The other day, something reminded me of the first time I ever directly and deliberately disobeyed my parents. I'll tell the story below, for anyone interested. I'd be curious to hear others' stories, too.

For me, the moment came in 1964 at the height of Beatlemania. Now, I won't say I was the most crazed Beatles fanatic in the world, but I had a pretty serious case. And that's when A Hard Day's Night came out.

One of the local theaters announced a special opening-day event for the movie with advance tickets required. My neighborhood friends were all going, and of course I wanted to go as well. But when I asked permission, my folks said no. I guess they thought those British boys would be a bad influence on an 11-year-old preacher's kid. (Actually I'm not sure whether they objected to the movie, or to the special event aspect, but either way they refused permission.)

This kid, though, was not to be denied. I bought the advance ticket with my own money and told my folks that my friends were going to a different movie after all. They let me go along. Of course I went to the Beatles flick. Later they asked if we'd gone to A Hard Day's Night and I told a bald-faced lie: that my friends had, but I'd gone to a different theater.

Now here's the funny part. I was nailed with karmic retribution. That special showing was the craziest, nuttiest scene I'd ever been to. The theater was packed with screaming teenagers... I mean, literally screaming and crying, just like you see in the old news footage of the early Beatles concerts. (The local paper even carried a story about it; it seems the kids did some damage to the theater by jumping on the seats and such.)

So even though I went to the movie and saw it, I didn't hear it at all! For a long time afterward (until I finally saw it under saner conditions) I really had no clue what the movie was about, other than that the Beatles were in it.

Does anybody else here have a similar coming-of-age moment to share?

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Bring back Firefly!

"It is quite clear that Occam's razor does not sharpen in your pyramid." (Nicolas)

"Still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest." (Paul Simon)

I guess I'm just odd - I never really disobeyed my parents. Sure, there were small things when I was young (eating a cookie, then lying), but beyond that? Nope. Not once.

Of course, I've been an adult since I was born. I was never a child.

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Quaeso quousque humi defixa tua mens erit? Nonne aspicis, quae in templa veneris?

We rarely disobeyed our mother partly because she made trust in us, very important, but mostly because retribution was swift and harsh. Our father didn't do much fathering so there wasn't much to disobey. However, there was one time, when we were visiting him we told him we were going for a walk. He said specifically not to go in a particular direct. Well we had to go that way, now so we went a different way, hung a few lefts, then a right, and we were exactly where he told us not to go. I was hit by a car that night and spent the next month in the hospital. It's safe to say we didn't get away with it and hearing about the one time my father was right for 17 yrs was my punishment.

My Dad sat me down once and 'asked me' (basically 'forbade' couched in less unpleasant language) to not play D&D with my friends. Even at 12 or so, I knew the 'sweat' smell of fallacy, although I wasn't educated enough to present anything resembling a case that wouldn't make the situation worse.

His argument was basically a running paraphrase of Pat Pulling's backside whatsit. Oy. I did eventually (after college) sit my father down and correct his 'facts', he won't object if I were to start openly playing again, but it was much to late to matter.

That said, my friends and I merely changed the venue and kept playing. It was a shame; my folks' basement was by far the most comfortable for hosting larger games. My friend whose home we ended up using got a 'forgivable loan' of my source books and modules, much of which I inherited from the ranks of the previously banned. He still has 'em, last I heard.

I eventually stopped playing (for lack of time/group) when I went to college, by some definitions anyway. Considering how many CRPGs I've played since then...

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In Fallout 3, 'happiness' is a warm junkyard dog and a loaded gun. It's mostly the loaded gun.
- Moose's one-line review.

"your going to regret that one. You are now a colonoscope...
- Chrissy, corrupting PraedSt's wish.

I engaged in so much more mischief than I can even vaguely remember. Thing is, my parents for the most part instilled the wisdom to stay clear of most of the worst dangers, and the intelligence to get away with the things I didn't steer clear of. Not to mention a little luck here and there. It's kind of what's behind my philosophy of things like teaching my kids the correct way to play with fireworks instead of making it a forbidden fruit. They will get to it eventually, and they're better off prepared when they do.

The best mischiefs - still can not be disclosed. In the vault - probably forever.

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Don of Borg - Cool, Calm, Collective.

"Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

Just quoting the bit I'm focusing on...
But I cannot help but think that your parents put one and two together before you had gone out.
Let's see, there's a major craze over the Beatles...
The movie comes out...
You ask permission to go with all your friends and are denied...
Then suddenly you and all your friends change your mind and decide to go to another theater on that exact same night during Beatles craze?

Riiiiiight... And it doesn't help that your story changed after the fact. One can't help but think they knew, expressed their disapproval at you going, yet "allowed" you to make the choice to go and to lie about it.


