Apollo 17

Gene Cernan is hammering the flag staff into the ground.
118:21:48 Schmitt: Whang! I think we hit something solid with that one.
118:21:49 Cernan: No, it was still going.
118:21:51 Schmitt: Yeah, but did you ever see it vibrate like that?
118:21:56 Cernan: No, I've never put a flag up on the Moon before.

Apollo 15

145:46:23 Scott: Joe, this crater is a gold mine!
145:46:33 Allen: And there might be diamonds in the next one.


From the Apollo 15 Flight Journal
http://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/Hi...unar_orbit.htm
Apollo 15 in orbit and approaching the Apennine mountains
083:44:25 Henize: 15, does it look like you are going to clear the mountain range ahead?
083:44:33 Irwin: Karl, we've all got our eyes closed. We're pulling our feet up.

Apollo 12

109:51:17 Bean: You're (that is, Earth is) about 30 degrees above our horizon now, Houston; and you're about a one-third crescent moon, and you really are beautiful. Big blues and whites.

109:51:31 Carr: Roger, Al. (Pause) We put on our Sunday best for you.

= = = =

The ALSJ people seem to have missed that Bean called the Earth a "one-third crescent Moon."

According to GR, you can choose the Moon as a reference frame, in which case the Earth is a moon of the Moon, sort of... :-?

Would that make the Earth a selenostationary satellite?

"I wonder where Guenter vent?" -- Donn Eisele, prior to launch of Apollo 7

[Edited to correct spelling of astronaut's name]

I don't expect that many HBs would know enough about Apollo to get that one. The book "First on the Moon" has an entire chapter called "I vunder vere Guenter Vendt?"

Has anyone noticed in the film of the Apollo 11 astronauts heading from the suiting-up room to the van that took them to the launch site, Mike Collins is carrying a pale brown bag? Apparently it contained a mounted but unstuffed fish for Guenter Wendt.

Guenter's German accent was so thick that even he laughed about it, and he was known affectionately by the astronauts as "the fuehrer of the pad." John Glenn had given him that nickname. Pete Conrad once said, "It's easy to get along with Guenter. All you have to do is agree with him."

A couple of years ago, I was lucky enough to get a couple of tickets (our company CEO had been given a bunch and they were distributed) to the Discovery Channel's debut of their special on the search for and recovery of Liberty Bell 7, Gus Grissom's Mercury capsule. They showed it on the Nat'l Air & Space Museum's IMAX screen. Guenter Vendt, who sealed Grissom in the capsule before his flight, was there, as was Jim Lewis, the Marine pilot whose recovery helicopter was nearly taken on a deep-sea dive by the capsule as it filled with water. Cool to see those guys.

I went to see the Liberty Bell 7 in Huntsville a few years ago.

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Aim high (but don't blow yourself up)!- Homer Hickam

In Soviet Russia, UFO report you!- Phil Plait

Clear skies Maksutov.

Apollo 12

173:30:12 Gordon: I think I gained weight on this trip. They've accused me of being a chowhound.
173:30:18 Lind: How come you're not getting out and doing your mile a day?
173:30:24 Conrad: He does it running from his couch to the food compartment.

Apollo 12

216:08:33 Gordon: What's the movie tonight in the wardroom?
216:08:38 Gibson: Dick, say again.
216:08:43 Gordon: What's the flick in the wardroom tonight?
216:09:13 Gibson: Dick, we've got one called "Lost in Space" or "After P23s".

These are stellar, guys! Best reading I've done in years.

Thanks, and keep 'em coming!

Apollo 12

236:03:58 Gordon: Hey, would you check with the boys in the back room? Should I have - be having any trouble with Jupiter, as far as seeing it or not? I can't see it. Do I have a right vector in?
...
236:04:39 Gordon: Hello, Houston; 12. It's all right. I got it now.
236:04:42 Lind: Very good. That gives us a lot of comfort to realize they're all still up there.
236:04:52 Gordon: Why should that be comforting to you? What if we missed one? What would you care?
236:04:55 Lind: Oh, we don't mind if we miss a star, but if all the planets aren't there, you know, the astrologers are really bent out of shape.

