, as in subscribing a letter or other document.

It's "sye-ox."

More importantly, it's Falls not City. Sewer Ci..., I mean, Sioux City is a completely different place.

__________________
SeanF

"Ask to understand, but don't challenge unless you have the knowledge."--NEOWatcher

The contents of this post are ©2009 by SeanF and may not be copied or retransmitted in any form without the express written consent of SeanF

Sow-wicks is how it was pronounced in CT back in the 50s. Along with that Kosher Kasanovaesque-kharacter, Don Jew-won.It's not my fault that Sioux whatever is in decline. Hopefully after it falls, it will get up, brush itself off, and find that upswing.

As those with nautical knowledge say, if you're going to "pee-air", make sure you know which way the wind is blowing.

__________________
A person's name, or a mark representing it, as signed personally or by deputy, as in subscribing a letter or other document.

Here's another one, the headline kinda says it all:
Fire Department Burns Down

Woops.

__________________

I'm like one of those idiot savants...well, except for the savant part.
Lisa: "I'm so proud of you guys that I've even tipped off the local media!"
Reporter: "Yeah, and I already have the perfect headline! 'Activity Participated in by Some'! Ah, perfect!"

You aint kidding...there's not much more than the headline itself.

$100,000 in trucks and equipment? that sounds rather low. Isn't your average fire truck in the 6 figure cost catagory?

And; was it an "inhabited" fire station?

__________________
Numbers are not case sensitive. (me)

From the ammount of damage given, I'd guess that this was a volunteer department. It would be easy enough to look it up and find out for sure, but I'm lazy and don't really care. The humor is in the "Fire station totaled by fire", not in the details

__________________

I'm like one of those idiot savants...well, except for the savant part.
Lisa: "I'm so proud of you guys that I've even tipped off the local media!"
Reporter: "Yeah, and I already have the perfect headline! 'Activity Participated in by Some'! Ah, perfect!"

That's also my point. If they gave the details, it would subtract from the impact of thier story. Yes; a small isolated garage holding a pickup truck with hoses, a water tank, and a pump for a volunteer fire department would be fatal details for the story.

And; I am lazy too, but I'm also curious.
Here's some stats

__________________
Numbers are not case sensitive. (me)

So how would that be a fire station?
To me it sounds like a social club that doubled for a garage for a firetruck.

__________________
‘To those who regard “crime fiction” as some sacred icon which must follow a rigid formula, I will always be the man who writes 18-syllable haiku.’Trying to make sense of computers, The Error Log.

It sounds like a volunteer fire department where somebody didn't know how to fill in a form describing what they really are... or one where everybody would rush to a fire to fight it but isn't officially trianed & certified (or was but had it expire).

I guess such stories are the obverse of those where the water department is incapacitated by a flood.

__________________
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
-Dorothy Parker

Greyhounds ain't the toughest doggies in existance. When you've got a pooch with a waistline narrower than its neck, you've got a serious structural flaw that won't stand up well to punishment.

A cousin of mine owns a miniature greyhound, maybe twenty inches nose to rump, and I get nervous holding him because he feels so frail, even though he's a perfectly healthy pup.

__________________
The last time I felt a warm fuzzy feeling, I was informed by my doctor that it was just gas.

I've spent more time around greyhounds than I've really wanted to (my ren faire boss's ex is associated with a racetrack rescue organization), so I can tell you that what you've probably got there is an Italian greyhound. I can also tell you that greyhounds aren't very bright. That's because their heads aren't big enough for brains that have much more than "run" and "cookie" in them; I had a theory that one of those dogs would fall over if he was running and you held up a cookie in his vicinity.

__________________
Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

I'd suspect it has less to do with head size, and more to do with the inbreeding that goes on to keep them "purebred" and maintain high "performance" for racing. Same problem with dalmations...and I suspect any other dog that is prized for it's pure-bred-iness. (We had a dalmation growing up, though my parents only put up with it for a year or two. It was dumber than a brick.)

__________________

I'm like one of those idiot savants...well, except for the savant part.
Lisa: "I'm so proud of you guys that I've even tipped off the local media!"
Reporter: "Yeah, and I already have the perfect headline! 'Activity Participated in by Some'! Ah, perfect!"

Well, and of course that's also true. But greyhounds do have awfully small heads.

__________________
Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

The GF and I often dog sit for some friends that have whippets. These are the step between a greyhound and an Italian greyhound. Proportionally speaking, their chests are bigger and the waists are smaller than the other two, and yes, they have tiny little heads. The older of the two is really spoiled and can see the difference between forks and spoons and know how to eat off of each one. Sort of sad really. He's pretty smart overall. The younger one is, well, not. He's a happy loving dog, but stupid. Not the dumbest I've ever seen, but in the running.

And I agree with Doodler on how fragile the seem. I grew up with Irish setters that outweighed me by up to double. It's not a real dog unless you can grab one leg and through your body into it's shoulder to tip it over. Every time I touch a whippet I think I'm going to snap those little legs in half.

__________________
I'm not evil.
An evil person would do the things I think up.

I guess I was lucky. We had a Dalmation when I was growing up during the 1950s. She was a great, smart dog. Must have been born before the inbreeding started. When she got so old that she had to be killed at the local "shelter" it was the only time I saw my father display some kind of emotion other than anger.

Here's what she looked like:

__________________
A person's name, or a mark representing it, as signed personally or by deputy, as in subscribing a letter or other document.

Well, like people, you can't paint all animals with the same brush. Not all "show breeds" are inbred to the point of retardation; the risk is just higher with some than others.

Even though ours was dumb as nails, I loved it (I was 12, what'd I care if it tore up everything? Well, except the time he ate my allowance money). I still remember the "Hey, where ya goin?" look on his face as we walked away from the pound.

But on a happier and ironic note; I now have two dogs. Both are mutts (both rescued, so not entirely sure what they have in them) and they're both way too smart. It gets annoying being outsmarted by dogs...I should probably stop underestimating them.

__________________

I'm like one of those idiot savants...well, except for the savant part.
Lisa: "I'm so proud of you guys that I've even tipped off the local media!"
Reporter: "Yeah, and I already have the perfect headline! 'Activity Participated in by Some'! Ah, perfect!"

Yeah, this sounds like a time before the puppy farms took off. That's only been in, what, the last 20 years?

As for head size and intelligence, I would hesitate to draw too many links there. My cats are pretty bright, and they're smaller than a greyhound. Its less the size of the brain than it is the efficiency of what's crammed in there.

__________________
The last time I felt a warm fuzzy feeling, I was informed by my doctor that it was just gas.

It probably also depends on whether intelligence is part of the specification for the breed.
Though there's definitely breeders who will forget that for most breeds, the specs where designed to fit a profession, and go nuts aiming at an ideal look while ignoring everything else that is relevant for the job, such as intelligence and good health.

__________________
‘To those who regard “crime fiction” as some sacred icon which must follow a rigid formula, I will always be the man who writes 18-syllable haiku.’Trying to make sense of computers, The Error Log.