As a former sucker to one of the biggest and most successful "inverted" pyramid schemes (FYI I was lied to...surprise!) I can attest to the fact that anything that says "be your own" has an income based more on recruiting than doing the job they tell you, you are going to do.

I saw a commercial yesterday for these sticky things you put on your feet to suck toxins out of your body while you sleep. This, on its own, was bad enough. However, it referred to toxins in "the food, water, and air we breathe."

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

Haha, I've seen that one. And as "proof" that these work, they show you the actual yellow stains of toxins when you take them off! Some people might call these toxins 'body soil'... basically pit-stains from the sweat, oils, dirt, and dead skin on your feet. But their highly reliable scientists set us straight...

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I'm like one of those idiot savants...well, except for the savant part.

Theory of Zombie Relativity:
1) Everyone Else is a Zombie relative to You
2) Whether or not it matters is related to the inverse square of the distance between their teeth and your brain
(Quoted from Demigrog)

OMG I saw that commercial too. It's those magic ions again. Seems ions and magnets cure everything. That was the final straw for me. I called my buddy in Az and told him to start sending me rocks from those "mysterious" energy vortexs in the desert. I am making magic rock necklaces that ease pain, maybe I will even throw in an ion or two to make it sell better.

Nobody gets the joke, do they?

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

I did. I just inhaled my dinner.

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"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction."
Shakespeare, Twelfth Night
Illuminati's Razor-The most complicatedly evil answer is usually the most correct answer. - Fazor
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read." - Mitch Hedberg
"Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort

I saw the joke, though I had to read the line a second time.

Sorry, I was too buys remembering the happy people holding up their disgutingly stained footpads to catch it.

Perhaps they meant they work on fish and whales too? Though good luck finding a foot to stick it on.

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I'm like one of those idiot savants...well, except for the savant part.

Theory of Zombie Relativity:
1) Everyone Else is a Zombie relative to You
2) Whether or not it matters is related to the inverse square of the distance between their teeth and your brain
(Quoted from Demigrog)

And by spending the rest of the money paying off old debts, your credit score would probably improve more than their efforts as well.

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"God bless thee, my son; I will give thee the greatest jewel I have ...
"The end of our foundation is the knowledge of causes, and secret motions of things; and the enlarging of the bounds of human empire, to the effecting of all things possible."Trying to make sense of computers, The Error Log.

Any commercial with anthropomorphized food.

There's a shave lotion commercial where all a man's whiskers have his face and are happy to be shaved off. That's creepy.

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

Fish have fins and whales have flukes. Close enough for government work!

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Microsoft is over if you want it.

The bar has been lowered for the promotion of ATM ideas; the bar for the acceptance of ATM ideas must remain high.

There's a Fabreeze ad which shows the magical elixir surrounding and trapping nasty scent molecules on a seat cushion... and then they just shrink and disappear. Pym particles, maybe?

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"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction."
Shakespeare, Twelfth Night
Illuminati's Razor-The most complicatedly evil answer is usually the most correct answer. - Fazor
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read." - Mitch Hedberg
"Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort

Nah, he keeps those a secret.

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"If you think the LHC will create black holes, you might as well believe Hobbits are at the bottom of your garden."- Dr. Mike Inglis
Rovers forever! - ToSeek
"Carl Sagan sent a message to ET,
Neil Armstrong walked in the Sea of Tranquility
Steve Squyers built Spirit and Opportunity
Dan Haylen upchucked in zero gravity." -Brent Simon, The Space Camp Song

He sold the formula years ago. How else can afford to keep building super-gadgets?

__________________
"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction."
Shakespeare, Twelfth Night
Illuminati's Razor-The most complicatedly evil answer is usually the most correct answer. - Fazor
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read." - Mitch Hedberg
"Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort

You eat whiskers?

There's an annoying commercial for Dunkin' Donuts, featuring the classic song "Doin' Things Is What I Like To Do!"

Barf. There, I just did a thing.

__________________
"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction."
Shakespeare, Twelfth Night
Illuminati's Razor-The most complicatedly evil answer is usually the most correct answer. - Fazor
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read." - Mitch Hedberg
"Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort

Yeah, I should have reversed those. Oh, well.

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Gillian

"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

"You can't erase icing."

"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

As for commercials I like, the new Internet "trailers" that NASA is making for missions always get me pumped.

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"If you think the LHC will create black holes, you might as well believe Hobbits are at the bottom of your garden."- Dr. Mike Inglis
Rovers forever! - ToSeek
"Carl Sagan sent a message to ET,
Neil Armstrong walked in the Sea of Tranquility
Steve Squyers built Spirit and Opportunity
Dan Haylen upchucked in zero gravity." -Brent Simon, The Space Camp Song

"ALL NEW!"


You would think that they would have gotten at least a little bit of the previous version of the product right.

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