Now, it's true that sometimes parents don't always make sense.
But sometimes they do and they know things that you are not yet aware of. That's why parents don't need to explain themselves to children.


Sometimes being a parent includes knowing you have a good kid even when they defy you at times.

Perhaps. Or maybe they thought I was a bit more honest than I actually was -- and up till then, I had been. (Preacher's kid and all that.)

My own recollection is that they were suspicious -- they suspected that my friends had told me we'd all be going to the other movie when they really didn't intend to. But of course my folks may not have "really" accepted my explanation.

Sadly, it's a bit too late to ask them about it now. They're still alive, but their memories are not what they once were. That incident is very unlikely to be one that they'd remember now.

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Bring back Firefly!

"It is quite clear that Occam's razor does not sharpen in your pyramid." (Nicolas)

"Still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest." (Paul Simon)

By the time I was old enough to make up my own mind about things my mom already knew to give me permission. Were she not to give me permission I would do it anyway.

The good thing is that we never got into trouble.

Once when I was older she made it clear to my girlfriend and now former fiancee that she didn't want us sharing a bed in her, my mom's, house. She didn't make it equally as clear to me because she knew I'd defy her. Mom held it against Sharon for a long time but never me.

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"I will do my best to understand and explain the universe from big to small without invoking miracles, unrepeatable events, or divine intervention. In place of those things I will use observations, mathematics, and science."


-Cross
My travel blog

Some of my Astrophotography


Those that lack education have a hard time understanding its value. - Cross

But you do remember and it seems from your telling of it that their faith in you was justified.
Even though you went.
Even though you lied.
You grew up to be a man.

It can be very hard to watch someone do something wrong and not want to intervene. Yet, part of life is letting people take the hits and learn their lessons.

Crosscountry, had I a mother and she made such a stipulation about my fiance and I; as an adult I would need to respect her wishes In Her House.
Whether I agree with it or not, it is her house and she has the right to ask that respect of me.

Some lines, are just not to be crossed.

The good ol' "I'm sleeping over So and So's house" while So and So told his mother he was sleeping over my house. This was so we could stay out at Oyster Point and fish for sharks and rays all night. Those were good times. Heck I was in my late teens before I had any use for fishing line less than 25 pound test. 35 to 40 pound is what I would usually use.

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Gimme a minute to read through Jay's latest observations...

And each person gets to pick which ones those are.

Just pointing that out because the way you stated it was so . . . can't find the words. Like you personally just decided that there is a moral rule that you would abide by and so should everybody else.

Unless implied, but not stated, is that it is a line you wouldn't cross, but others are free to as they wish.

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Don of Borg - Cool, Calm, Collective.

"Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

Yes, *I* think so. It's two concepts Don. Self discipline and tolerance.

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Gimme a minute to read through Jay's latest observations...

As BigDon just clarified.

I was throwing my personal view of Honor out for viewing.
Do I believe this is a moral code that all should Abide by?
Of Course!
Do I think all will?
Of Course not!

But part of throwing theses things out is that it allows others to think about them.

Honor includes respecting the wishes of your host. As long as those wishes are reasonable or not harmful to you obviously.

I often hear people talk about their parents actually (gasp*) imposing Rules at their house. My first response is "This is a surprise?"
My second response is "Then honor them."

Yes, others must choose to do so, that doesn't mean I cannot outline what is honorable for them to choose whether or not to follow it or not.

A mother imposing a rule In Her Own House that her son not sleep with his lady In Her House is fully within her rights to impose that rule In Her Own House.

Let me add, Crosscountry, I was not trying to ridicule you or anything, just threw my two bits out there for you to think about.

I see you POV and don't disagree. It's funny how when you're in a situation you see things differently though.

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"I will do my best to understand and explain the universe from big to small without invoking miracles, unrepeatable events, or divine intervention. In place of those things I will use observations, mathematics, and science."


-Cross
My travel blog

Some of my Astrophotography


Those that lack education have a hard time understanding its value. - Cross

Isn't that the truth?

My POV that I gave, I wasn't born with. Rather, had to learn it.
And situations vary.

I think when it comes down to it my parents made a lot of mistakes in their earlier years and neither felt like they could tell me how to live. My Dad still hasn't grown out of his mistake years even at 55 years old. He has gotten better in my eyes, but only after the law got involved.

My mom grew up a lot after having children, and other than physical appearance you wouldn't recognize her as the same person she was 30 years ago.

__________________
"I will do my best to understand and explain the universe from big to small without invoking miracles, unrepeatable events, or divine intervention. In place of those things I will use observations, mathematics, and science."


-Cross
My travel blog

Some of my Astrophotography


Those that lack education have a hard time understanding its value. - Cross