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Old 22-June-2008, 08:41 AM
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Default There's A Chinese Proverb In Here Somewhere

So I was taking out the trash the other afternoon and while doing so saw a very pretty woman near my age walking down the alley with a malamute.

(Okay, folks keep blowing me guff over the identity of the various arctic dog breeds. This was a large, light gray and white "german shepard" with a curly tail.)

Anywho, as I was watching her leave I saw a rather interesting tableau.

My neighbor's chihuahua, who is ballsy out of all proportion to his size, found a way to escape his yard by going through a hole in the screening of one of those low rectangular vents in the garage.

Launched his himself and bit the malamute on the right buttock and hung on. This of course was utterly shocking to the larger dog, and after a second of stunned disbelief he was a furious whirlwind.

The chihuahua was unbelievable. The only reason he is still alive was the 'mute started spinning to the left and the smaller dog, hanging on to the larger dogs right buttock, was just a little too short for him to grasp the smaller dog. If he had spun in the other direction he would have crushed the chihuahua like a bug.

The chihuahua meanwhile, is in the "flying dog" position with his front legs folded, his ears flapping in the breeze, his tiny backside mere millimeters from a ravening toothstudded meat processor. And I kid thee not, the chihuahua was smiling!

The only reason the chihuahua lived, much less escaped all injury was the woman, after taking a bit longer than Fido in overcoming her surprise, began giving the dog commands in German that I recognize as that really expensive program that german shepards are put through as a worthiness to breed thing in some countries. The name escapes me at the moment.

The malamute must have earned his degree. The chihuahua had dropped off his butt finally and the malimute had the light of bloody murder in his eyes, I kid thee not!

The lady gave one command, the 'mute really, really didn't want to hear it and the lady repeated it with a tug and damned if she didn't locked his heels!

The malimute was so angry it was trembling! And she got it to heel and walked it down the alley close to her leg. But there was no way in hell she was physically restraining that dog. The malimute was walking all stiff like it was in a trance and twice it did a slow motion look over its shoudler at the chihuahua who had stayed near his garage.

When they were out of sight the chihuahua trotted back to his hole in the screen and I swear the darn dog was chuckling!

He won the fight!
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Old 22-June-2008, 01:12 PM
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Quote:
There's A Chinese Proverb In Here Somewhere
Let's see, the chihuahua is the terrorists, the malamute is the USA, the lady is the elite effete snobs, BigDon is Rush Limbaugh. Is that close?

No, wait, I have a better one: When the big dog turns left, the small dog bites the right cheek.

Last edited by hhEb09'1; 22-June-2008 at 05:59 PM. Reason: polished aphorism
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Old 22-June-2008, 05:56 PM
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"Ren off medications again."
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Old 22-June-2008, 08:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigdon
There's A Chinese Proverb In Here Somewhere
Turn the other cheek!
Size is no guarantee of strength!
Ninja chihuahua ! kicks butt (or bites in this case)
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HR: Of course it was. So I take it as, no. When you invent things, such as the Universe, do you work better in a team environment, or by yourself?
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Old 22-June-2008, 09:25 PM
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If biting large butt, smile and hang on for the ride of your life.
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Old 22-June-2008, 09:59 PM
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Size doesn't matter.
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Old 22-June-2008, 10:21 PM
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Default Re: There's A Chinese Proverb In Here Somewhere

Confucius say: Little dog "chew", big dog go "Wah wah!"
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Old 22-June-2008, 10:48 PM
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"Before you beat a dog, find out who its master is."
Source: (Chinese)
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Old 22-June-2008, 10:54 PM
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why have a dog and bark yourself!
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HR: Of course it was. So I take it as, no. When you invent things, such as the Universe, do you work better in a team environment, or by yourself?
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Old 22-June-2008, 11:00 PM
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It is not the size of the teeth, but the place the teeth are applied, that measures success.
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Old 22-June-2008, 11:23 PM
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dog thoughts:

*wheres that spring board gone*

chihuahua," should have gone to spec savers".
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HR: Of course it was. So I take it as, no. When you invent things, such as the Universe, do you work better in a team environment, or by yourself?
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Old 22-June-2008, 11:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarongsong View Post
"Before you beat a dog, find out who its master is."
Source: (Chinese)
Nice one Sarong!
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Old 22-June-2008, 11:32 PM
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Default Re: There's A Chinese Proverb In Here Somewhere

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Size doesn't matter.
Yeah, and a wallet is just as good as a briefcase.
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Old 23-June-2008, 12:40 AM
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or it could be " its bite is worse than its bark"
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HR: Of course it was. So I take it as, no. When you invent things, such as the Universe, do you work better in a team environment, or by yourself?
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Old 23-June-2008, 12:56 AM
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"Big dogs have little dogs
Upon their butts to bite 'em.
And the little dogs have lesser dogs,
And so on ad infinitum."
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Old 23-June-2008, 01:02 AM
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AH! but the flea has the last laugh.
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Originally Posted by swift
HR: Of course it was. So I take it as, no. When you invent things, such as the Universe, do you work better in a team environment, or by yourself?
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Old 23-June-2008, 01:13 AM
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Mike, superchihuahua weighs 7 pounds. He has an adorable little "wife" that weighs four and a half. Her coloration makes her look like a polymorphed doberman with a lightbulb-shaped head. She bites him on the ears when he tries to eat her food and he runs away.

I had to tell my neighbor he had a hole in the screen and his dog was getting out. It was attacking other dogs since I posted. Then retreat through the hole before the response could organize. His little "wife" had started to follow him on these sorties.

There was mastiff and St. Bernard body parts everywhere!

Actually the lady of the house almost had a heart attack when I told her what was happening. The man of the house is a not very friendly Spainard (or Portuguese) fisherman. Right out of central casting I might add. Very old school. One could say he was crotchety. But I'm sure his wife saw to repairs being done. Since its done.
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Old 23-June-2008, 01:25 AM
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wonder who the little beast is going to attack now!
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HR: Of course it was. So I take it as, no. When you invent things, such as the Universe, do you work better in a team environment, or by yourself?
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Old 23-June-2008, 01:43 AM
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You know what "they" say:

They always kill their masters!
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Old 23-June-2008, 01:46 AM
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...superchihuahua weighs 7 pounds. He has an adorable little "wife"...the lady of the house almost had a heart attack when I told her what was happening. The man of the house is...out of central casting...one could say he was crotchety...
as in, say, chihuahua?
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