Paul,

sorry if my post sounded sarcastic, it wasn't meant to be. Your answer was the antithesis of a googled answer. It made a plesant change from the norm in the Film Quote board...... (waits for hat flogging)

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There we were in the park when suddenly some old lady says I stole her purse..... I chucked the professor at her but she kept coming..... So I had to hit her with this purse I found.
-- Bender

I for one found your response entertaining because I was thinking the same thing.

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Everything I need to know I learned through Googling.

No worries, Mellow, I wasn't offended. With the BABB, I tend to assume that if something can be taken two ways, the good-natured meaning was probably the one intended. (If only this were true with some of the other BBs I frequent.)

However...

...What on earth is a hat flogging? And how naive do I look asking?

Paul,

A hat flogging is what you get from your friends when you've said something daft or un-funny (old english).

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There we were in the park when suddenly some old lady says I stole her purse..... I chucked the professor at her but she kept coming..... So I had to hit her with this purse I found.
-- Bender

Aha! A bit like what Hardy used to do to Laurel.

I'm old (41 next month) and English but I didn't know it...

Anyway, nobody else has guessed at the quote so here's another passage. This will probably give it away.

OLD?

Wash your mouth out.

Perhaps with Guinness.

(edited to add)

You didn't know you were old and English?

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

Well, 'twas the day for it....

Just while we wait for someone to get the right answer (I have no idea what it is): Given the history of the last millenium or so, why do we have the phrase Luck of the Irish?

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

Because we're still here, I'd think

Much as I'm enjoying the conversation (and I am!) does anyone want more of a clue - e.g. a summary of the plot premise?

Thinking more of the second quote than the first one...
Foucault's Pendulum?

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GhiaPet Home Page

'Fraid not John.

A bit more of a clue:

In the second quote, Guilford's father has a globe of the Earth. Newspapers are mentioned, which gives us some idea of when the story is set. Obviously Europe is featured on the globe, but Guilford has covered Europe with his hand and declared it terra incognita. Why would he do that?

Okay, final clue, and I give the answer in about 24 hours if nobody gets it. Here's the plot premise, as well as I can remember it:

I once read a story called Sidewise in Time, where small sections of land flip back and forth between parallel universes. This sounds like Europe has flipped in this way, and new lands populated by strange people/creatures have replaced it. It also reminds me of Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials series, where parallel worlds are mixed by activities in the Arctic.

I still have no idea what your story is, but it does sound good.

It looks like it could be a good read, so I looked it up. Since I found it by cheating, I will not post the answer, but the premise appears interesting.

Here's a long shot. Darwinia?
The problem is, I bought and own the book but haven't got around to reading it yet.

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

I think you got it. =D>

Well done Mike, Darwinia is correct. Sorry for the delay - I couldn't get on the net yesterday. (Lousy Tesco account...)

For those intrigued by the hints, Darwinia is a good book - but, as lots of people have said, it's not the book you think it's going to be.

Paul

Thank you, Paul.

Here's my quote:

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The Devil offered me power. I told him I preferred aperture.

Four Brands of Impossible by Norman Kagen.

Fred

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"For shame, gentlemen, pack your evidence a little better against another time."
-- John Dryden, "The Vindication of The Duke of Guise" 1684

Novelization (sp) of Star Trek: Generations