You will wonder how you ever managed without these words and phrases.

Corrector Slice: A deliberately misshapen slice of bread cut from a loaf in order to restore a measure of regularity to the remaining part of the loaf. This occurs after the loaf has been cut so ineptly as to be rendered amorphous, if not quite non-Euclidean.

Flap: A section of duvet cover at the head end of the bed that does not contain any duvet, probably as a result of slippage. Usually noticed late at night when you are too tired to get up to "shake out the flap" or because you are afraid of disturbing your partner - who, you notice, has no such flap problem.

Litravex: The frustration experienced on public transport when you cannot tell what book the person opposite you is reading, no matter how much you squirm about in your seat in an effort to get a better view of the cover.

Nitpick nono (or nogo): When someone has made a factual or grammatical error in their speech which you would normally correct, but on this occasion you decide not to, because the speaker has just received some terrible news, or is your boss, or is holding a gun to your head, or all of the above.

Those are Sniglets! I love Sniglets.

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"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction."
Shakespeare, Twelfth Night
Illuminati's Razor-The most complicatedly evil answer is usually the most correct answer. - Fazor
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read." - Mitch Hedberg
"Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort

I regularly have to produce corrector slices because my wife is always preferentially removing the crust from the homemade bread. Probably making her a crustacean .

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

Thanks for the link. I was aware of Douglas Adams' Meaning of Liff, but not the term "Sniglets".

Interesting you should mention home made bread. Until a year or so ago, we normally had either sliced bread, rolls, or a loaf that you could slice fairly easily. Since we got the breadmaker, we've tended to experiment with flour mixes. Consequently, we get some loaves which are firm and easy to slice, others which squash like marsh mallows, resulting in slices that resemble scimitars, oyster shells, or saddle-point models of the universe.

I once had a copy of The Meaning of Liff. Two of my favourite definitions were (really approximate - going from memory):

Vancouver: a large wheeled machine with brushes and vacuum used for cleaning city streets.

Abilene: The wonderful sense of coolness you feel on a hot, sleepless night when you turn over the pillow.

Shellices?

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"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction."
Shakespeare, Twelfth Night
Illuminati's Razor-The most complicatedly evil answer is usually the most correct answer. - Fazor
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read." - Mitch Hedberg
"Distance doesn’t matter much in space, where if you just start a thing off with the right kind of shove, sooner or later it will get where you want it to go." -Frederik Pohl, Mining the Oort

Beautiful - you've just made me fetch my copy of Liff!

(Believe it or not, I actually prefer your wording to the original.)

Resisting the urge to copy out the entire book, here's a few more gems from The Meaning of Liff:

Wawne: A badly suppressed yawn.

Aboyne: To beat an expert at a game of skill by playing so appallingly that none of his clever tactics or strategies are of any use to him.

Pofadder: A snake that can't be bothered to bite you.

Thrupp: To hold a ruler on one end of a desk and make the other end go bbddbbddbbrrbrrrddrr.

Bread!

My wife would prefer a loaf entirely made of crust. Since I tend to do the vacuuming this doesn't bother her much.

Since my bread machine makes a rather short, squat loaf the slice saucering phenomenon is general. This is partly due to a reluctance to wait for several hours for the bread to firm up sufficiently inside.

Some times my wife will just slice all the crust off, leaving me with a cube of bread. At that point I quarter it, leave it out for a few days and make croutons in the oven.

crumbles: Anything on the kitchen floor that sticks to the botttom of your bare feet after 12AM and ends up being tracked back into bed after you get up for a glass of water. Or port. The worst crumbles aren't actually crumbly, but tend to be the sticky cellophane ribbons from cigarette packages. The latter can get stuck between your toes and often require removal by a professional.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

I have to ask, why isn't that "Libravex"? Just from an entomological prospective.

Nevermind, I fingered it out, it's French, isn't it?

Blamestorming
A conference technique of assigning retrospective responsibility for specific problems by unrestrained and spontaneous participation in discussion.

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I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, was in no way fair comment and was motivated purely by malice. I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.

And these are selected from an e-mail I received awhile ago . . .

404: Someone who's clueless.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. (Works when I do it!)

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

Which reminds me of a definition I heard many years ago for "split second": The amount of time it takes between the traffic signal turning green and the sounding of the horn by the taxicab behind you.

Lutravex: The frustration experienced on public transport when you cannot tell what species of otter the person opposite you is holding, no matter how much you squirm about in your seat in an effort to get a better view of the animal.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

Forte: Extremely loud intestinal gas.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

Watersausage:Anything that's all wrapper, no content.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

Wow, if I had a penny for every time that happens...

...I would of course be vagrant.

Pringle: Any mass-produced object that, no matter how inherently good , becomes horribly boring by endless repetition. Can also be a verb, as in, "They took a good idea and just pringled it to death."

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

Sorry, I just don't buy that one, Mike. To me, the name Pringle has strongly positive connotations:

David Pringle, the editor of the award-winning SF magazine Interzone. An excellent fellow - my biggest complaint about him is that he never gives you a chance to buy a round if you meet him in a pub, because he's too quick with his wallet.

Pringle crisps - those saddle-point model of the universe savoury snacks - the 10,000th is as nice as the 1st. One of the inventors of the Pringle-making machine was the SF writer Gene Wolfe, best known for The Fifth Head of Cerberus and The Book of the New Sun.

ETA Just remembered, when Gene Wolfe was writing The Citadel of the Autarch (Volume 4 of The Book of the New Sun) someone thought he said The Castle of the Otter, so he wrote that too. So was this inspired by an instance of lutravex?

Posturbed, inability to understand what the h*ck they're going on about, see also threadrage, bautfaced, apoplexy.

Almost undoubtedly. He also wrote under the pen name 'Brian Jacques'.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.