Apollo 11

The 1202 Program Alarm

102:38:26 Armstrong: (With the slightest touch of urgency) Program Alarm.
102:38:28 Duke: It's looking good to us. Over.
102:38:30 Armstrong: (To Houston) It's a 1202.
102:38:32 Aldrin: 1202. (Pause)
102:38:42 Armstrong (on-board): (To Buzz) What is it? Let's incorporate (the landing radar data). (To Houston) Give us a reading on the 1202 Program Alarm.

[The 1202 program alarm is being produced by data overflow in the computer. It is not an alarm that they had seen during simulations but, as Neil explained during a post-flight press conference "In simulations we have a large number of failures and we are usually spring-loaded to the abort position. And in this case in the real flight, we are spring-loaded to the land position."]

I remember reading something about John Young taking issue with the powdered orange drink on Apollo 16. Apparently it was giving him gas. Being a Florida native who takes his orange juice seriously, he offered a few choice, non-G-rated words to Mission Control about it, not knowing or not caring that he was on vox.

This isn't really a joke, but there's also the infamous "mutiny" on the last Skylab mission. The crew felt they were being pushed too hard, and temporarily ceased their prescribed activities for a day or so. Perhaps this cast some doubt into NASA's mind as to how being isolated in space for three or more months would affect the mental health of a space station crew. Now, crews on the ISS have plenty of diversions, from music to video feeds and even e-mail. And, they get to shave! I always thought the post-landing photos of the Skylab crews looked eerie, as the astronauts had a Robinson Crusoe look to them.

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Considering that we don't seem to have any HBers visiting any more, I think the thread is fine where it is and will reach more people who will find it entertaining.

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Apollo 16

The Strange Case of the Elusive Adjectives

144:16:27 Charlie Duke: "Wow! What a place! What a view, isn't it, John?"
144:16:30 John Young: "It's absolutely unreal."
144:16:34 Charlie Duke: "We've really come up here, Tony. It's just spectacular. Gosh, I have never seen... All I can say is 'spectacular', and I know y'all are sick of that word, but my vocabulary is so limited."
144:16:50 Capcom Tony England: "We're darn near speechless down here..."

Apollo 11

Sometime after GET 27:14, on the way to the moon. From The Invasion of the Moon 1969, by Peter Ryan, Penguin Books, Middlesex (1969), page 85.

MCC (Lovell): "How does it feel to be airborne again, Buzz?"
Aldrin: "Well, I'll tell you. I've been having a ball floating around inside here, back and forth, from one place and back to another. Just like being outside [space-walking], except more comfortable."
MCC (Lovell): "A lot bigger than the last vehicle." [Gemini 12 with Lovell.]
Aldrin: Sure, it's nice in here. I've been very busy so far. I'm looking towards taking the afternoon off. I've been cooking and sweeping and almost sewing and, well, you know, the usual housekeeping things."

While on the way to the moon, the crew open the hatch between the command module and lunar module for the first time. From The Invasion of the Moon 1969, by Peter Ryan, Penguin Books, Middlesex (1969), page 89.

Collins: "When you open up the door... it turns the lights on. How about that, it's just like a refrigerator."

For me, Michael Collins had one of the more subversive senses of humour going around. It's a shame that the Capcoms often missed his one-liners due to poor comms. I just wonder what he might have come up with if *he'd* been the first man on the Moon.

Peter B: Please post some of Mike's jokes. I haven't seen many and have posted the few I know of.

From my understanding of astronaut culture I'm a little dubious that his one-liners were missed by the Capcoms, most of whom were astronauts. They were a highly competitive lot and so into one-upmanship that they would have been reluctant to admit that someone else had come up with a good joke. It's more likely that they would have cracked a little smile, thought, "Good one, Mike," and carried on doing their job as if nothing had happened.

After listening to their exchanges, I think that happened often. Many good jokes were acknowledged with nothing more than a simple "Rog."